so yes, keep those lovely memories with you

ph: weheartit

I just came across this letter while cleaning out my computer files. Two
years ago I clearly realized that yes life does go on. And I am worth it.

Dear Sidney
Read this anytime you thought life was easy, or hard. “oh take me back to the start” said coldplay. Yes coldplay. The lovely piano that Nathan played for you. He doesn’t like you and its hard to hear. And yes he broke your heart but your worth better. Those drunken hookups were nothing, yeah they were fun but they are not going to get you anyone better than him– and that is what you deserve. So put on a smile. Don’t ignore the fact that your sad, or lonely. But move on. Wallowing does no good, and the memory is important. So yes, keep those lovely memories with you, because it is very unlikely your future husband will love coldplay, john mayer, and johsua radin as much as you do. But if he does, because he will be the best man for you and make you extremely satisfied and happy, look back with a smile at those times. Because you loved them. And they killed you but they were great. Watching the stars on the car, seeing him play at potbellies, driving with him. There were good times and you were friends but that is it. And he broke your heart but it will only make you love someone even more, because he won’t do that to you.

Sidney you’re beautiful and worth it. Don’t cry. Love you.

-Sidney

to love you in the way you need

ph: weheartit

You just left my apartment, just moments ago. You confided in me, fears about her. The girl who stole your heart years ago. The girl who destroyed it and for the past 18 months has kept pieces of it across the ocean. Now she's returning, and you'll return to her.

You're my best friend. Our simple, casual friendship grew letter after letter, visit after visit. The past four months you've been by my side. I like who I am when I'm with you. I was starting to lose pieces of me, you brought them back. You helped me put myself together and I love you for that. Now it is time for me to be there for you. You are going to go back to the girl that broke you, if she'll have you. You won't admit it, but we both know what is about to happen. It may work out for a while, but eventually you'll be left more messed up than before. You are lost and likely to have your heart broken in the next 10 days. There is an easy way to avoid this heart ache, but you were never one to take the easy way. I like that about you.

I'm afraid of seeing your torn apart. I'm afraid of loosing my best friend. Sadly those are the two options. I want you to be happy, perhaps more than I want me to be happy. I guess that means, if it was up to me....I would choose to loose you. I would choose to watch you be happy. However if she breaks you, I will be there to collect the pieces and put you together again. Fix you like you fixed me.

No matter how the next few weeks pan out. You should know how this whole situation would end if we lived in a chick flick. I would win. She would come home, you would turn her down and run to me. You would confess your love to me and we would ride off into the sunset, or in our case ride off to graduate school. Since we live in reality, I am willing to love you in the way you need me to.

2 years

ph: weheartit

Dear R,

2 years of beautiful. That's how I look at it. 2 years of something really fucking spectacular. Hell, we weren't perfect. There were dark days and days that I thought the sun couldn't compare to us. But we were this funky twist of fate that turned into a bond that couldn't be denied, only relished and cherished. Our end wasn't pretty. It wasn't simple. It wasn't painless (they never are). We both did things I thought we'd never do, in good ways and bad. We tried to recreate those 2 years, to go back there and steal maybe one more glint of light from that spark. But it wasn't the same, and after many trials, many different outcomes, we are over. It took something really big to show me that-that it was different, that our 2 years were something so incredible they couldn't be duplicated. But I want you to know, I want this to reach you-in losing you as my boyfriend, my lover, I finally see, after these months of indecision and fear (and hell, i'm still scared now) that i miss you as a person more than anything. The best friend I had in you is the part that I never want to lose. Our 2 years of beautiful are worth an eternity of memories, and the friendship that comes out of being that to someone, should never be lost. I'm not sure when we'll find what works, how we can still be close and not get hurt. But I hope we get there. I really hope we do. So know from here that I still love you, that I would always do anything for you and a large piece of my heart will always be yours. 2 years of fucking beautiful, R, really fucking beautiful. Thank you for those. Go out and live, show the world what I was lucky enough to see. I love you, forever kid.

