Friday, March 21, 2014

you weren't meant to leave

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY LOVE PHOTO IMAGE GIRL WOMAN LOOKING OUT THINKING OVER WATER SUNSET LONG HAIR REGRET EX COMMITTED SUICIDE TOOK HIS OWN LIFE WASN'T MEANT TO LEAVE Untitled by Joe Curtin, on Flickr
Photo via: Joe Curtin

You weren’t meant to leave…

We were meant to meet again. I was going to be older and more secure. I was going to tell you how much you hurt me, and how much I loved you when I was young. We were meant to drink beer and laugh about how much we used to both want the upper hand, and I was going to tell you how you were a pivotal point in my coming of age story. You were meant to think I was cooler, and be impressed of the person that I had become. We were meant to make love again, like we always did. We were meant to kiss in alleyways and laugh at stupid jokes and I was meant to tell you that you were still disgusting. I was meant to taste cigarette on your lips again, and rest my head on your chest while we lay there in the sun running my hands over every tattoo. We were meant to start texting each other in the early hours again, asking each other to come over. I was meant to tell you that I was sorry that I was so cold the second time, and tell you that when you asked to be my boyfriend that all I wanted to say was yes, but I was scared, scared of how much I cared even then, and scared of being vulnerable. And we were meant to laugh, laugh about how silly that was.

I cant now though, you took your life. And now all my meant tos and meanings are held in my chest, slowly suffocating me.


You weren't meant to leave.

9 comments:

  1. Wow.. that just broke my heart. Deepest sympathy to you beautiful; I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through. It's apparent that you loved/love him so please hold on to those memories and know that this special boy is more than definitely watching over you... you are stronger than you know. Keep pushing through. xox

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is an amazing piece of writing, really touched and moved me!!

    http://alwaysabbeyroad.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  3. You should read 'Toen ik je zag' from Isa hoes. The book describes and gets close to a woman and her husband. In a period of 10 years

    ReplyDelete
  4. that is crushing. regrets for things not said or done, or regrets for things that were said or done, we all have them, big and small. for you its so painful because now there is no recourse, hes left you hanging, had the last word. but you have sent this out there, and it is beautiful. carry on for him, he loved you because of you, all the insecurities, the cheekiness, the warmth. carry on and be you, for him.

    ReplyDelete
  5. so so sorry, cant even imagine the pain it must bring. wishing you all the best dear, i have two of my own wishing things had gone different stories, but neither this bad. thanks for this post, makes me realised how short life can be and the meant tos and the meanings have to happen now

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is a beautiful and informative post. Keep it up dear. Love spell

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks dear author for this informtative post. Keep it up dear.Love marriage specialist - Love Guru India

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...