my mind, it's stronger then my heart.

cerealkiller72

You know, it doesn't even matter whether you publish this on your blog or not. I just need someone out there to know my story, even though that someone has no clue who I am.

My relationships with the opposite sex has never been great. I was sexually abused by my mother's boyfriend and my grandfather over a course of several years. My first serious boyfriend was a complete jerk, who constantly told me that I was nothing but a whore. Needless to say, what self esteem I did have was completely battered.

But then I met this boy and I loved him so much. He was so perfect for me and in his arms, I felt safe. I felt beautiful, and that was the first time I had ever felt that way in my whole entire life. For the entire three years of our relationship, we saw each other nearly every second day and spoke on the phone for hours every night. It felt like we had the rest of our lives to be together.

But ultimately, my crushed self esteem would always attack me when I least suspected and this lead to insensitive and selfish behaviour, lots of accusations such as "you think that I'm not good enough for you". But he was always so patient and took it all, stood by me, and reassured me that I was beautiful.

I am so frustrated with myself, with my behaviour and my attitude. So I ended the relationship with him today.

I want that boy to know that I loved him so much that it hurts. That I want him to experience a relationship with a girl who isn't so self destructive. I want him to be happy. But most of all, I want him back.

The problem is that I can't just do that. My mind, it's stronger then my heart.

-anonymous

you don't need...

winterstars

i have loved you since kindergarten...

Our Anniversary. March 29th

I'm obsessed with you, I think about you constantly.
I have loved you since kindergarten and often I can't believe you're really mine.
Sometimes I forgot how amazingly hot you are until you walk through the front door, I've never been so attracted to anyone in my life.
I love the rereading the box full of letters you wrote me while we lived apart.
I love the way you make me feel amazing about myself.
You have such a cute butt.
I love that you make me laugh every day, and often so hard I cry.
I loved when you were so excited to find out we were having a baby, when I was totally freaked out.
I love when we fall asleep holding hands.
I adore how romantic you are.
I love the way we share almost every meal.
You are my favorite person.
I loved that summer after high school before we moved to different places, spending every waking minute together.
I even love that we can argue and fight, and then how we can make up...usually very quickly.
I love how you wouldn't complain when I slept from 6pm to 8am when I was pregnant.
I loved going to Senior Prom with you.
I loved that you followed me to NYC.
I love how you were able to calm E down the first night after he was born in the hospital, when I couldn't.
I love it when we snuggle every morning.
I loved it when I came home to you reading out loud to E, when he was only 3 days old.
I love how excited you are to get me to bed...
I love how I can hear you smile in the dark.


You are the only one I ever wanted to be with.
You are my perfect other half, you make me the happiest I've ever been.
I want to take care of each other forever.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel -- I lurve you, you know, I loave you, I loff you, two F's
I loff you C,
Happy Anniversary

LO
VE,
H
____________________________________

best to you both!!

xo