i want to tell you how much I love you.

ph: weheartit

I don't want to feel afraid anymore.
I want to tell you how much I love you. In a way it doesn't seem too big to handle, in a way it doesn't seem too small to be cast aside, in a way it doesn't seem like a total joke, in a way it doesn't seem like it's just another bundle of words together. But I don't know how to. How to tell you I love you in the way I would want it to come out. I want to see the anticipation from your face before I can even say these words out. I want to see the smile slowly emerging out from that little face of yours. I want to feel the butterflies in your stomach. I want to know you feel the same way too.

Sometimes I feel "I love you" is too short a phrase for all that to be evident.

the art of letting go

ph: weheartit

to say all of this to you

ph: weheartit

I remembered the first time you picked me up in that stupid car of yours & made my sit in silence until your hour of silence was up. I remember the time we met in the parking lot and you listened to me cry. I remember kissing you that night. I remember breaking your heart because not being with you was breaking mine. I remember seeing you walk into that coffee shop 6 months later and feeling like a piece of my heart was complete again. I remember those late nights. I remember wanting to call you the second I left your side. I remember all the phone calls. I remember everything you said. I remember your sweet kisses. I remember falling in love with you, and never telling you. I remember leaving for school. I remember pushing you away. I remember the regret that I felt the second we got off the phone that night after I said goodbye. I remember the tears hitting the floor. I remember that last phone call..."I'm dating someone."

My heart was ripped right out of my chest. I could picture spending the rest of my life with you. Kissing you on that bridge in Paris. Staying all day in bed with you. And now you have all of these dreams with her. She's beautiful. She seems great. Which kills me, of course. But I'm happy that you are happy. I'm not happy that she's the one making you happy. I couldn't give you everything that she can right now. I'm so far away from you. It's the worst feeling. I feel like I have my hands tied behind my back and my mouth covered with tape. If I could just see you. If I could just talk to you. You would see, I'm becoming the woman that I'm supposed to be. I wanted you to be a part of my growth. A part of my change. I miss you more than anything. I don't know if I'll ever be able to say all of this to you, face to face.

But I guess this just serves as a lesson. Never let go of something that means the world to you. I don't care how scared you are. I don't care how lazy you are. I don't care about your pride. Fucking fight for the things that you love.
-r

love someone.

ph: weheaertit

I love you. I love you. I love you.

ph: weheartit

My dearest Trouble,

I love you! Why should I wait until the end of the letter to tell you? I love you. I love you. I love you. That's what I wanted to tell you. And that's why I'm writing this letter.

We haven't been together for long, about 7 months now, but in those seven months I have changed. I have become a completely different person. Not because you wanted me to be different, but because you love me the way I am. You help me to not swallow down my emotions, but to speak them out loud and to act on them. You help me to feel good about myself because I am beautiful. You help me with everything. You are always there for me and you make me feel "needed" because you count on me.

Some weeks ago we had to part because we both study in different cities, in different countries. I was afraid, so afraid. But not anymore. Here in Germany we say "Geteiltes Leid ist halbes Leid" (A problem shared is a problem halved). So even though I miss you every day, knowing that you miss me too, helps me. Thank you for showing me every one of your faces because I love them all! I love you when you are happy, when you are sad, when you are angry or when you are disappointed. Every time I say "I love you", that's exactly what I mean - I love the whole you!

And before this letter gets too long, I will tell you again. I love you my Trouble! You mean the world to me and I will never let you go, not matter how far or for how long we will be apart.

Yours always,
Monkey