Thursday, October 13, 2011

to say all of this to you

o say all of this to you love photo love image, http://weheartit.com/entry/15938448
ph: weheartit

I remembered the first time you picked me up in that stupid car of yours & made my sit in silence until your hour of silence was up. I remember the time we met in the parking lot and you listened to me cry. I remember kissing you that night. I remember breaking your heart because not being with you was breaking mine. I remember seeing you walk into that coffee shop 6 months later and feeling like a piece of my heart was complete again. I remember those late nights. I remember wanting to call you the second I left your side. I remember all the phone calls. I remember everything you said. I remember your sweet kisses. I remember falling in love with you, and never telling you. I remember leaving for school. I remember pushing you away. I remember the regret that I felt the second we got off the phone that night after I said goodbye. I remember the tears hitting the floor. I remember that last phone call..."I'm dating someone."

My heart was ripped right out of my chest. I could picture spending the rest of my life with you. Kissing you on that bridge in Paris. Staying all day in bed with you. And now you have all of these dreams with her. She's beautiful. She seems great. Which kills me, of course. But I'm happy that you are happy. I'm not happy that she's the one making you happy. I couldn't give you everything that she can right now. I'm so far away from you. It's the worst feeling. I feel like I have my hands tied behind my back and my mouth covered with tape. If I could just see you. If I could just talk to you. You would see, I'm becoming the woman that I'm supposed to be. I wanted you to be a part of my growth. A part of my change. I miss you more than anything. I don't know if I'll ever be able to say all of this to you, face to face.

But I guess this just serves as a lesson. Never let go of something that means the world to you. I don't care how scared you are. I don't care how lazy you are. I don't care about your pride. Fucking fight for the things that you love.
-r

24 comments:

  1. I totally agree with your last sentence

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  2. my ex boyfriend of two years left for college a couple of months ago. the end of our relationship was terrible just because we knew it was coming, but i promise you, if you give time to yourself, and find passions to fulfill and just find love in YOURSELF and in DOING things, you'll feel more fulfilled than ever. just because hes "dating someone" right now doesnt mean it's over. if you are meant to be with him, it will happen. but let him do him right now and let you do you. become closer with your friends and make new friends. and who knows, maybe you'll find another love. you will have more than one in life, i guarantee you. it doesnt mean that it wont be easy, hell it was fucking terrible in the beginning for me, but now i feel more and more amazing each day and more happy with ME. and not an "us." and thats the best feeling ive ever had

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  3. My boyfriend broke up with me after four years because his parents decided they didn't approve, and he was too cowardly to say anything about it. So know when to fight; know when it is worth it. For me, him giving up was enough for me to realize that it was time for me to walk away.

    And I'm happier for it.

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  4. my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. he believed that breaking up is the best decision at the moment because he cannot take the distance. i truly want to fight on, but if one part is unwilling to. or is already moving on, it is going to be hard.

    i thank you for your post. i was on the verge of giving up, but i think i might want to fight on.

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  5. Love your vision of fashion!

    I will come back for sure!

    Follow you :)

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  6. I couldn't agree more with the last sentence. You really have to fight for what you love, otherwise you will regret it and wonder "what could have been".

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  7. `The only way to really know/ is for me to let it go/ and maybe, in the future/ you`re gonna come back/ you`re gonna come back around`
    - ingrid michaelson

    got me through some of the toughest days i`ve faced.

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  8. Thank you so much for sharing this. I feel like I'm so close to letting this happen to my relationship, and I feel like this could have been written by me in a month's time, if I don't do anything about it. I thought I'd been fighting for myself and him, but I realize that I can do better, and I will.

    Your story has been a reminder to me, of something that could happen. Thank you a million times over and over again, and I hope you get through this in the best way possible. What is meant to be will be - and I am sure you will be happy regardless of how things turn out. Like Anonymous said - the best feeling is the feeling of being happy with yourself. To feel happy alone is a blessing and something everyone should experience.

    x

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  9. Being on the other side of this story I want to say thank you. My ex of what was 7 years recently told me she was dating someone cuz she didnt want to hurt me and I get the feeling this is how things will eventually turn out. I am not waiting around to see if that is actually the case but rather focusing on myself and realizing only I can make happiness real by keeping the right frame of mind. Only you can make yourself happy. By looking at what past with the eyes of wisdom, knowing that what past is something you can use to better your future. "So many people are unhappy because they see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future finer than it will be". This too shall pass. Thanks for the story

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  10. I've been following this blog for many years now and I love all your blogs but Le Love is my absolute favourite! Keep up the good job :]

    www.byfranci.blogspot.com

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  11. This was very inspiring.. but how do you if someone is worth fighting for? and if you don't fight for that person maybe it just wasn't meant to be........

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  12. one day, you`ll meet the person you were *meant* to be with for the rest of your life, and you`ll realize why it never worked out with anyone else...

    but yes. fight for the things you love. don`t give up.

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  13. hoping that a person comes back in your life, wishing, wanting, praying,fighting, do it all, fine with me. whats more important in my opinion, after reading your great post, come back to the basic thing: be thankful that you had a person in your life, maybe just once, you dont know yet, that made you feel that way, the good and the bad side of love. this is what makes you human, this is what really counts, be thankful for it because what you had was real love, meaningful, not what the other people think love is, or mistaken it for. to have this feeling of being truly loved and truly loving back, i believe only few people really have it and when they have, realize it entirely. hope you get me. all the best for you!

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  14. i wish i could say the last paragraph to my ex..

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  15. great post. just remember to fight for someone who is willing to fight for you as well. if you two are not a good match, there's no fighting that will keep the relationship going ;)

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  16. It hurts to say goodbye when you know that life won’t be the same. But it’s better to give up than to fight, when you know that you’re the only one fighting

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  17. Had to repost this. To bad you never remember this when it really matters.

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  18. please read:

    http://freeluckyeasy.blogspot.com/

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  19. wow this speaks to the heart

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  20. We could literally be the same person. Leaving for school was the worst. But it's a bridge in Amsterdam, not Paris, for me. And I know I can never ever say it face to face.

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  21. the same happened to me, now he has a girlfriend shes very nice person... and im trying so hard to avoid him and im terrified to see him with her...

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  22. did you find my diary that I never wrote seriously.

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  23. I fought. He's the one who gave up. I think.

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  24. I'm fighting every day for the guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Thank you for your story.

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