Friday, August 26, 2011

what to do?

what to do love photo love image holding hands, http://weheartit.com/entry/33112843
ph: weheartit

To all women who are still waiting for their knight in shining armour...

I met him - my knight in shining armour – a while ago. The one we all know about, riding on a white horse, coming to sweep me off my feet. Of course, he did sweep me off my feet, made my knees weak..all that stuff. For a while I was the happiest girl on the planet…until I realised, of course, it is not real. So to all those girls who still believe there is such thing as a knight in shining armour – Don’t. It may seem real for a while but that’s just until reality kicks in.

You see, he does love me and I do love him. But no matter what people say, love isn’t always good enough reason to stay with someone. I met him when we were both with someone else and weirdly enough, it was the best time we could have met. We tried to be friends and we were the worst friends the world has ever seen. We just couldn’t help it. He left his girlfriend to be with me. You know how people say that if a guy wants to be with you he would do anything possible just so he can really be with you? Well, he did. He told me that even if I decide to stay with the other guy and even if it’s for a long time, he’d still wait, because I was worth it. And he did, he waited for me to decide what I want to do. Of course all the time I wanted to be with him, I just wasn’t sure I can trust him. But I left all my insecurities so we can be together. And for a while, I was the happiest I have ever been. He is the sort of guy every girl would dream of, the perfect boyfriend – he made me breakfast in bed without me asking for it. I didn’t celebrate my last birthday because I lost someone from my family the same day. Few days after he made me a cake and bought balloons for me – he told me he didn’t want me to remember my birthday with something so sad, so he even gave me a present. I hardly knew him then. He likes films like ‘A lot like love’. He sat to watch ‘how to lose a guy in 10 days’ with me, because he likes the film. He loves cuddles. And genuinely loves all this. He tells me he misses me, he tells me he loves me, and he promised to do whatever he can to make me happy. You get the idea, the perfect boyfriend.

That was until I realised he is more in love with the idea of being with someone, of being in a relationship than he is in love with me. That’s how he is, how he’s always been. It just took me a while to realise that. Sure he cares and he loves me. But I recently realised he can’t be alone; he has not been single for years – jumping from one long term relationship to another. But he keeps hurting me without realising. I had to live through the millions text from his exgirlfriend and there was nothing i could say because I was the one who got in the way of their relationship in the first place. I had to just accept the fact she appeared on his door in 4 in the morning, crying, begging to get back with him. I was there for him when he was offered a job he deserved then the company decided to unfairly give it to his best friend instead. I still am there for him for all that. But he doesn’t realise how much all this stuff is hurting me. Or even after I tell him how much it upsets me, he still does it. He is just the sort of person who has to be nice to everyone, that’s just the way he is. And I keep telling myself that it is nothing, and that whatever has upset me will just go away with time. But I am not sure I can do that anymore. I am going away for a month to another country in two weeks to do a work experience..and I really am not sure we are gonna get through it. Or more like, that I can get through it.

I just don’t know what to do. I am in love with him, I can’t imagine losing him but I can’t keep on doubting stuff. I am stuck in a dead end street. Tell me what to do?


-Love,
A.

22 comments:

  1. hun, this is exactly what i would do. so you obviously are in love with him..and you dont wanna lose him, and he loves you, but he doesn't know that your hurting him. i think the first step you need to take is to conront him..tell him how you feel. tell him what hurts..if nothing changes, then id go to the country with no one holding me back..if he loves you..hell wait for you when he gets back and if you love him..youll wanna fly back to him and only him..if you love him, you wont hook up with any other guys when your away. so just tell him how you feel first of all, and then go from there..i hope i helped. goodluck sweetheart.
    mwah<333333333

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  2. but he doesn't know that he's hurting you**** sorrryyy

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  3. If he's hurting you and he doesn't know he is doing so, because that's the way he is, then I guess the real problem is your insecurity. Sorry to be honest, but sometimes is good to hear that stuff. I believe comunication is essential, specially in this case. Don't be afraid to talk to him and loose. If he loves you, he will understand you. But keep in mind that you might not change him with your talk. I believe we have to change ouserlves first to bring us the peace we want to. My advice? Take that time away from him to look at yourself, at the real you. What do you want? Do you really love him? If so, you'll accept him the way he is, and both will begin to change each other, cause both will learn for each other. If it is real love, don't let it die because of your insecurities. Put it in a balance, and see what weights more. :) Wish you the best. J.

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  4. I completely agree with Eva! You have to tell him what he makes you feel but love.
    Many people don't know stay alone, like him, they always need someone, and they become dependent for someone, and if he loves you, he's dependent on you. So, he has to know what you feel, babe, go on and tell him everything squeeze you. XX

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  5. Sounds similar to my last relationship.If 'he is more in love with the idea of being with someone, of being in a relationship than he is in love with you' then i would call quits on it. If it was the real thing, this would not happen and you would not feel this way.

