Friday, October 7, 2011

something i have to do for me

something i have to do to me love photo love image love quote i let you go, http://weheartit.com/entry/12312012
ph: weheartit

D,

I’m writing this letter to tell you goodbye. I will never admit to writing this, much less ever give it to you, but this is something I need to do for myself. After our nearly four-year story, I’m letting go. You let go a long time ago, and I realize that it is time for me to do the same. I’m letting go of everything I thought that we would become. I’m letting go of thinking of you every single day, more than once. I’m letting go of secretly hoping that we will one day end up together. I’m letting go of waiting. I have realized once and for all that I am not meant to be with you. You know how much I cared about you, so I will not go into that in this letter. I have told you how I feel about you for years. I allowed you into the deepest part of my heart. I allowed you to know me better than I knew myself, and for that I am extremely regretful. I have learned that no girl should ever open up as far as I opened up to you. Nothing is forever, and there is no reason to be so vulnerable. I gave you parts of myself that have taken many months to get back. I put you above myself…something that I will never do again for the rest of my life. I am my top priority, no one else. I look back on our relationship and sometimes find myself wishing that it never happened. I’m not sure if I actually mean that, because, after all, everyone says it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I’m not so sure though, because you hurt me in a way that I didn’t know was possible. I loved you with every single part of me. And when we were over, I felt as if I had lost all of those thousands of parts. You left me broken... I still feel broken sometimes. Maybe we went wrong because of the timing. Maybe it’s because we were still growing into ourselves, although I guess there is no use in speculating why things worked out the way they did. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. I want you to know I think you are an amazing person. I don’t blame you for the way you hurt me. I recognize that was not your intention. I know you will do great things in life, and you deserve every inch of it. God has taught me so much about myself this past year. In hindsight, I consider our break up a blessing. But, despite the fact that I have been growing a lot, I still have a lot of healing to do. In order to do that, I need to tell you goodbye. Because every time I make the decision to be your friend, I fall harder. When you kiss me, or call me, it is different to me than it is to you. I have learned that the way I care about you is much deeper than your present feelings for me, and I can’t truly move on until I cut you out of my life completely. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. This is something I have to do for me, in order to love myself again, and someone else. Thank you for everything you have taught me. It’s been a long, crazy ride. Goodbye, D.

Best Wishes & Love Always,

M

32 comments:

  1. I know exactly what you're going through. I feel like I've been through the same. Except that I try to let go, so hard, but the next day it just seems like the words I said to myself mean nothing at all.
    I've learned a lot as well, I've become wiser and more grown up.

    I wish you goodluck,
    one day you'll realize this meant nothing. This is just one step closer to where you're supposed to be, finding your soulmate.
    Well.. that's what I tell myself. Believing it is the hardest part.

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  2. This was so beautiful and wonderful that I'm about to cry. I got the feeling of complete freedom. Relief.

    I truly hope you find someone new who loves you just as much as you love him (or her).

    Best of wishes.

    R

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  3. I know exactly how you feel, I feel sometimes that i'm going through the same :( It is hard - I know and there is nothing to do to make it easier.. I know that some day we will find the right guy for os, and we will think back at this as a step in the right direction.
    "I'm going to set you free because I don't deserve you..
    I deserve better!"
    Remember this sentence, I think it help some times :) Good luck finding love <3

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  4. What's worse is when you walk away, & no one calls after you. That's when you know it's all over.

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  5. Breathtaking.
    You found the words I've been looking for to explain the, so far, hardest part of my life- letting go of what I once thought was the love of my life. Thank you! <3

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  6. I know exactly how you feel...I'ts like i wrote this

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  7. Wow! This is my story!! Thanks for sharing and make me realize I have to let go completely! Being friends, or well trying, is way to complicated. Changing feelings from the ones you have in a relationship to the feelings of a friendship is real hard and as for me - too hard! i will always believe in love. I know we will all find that one person who's exactly right for us. Let go of you rold love in order to move on and find a new love. Don't ever let go of your belief!

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  8. I broke up yesterday and this piece resonates with me. thank you for sharing.

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  9. It is so hard to go through something like this. It takes a strong person to realize it is time to say goodbye. Time heals all.
    Good luck to you, you will find what you deserve and what you are looking for.

