Saturday, December 12, 2009

i have been left waiting for too long.


through some twist of fate we found each other. actually, you found me. you, l'étranger, settling in another city, another country. i was supposed to help, i guess that didn't pan out quite as expected...

so we met and we laughed and we shared wine and stories. and i came home with a smile and a promise we'd see each other again. soon. and we met again. and again. and we marveled at how much two lives could resemble one another with so much land between them.

let's be candid. you were good for my ego. but of course you were never supposed to be more than that. if anything were to happen between us it had an expiration date, because at the end of the year you're obviously going back home. so i was definitely not going to get entangled, not going to let myself fall in love with you. that was the plan.

and then you held me. and you kissed me. still i thought i could resist. but every time you kissed me, every time you touched me i cleared out a little more room for you in my life. and for the butterflies in my stomach.

so this was me, not caring if we publicly displayed our affection or who saw it, because it was just not that big of a deal. act, don't think, do not feel!

then the rain came. it reminded you of what you had lived before me. of what you had been through. and suddenly i stopped being your guide and became the person you didn't really know and couldn't bring yourself to trust. somehow i became l'étrangère, the stranger.

and now i'm stuck here. between giving you space to resolve your life and having given you space in my life. and i'm sorry to say, that while i had started to stray from the plan, despite having told you how patient i can be, i just don't know that i can wait for you to be ready. i can't not know if you'll be ready before we run out of time. i have been left waiting for too long.

so could you please, please hurry up?



  1. This is so beautiful and candid.

    I hope he hurries up!

  2. Cute. He better hurryyyyyyy :)

    I love this blog.
    Check out mine!<3xoxo

  3. I hope he hurries up!

  4. I am experiencing something almost the same as your situation, it is a torture. I thought I won't linger when he left... but i am flying over for him soon, god knows what will happen when we again say goodbye

  5. 1st time here n i fall in love with your header

    A smile from SJ =)

  6. I am addicted to your blog :)
    I love iiiiit!

  7. i love the photo. the mood that is portrays, i think we've all been there. sitting in bed waiting for the phone to ring.

  8. I love this,
    I'm going through exactly the same thing..and after reading this I couldn't help but start crying.

    We all hope the "he" hurries up

  9. nice picture!! i love it! and yes... i'm going through more less the same thing and just want to shout out... just hurry up!! :)

  10. I hope he will. I hope they all will. x

  11. this is weird because in my case i made him wait for me.. im not ready!

  12. Your blog is such a breath of fresh air, so delightful and joyous! A real source of inspiration, thank you for your many morsels of goodness.

    If you have a moment or two, please amuse yourself with my new creation. I would greatly appreciate the brief moment of adoration and any suggestions.

    Thank You.

  13. Love the pic!
    He better hurry. :)

  14. Lelove needs too update more often, it's the only blog I can bear to read. So please update more often?:)
    This blog makes me sooo happy!

    (sorry, didn't mean to spam there, just get your attention:)

    How is it with sending submissions? Is there a waiting list or something? Are you very critical on what to post/what not to post?

    Just wonderin'

    Lotsa love your way xx

  16. I'm going through an entirely different, yet strikingly similar situation. I hope you get what you want. I hope I do too.

  17. Wow. This story struck a chord deep within... it is exactly what I'm going through.

  18. Gotta love plans :) Funny how they never seem to work out how they're supposed to. Best of luck!

  19. I'm living the exact same story, and your words are great to express what i'm thinking about it. it's painful and sad, but oh gosh i hope he'll wake up soon and see that the girl in front of him can makes so more for him.

    thanks for everything, pics, texts, love it.

  20. I feel the same.
    I love someone who is stuck in the past. And I'm stuck with her.
    I wait and wait but I need to be careful so she doesn't even know my feelings for her.
    I wait because she deserves the wait, the painful wait but I'm tired and I'm starting to think that silence is golden.
    wish you all the best(tell him to hurry up, because love needs to be lived)

  21. it's good.
    thank you for sharing the feeling.

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  23. I'm going to start to read your blog daily. I can relate to this soo much.

  24. You are such a talented writer.


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