Thursday, March 20, 2014

we've both grown

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY LOVE PHOTO IMAGE GIRL WOMAN BLACK WHITE LAYING IN BED THINKING OUTGROWN RELATIONSHIP SHOULD SHE END IT Untitled by  Emmanuel Rosario, on Flickr
Photo via: Emmanuel Rosario

Reading these stories has my heart extremely heavy. I see so many on here who long and hope and wait for love, this exact love that I have, and here I am, contemplating letting it go.

It was 2 years and 7 months ago that you came into my life. I know love at first sight may seem cliche, but that's exactly what it was. We met through a mutual friend, started talking, and haven't stopped since. We've been through so much in almost three years, and although I love you beyond words, I'm not sure I am good for you. A friend of mine told me "Love is electric. It is obsessive and consuming. When you are in love with someone, there is no room for boredom."

I don't deserve you. You deserve to be with someone who can give you everything you give me and more. Someone without a destructive, impulsive personality who is not constantly unsatisfied and jumping from one idea to the next. I can only give you stability for so long, and you don't deserve that. You came to me at a time when I needed saving. You were my security. I was young and foolish and you were a little older and everything I needed at the time. We've both grown so much in almost three years. I don't need that same security anymore, because I've developed it in myself. I am on a journey of self discovery and it has made me realize that maybe you were who I needed then because of who I used to be. I am not her anymore.

I love you so much that I continue to stay, but I don't know for how much longer. I met a new him and I am scared of what may develop between us. The last thing I want to do is hurt you but you've been my everything for so long, what about me? No one writes about these kinds of love stories. They are too painful.

Even if this isn't posted, I am happy I wrote it. Maybe one day I'll be courageous enough to tell you. Hopefully this helps someone, I know someone is out there wondering about this kind of love story.

6 comments:

  1. thank you, this is happening to me right now, and you've helped me. thank you thank you.

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  2. It is far braver to admit your feelings and let him go so you can go and continue growing. A therapist friend of mine once told me we attract people who are about as healthy as we are. You are no longer the same insecure person who fell in love with a man, a man who saved you. But, perhaps, he no longer is the man who needs to save. You have given as much to him as he to you, at the time you both needed it. While you are falling for another, take some time just for you, before you make the full-blown leap. It's fair to you and the man you will be leaving; but, it's also fair to the new man in your life. Start over with no regrets. You deserve nothing less. http://www.hushhushheart.com/finding-yourself-without-losing-your-way-home/

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  3. I am in the exact same situation. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete

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