Saturday, November 5, 2011
to love you in the way you need
You just left my apartment, just moments ago. You confided in me, fears about her. The girl who stole your heart years ago. The girl who destroyed it and for the past 18 months has kept pieces of it across the ocean. Now she's returning, and you'll return to her.
You're my best friend. Our simple, casual friendship grew letter after letter, visit after visit. The past four months you've been by my side. I like who I am when I'm with you. I was starting to lose pieces of me, you brought them back. You helped me put myself together and I love you for that. Now it is time for me to be there for you. You are going to go back to the girl that broke you, if she'll have you. You won't admit it, but we both know what is about to happen. It may work out for a while, but eventually you'll be left more messed up than before. You are lost and likely to have your heart broken in the next 10 days. There is an easy way to avoid this heart ache, but you were never one to take the easy way. I like that about you.
I'm afraid of seeing your torn apart. I'm afraid of loosing my best friend. Sadly those are the two options. I want you to be happy, perhaps more than I want me to be happy. I guess that means, if it was up to me....I would choose to loose you. I would choose to watch you be happy. However if she breaks you, I will be there to collect the pieces and put you together again. Fix you like you fixed me.
No matter how the next few weeks pan out. You should know how this whole situation would end if we lived in a chick flick. I would win. She would come home, you would turn her down and run to me. You would confess your love to me and we would ride off into the sunset, or in our case ride off to graduate school. Since we live in reality, I am willing to love you in the way you need me to.