    If he loved you, he would know how you feel or realise to an extent something is wrong.

    Good luck!

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  6. you are like bridget Jones, you have the perfect bf but you like drama, maybe youll get stuck in a prison in Thailand and realized what you got. Shit everything is perfect!!!

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  7. A,

    Throw that knight off his horse, strip him of his armor and put it on. Then saddle up and gallop away. You just have to believe that there is a whole world full of adventure beyond what you see in front of you. Cause dear, even us ladies can be brave knights in shining armor; if not for someone else, then for ourselves.

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  8. .If 'he is more in love with the idea of being with someone, of being in a relationship than he is in love with you' then i would call quits on it. ru. i just ended a relationship exactly like this honestly when something starts as yours did it will never turn out right. you will always "wonder" and really its a long life to be with someone like that. its a big big world and there are many people to love. move on.....

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  9. look, i dont mean to be rude, but if he is like that and you dont like how he is, than break up. he is that way probably for reasons that have nothing to do with you, so it's not his fault exactly that you are hurting. he loves you, he treats you well, he doesnt disrespect you. i think your two options here are a) accept him for him, flaws and all (yeah, this can be considered a flaw, so there it goes your "perfect" boyfriend. you are the one who see him as perfect), and dont expect or try him to change (only to complain when he doesnt) or b) leave him. this may sound too harsh, but sometimes we need to hear this stuff. i think you have a great relationship and if you feel like something has to change, try to improve YOUR comunication. it's the only thing you can change. good luck

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  10. If he's in love with idea of being with someone rather than you, well then I think you need to re-examine your relationship. I know you love him and you want to be there for him but from the sound of things you're sacrificing a tiny bit of your happiness every second you're in this relationship for a small heartache which sounds like you've almost grown accustomed to. No one, absolutely no one deserves to merely settlle when it comes to love. Us girls, we may like the idea of a knight in shining armour, but in reality that's not what we need. We need someone who in fact is in love us, adores us and not just the fact we're there. I think I mention this in my blog: http://everydayobversations.blogspot.com/

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  11. http://freeluckyeasy.blogspot.com/

    if you know what i mean

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  12. It's amazing how you understand me! :O

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  13. I really recognize myself in this story, my last two boyfriends were exactly like you describe yours. They were extremly social and just had to be nice to everyone. I really tried to accept them for who they were but in the end it didn't work out anyway. Of course there were other problems too, but still.. I think you should tell him exactly what you feel, tell him everything you wrote here and just be completely honest. If he really cares about you and respects you he would want you to be happy, right?

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  14. if he doesnt know how you fell, he cant possibly fix it. Also, you need to realise that just beacuase someone doesnt love you the way you want them to, doesnt mean they dont love you. Thats something i read on this blog once, and everytime i wish that my bf were more spontaneous or more romantic or more whatever, i remember that. No one is perfect

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  15. "Because I deserve better than someone who is scared. Because I deserve better than someone who doesn’t want to be with me right now, this minute, no matter what the future brings, even if they are stuck with me forever."
    my favourite quote of the story.
    It inspires me to be as strong as you are and just move on :)

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  16. If he hasn’t done anything to deliberately hurt you, then I don’t see the problem. I, myself, am a complete worrywart and often have panic attacks about things like this. But at the end of the day, you need to take into consideration all the good that occurs within your relationship. Don’t leave him on a doubtful worry. Take your good relationship for what it is unless something goes terribly wrong. I can guarantee you would regret it later.

    And there's nothing wrong with someone who likes to be nice to everyone. :)

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  17. You know, sometimes you just have to put yourself first. I was in a relationship similar to yours. We loved each other and was really perfect for a while, but at the end i was the one who got hurt over and over again. When I told him how I felt it was better at first, but after a few weeks it got the same.
    Then I realized he's not going to change and no matter how much I still love him he's just not good for me and I deserve someone better and so do you.

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  18. You want to know what to do?

    Read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" and then get him to read it.

    We really are from different planets! And when you realise that you'll stop causing each other so much pain.

    WK
    http://diariesofanadulterer.blogspot.com/

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  19. i am in the same boat as you........and worried about what will happen. hope it all worked out for the best.

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  20. dear,
    i think you should give ur relationship a chance..try to talk to him..coz..if u breakup...n bump into another relationship...then that time also u wnt b able to forget him n deep down u ll alwayz think about him..n ll start comparing things...n ur new relationship ll also not workout..

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  21. Goodness, there's so much useful data here!

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