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  10. I can't let go. I can't. That's the only difference. I'm going crazy, feeling so alone. Don't know what to do. But what you wrote was amazing and like someone said it felt like complete freedom, relief. I wish I could feel like that. But now I just feel trapped in my own feelings, just trying to find a way out with no success.

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  11. i can't let go either. I mean, we work togheter.. and I can't cut him off.. any tips?

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  12. This is exactly what I went through this past year and I finally forgave and let go too. It'll be rough and you'll want to just turn and crawl right back into that low place you were at before, but stay strong. And after that healing process is finished, you'll look back and feel happy about the relationship, not because of all the things you lost from it, but because of all the things you gained. God helped me to learn more about myself this year as well, and He ALWAYS makes things work out.

    Good luck and stay strong my fellow sister.

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  13. This happened to me couple of weeks ago. I know it hurts, but I also believe we'll be ok, and that in the end it was supposed to happen so we could learn something about ourselves and grow up.

    Take care, and be strong.

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  14. I feel like my heart wrote this in a way I am not articulate enough to. Wow, um yeah.

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  15. dnt worry dear..i m not going to console u or something..u know what to do...:) just let it go n b happy...n try to give tym to urself snce u were so busy all these yrs with someone...trust me u ll explore many things happening around.. :) wish u luck...

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  16. OMG !
    I literally cried while reading this, I've been in the same situation, and trust me, you'll realize that you've made the best choice ever, I know it hurts so freaking much, I've been there, I totally know how you feel, but believe me, you're in the right direction :)

    Good luck, and think about yourself <3

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  17. I hope you feel a little healing after writing that. Beautifully written.

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  18. cried halfway through reading this. 2 months into a break up, of a relationship that lasted 1 year and 4 months (although it felt much, much longer.) this letter really spoke to me- i've known for a long time i need to let go of him, who served as a distraction from my life i had left a long time ago. 1 year and 6 months, to be exact. i'm ready to come back. to come back, to me. thank you for writing the words my heart knew and my soul needed to hear.

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  19. Enjoy:

    http://freeluckyeasy.blogspot.com/

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  20. you don't have to stop loving them, you just let them go. Where there is a void, there is a space where blessings and new beginnings can flow in. If its fill,there is no space.

    best wishes...

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  21. Just as I am about to write my story, i read this and you have already written it. What is also interesting is how many people feel the same. In some ways it makes you feel better but in otherways, I feel that it is worse to know other people feel the same heatache that I do.

    The problem I'm finding is I just dont have any answers...

    Good Luck... I hope your dreams come true.

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  22. your letter made me feel like i went a year back in life. I did something similar like you- a love(goodbye) letter to my girlfriend. It was really hard to be honest. I still think about her and no matter what i'll do,she'll remain in my memories forever.You've taken right step. Time heals.Hope u find some1 who respects your feelings.....

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  23. This was my story..7 months ago. I wrote this letter. Not half as beautiful as this. But i did. And sent it to the man who was an everyday part of my life for 3 years. My first love and the man who opened me up to the world. Im with someone new now. He is amazing. Perfect. I miss lots about the man i wrote this letter to but i know in my heart it was not right and could never be the man i envisioned in my future. I liked to fanasize that he was. But knew in my heart he wasnt. I cherish the memories with him and believe i will always love him but im truly truly happy now and feel my life is in the right direction. Stick up for urself. Being friends is not enough..find a man who always wants to be more than a friend and could never accept anything less. You will be ok if u remain strong and true to urself.

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  24. This makes me want to cry. Thank you.

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  25. This is exactly the way I feel, and funny enough my guy's name also starts with a D. Your letter has inspired me to write my own and let go of this boy that has broke my heart more times that I can count...

    The best for you in the future
    Much Love
    R

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  26. It can't really have success, I feel so.

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  27. wow.. i feel like this was written to me. sounds just like my X. quite saddened

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  28. I can´t stop crying...This is my story. Thank you...

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  29. Thank you this is so honest and hits close to home. You inspired me to do the same. Does it work if we don't send it to the person?

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  30. I'm going through the same exact thing, it's hard but I know I'm making the right decision... Only thing is, we had a beautiful baby girl together so I can't completely cut him out of my life

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