Always,
S

see me too

ph: weheartit

I don't really care if anyone sees this or not, it's not really the kind of thing to get published. I just had to say it- I'm in love. That's it, just love! And he doesn't know, and he can't know. The consequences our relationship would create I'm savy enough to understand, and God knows what he thinks of me day today since I'm so much younger and dumber, but I don't care. I'm past caring. Every little ambiguous feeling of doubt that hung around, that still has reason to hang around, is slowly being dismantled because I realize the truth. Ego rem intellecto. If I could scream it on rooftops I would. And I want him to know because if he points out one more guy or girl that I should date I think it might come out anyway.

I want you. It is you! and I think it's only ever going to be you. Not in that 'I'll never find anyone else' sort of way, but I'll never find anyone as interesting, intelligent, witty, funny and perfect for me again. Sometimes I just stare in wonder, and you see it, and look at me like I'm crazy. But you don't understand how crazy I am for you. No one knows. No one needs to know. I'm up and I'm down and in and out and I've realized I don't want it any other way. It's you. It's always been you. I loved you before I knew you. Yes, it happens, even if we're not together.

This isn't a good story, you're just that person I talk to and can't touch. The one who I'll either marry or think about when I'm marrying someone else. I don't necessarily know what true love is, but you've got the rhythm that matches mine. Turn around one day and let me know if you see me too.

friends with benefits

ph: StevanFane

There you go. You're in my head. I can't get you out, you're in there eating away at all my thoughts, clouding my judgements, just taking over everything. My imagination is running wild, we already had numerous dates in my head and plenty of conversations. You've already told me how beautiful you think I am and we had our first fight. I met your friends and they think I'm great. You let me beat you in your favorite video game and you saw me cry during a sad movie. You held my hand and pulled me in for a sweet kiss.

Then I bring myself back to earth and realize its just in my head. And when I wake up in your bed I know its time to go home because there's nothing there that's holding me back. The moments pleasure is gone. I give you a light kiss goodbye and spend the rest of my day thinking about you and how it could be.

whether we're together or not

ph: weheaertit

I've liked you for two years. All those English lectures together, the studying, the endless nights of coffee and laughter...

I haven't said anything, of course. I'm far too chicken for that. I'm the kind of person who would just be someone's friend, if that's what they wanted, if they loved someone else I would still be there, being their friend. Even if my heart was totally breaking. I would've waited for you. I would've accepted that there was someone else.

So, then you kissed me Saturday night, two weeks ago. It was the most beautiful night of my life - well, up until now anyway. We danced, and you put your arm around me, and as we sat on the steps in the middle of the city you kissed me. That's when I knew my heart was yours. I wouldn't hide away anymore because you wanted me, and I knew it. You told me, as we sat in the Irish bar with 90s music playing around us, that you've fancied me for a while. And I shyly said "I know. And I have too". It was awkward, but it was perfect.

So we spent time together, we kissed, we drank coffee and laughed and held hands, and you said that you were worried that you made me feel awkward. You were worried that you were making me do something I didn't want to do. I looked at you, stunned, and said "No way!" and kissed you. It couldn't be further from the truth.

But now we're at a stage where we don't know whether we're together or not. We are not quite an item, but we hang out a lot and we kiss. I like you so much, I can't really say. I think about you all the time. All I really want is for us to be together. And for the first time in my life, I'm proud to show everyone. I just want to meet your parents, family, friends, and I want you to meet mine. I'm not self-conscious.

So, my question for you is...are we together? Or are we not? Do you want me, or do you not? It's too late - my heart has already been taken over. This could break me, but I'm hoping it doesn't.

I'm hoping our ending will be a happy one. Just like the Disney movies.

I'm going to ask him about us next time we hang out. Wish me luck!

x

the unpicked

ph: Jordan Blanchard

Everyone has one- that one guy you just cannot seem to erase no matter how hard you try. He is the one who inconveniently pops into your mind just moments before you fall asleep, the name you hope to see appear on your phone, the guy who took an irretrievable piece of you at a time during your past. He may have been the one who hurt you or maybe you were the one who hurt him. Regardless of how it worked out, he is the guy you will never forget and the one you are thinking about while reading this. Yep...everyone has one.

