Monday, October 31, 2011
see me too
I don't really care if anyone sees this or not, it's not really the kind of thing to get published. I just had to say it- I'm in love. That's it, just love! And he doesn't know, and he can't know. The consequences our relationship would create I'm savy enough to understand, and God knows what he thinks of me day today since I'm so much younger and dumber, but I don't care. I'm past caring. Every little ambiguous feeling of doubt that hung around, that still has reason to hang around, is slowly being dismantled because I realize the truth. Ego rem intellecto. If I could scream it on rooftops I would. And I want him to know because if he points out one more guy or girl that I should date I think it might come out anyway.
I want you. It is you! and I think it's only ever going to be you. Not in that 'I'll never find anyone else' sort of way, but I'll never find anyone as interesting, intelligent, witty, funny and perfect for me again. Sometimes I just stare in wonder, and you see it, and look at me like I'm crazy. But you don't understand how crazy I am for you. No one knows. No one needs to know. I'm up and I'm down and in and out and I've realized I don't want it any other way. It's you. It's always been you. I loved you before I knew you. Yes, it happens, even if we're not together.
This isn't a good story, you're just that person I talk to and can't touch. The one who I'll either marry or think about when I'm marrying someone else. I don't necessarily know what true love is, but you've got the rhythm that matches mine. Turn around one day and let me know if you see me too.