This is to the guy that I cannot seem to erase-

I'm starting to think you were solely put in my life to cause me heartache. Every time I think I have finally forgotten you- there you are right back in my life to remind me. Yet still, there are times when I wish you had picked me. You had the simple choice all to yourself- me or her. The ball was completely in your court. We were both recently out of relationships, which made everything fresh and exciting, but when she wanted you back- you didn't just go running back, you sprinted. It all happened so fast you left me no time to react. I think you did it out of impulse because I know you regret it from time to time. But there it was, despite our undeniable connection, you picked her. You couldn't admit to yourself that you had fallen for me and I was so unexpectedly heartbroken I couldn't even fight back. That was it- you picked her and left me in a million little lonely pieces.

For months thoughts were constantly bouncing around in my mind about what I could have done or said to have changed your mind. Should I have told you that I loved you earlier? Should I have put my broken heart aside and fought for you? Or maybe it was just a lost cause from the start. Regardless, I hope you know that I would have been there for you whenever needed. Kind of like the night we laid on my floor and stayed up talking till morning- just because you needed someone to listen. I would have laughed at your lame jokes, listened to your music, and agreed with you when you were on one of your endless rambling tangents. I was always there, and always would have been. I know it was hard for you to let me go and sometimes you show that you haven't fully let go of me. You show it when I catch you looking at me, when you bring up a joke that you well know only I would understand, or the all too often drunken conversations when you tell me how much you miss me. But despite all of those things, you didn't pick me. It was a leap of faith that I was asking you to take, but you just stayed planted on the ground.

It's been 10 months now and I'd like to think that I am moving on. Sure, there are times when I wish you had picked me, when I wish it was you that was holding my hand and kissing me good night- but it's not. You didn't pick me. That is my reality. That is what I have to tell myself every time I am reminded of you.

I know you will always be that one guy to me. The one I fell head over heels for, the one that I will always question how it would be now had it worked out differently, and the one that I will always save a little piece of my heart for. But for now, I have glued myself back together and I am trying to start over new.

Maybe I can't erase you, maybe I'm not supposed to. But I need to do my best to put you in my past and forget about you because I can't let my last love be the one who left me stranded. Although I may be your unpicked, I am still holding out hope for the guy who does pick me.

- L.S.

just hold on

ph: postsecret

I was so content before I met you.

Yes I was lost, bleeding, hurt beyond comprehension, blind to my own pain. But still, I was happy. And now you come into my life and change everything. Make me feel again. Make me feel so much all the time that I don’t know what to do with myself. Make me miss you, want to be around you. You make me feel like this stupid little girl when I have lived through lives of hurt, when I’m around you it just all goes away. When I’m around you I feel safe. When I’m around you I’m comfortable, I don’t worry. I feel the pain leave, I feel my wounds and see the scars and they don’t matter as much. We can’t be together now and we’ve agreed to be friends. You don’t know this, but I’m giving you six months. Six months to see if you can be the man I need. I’m falling for you and I have to hold myself back because you’re not ready for a girl like me. If you want someone in your bed, to get you through the night, then that’s not me. I’ve seen this beautiful hopeless romantic side of you. I know you truly desire the same things I do. Then why did you have to kiss me last night? Why do I have to set you up for failure? Why do I not know how to control myself around you? I want you to succeed. I’m going to try harder to not give you mixed messages, I will be better. I promise. You're broken, and so am I. But when I'm around you I don't feel as bad. I know we could be extraordinary together instead of just ordinary apart. Just hold on babe, hold on for me. I can get you through you're pain and you can help me with mine.

And I hope you mean everything you say. You keep saying these wonderful things that make me so happy. Your promises of long walks, deep talks over coffee, wanting to become my best friend before we consider dating. I hope you mean all these things. I have a lot of hopes for you. And all I can do is sit back and pray. Pray that you are the right person for me, pray that I’ll have the strength to be there for you and to let you go if I have too.