Photo via: Lukasz Wierzbowski // neon.tambourine
fourteen is too young to introduce yourself to someone and understand that, in some way, you've always known them and somehow, you always will. his hair was long, unkept and mine was various shades of rebellion but it wasn't our bodies that connect, that lit an instant fire it was something so much deeper. i would like to say that moment was when i fell in love with him, but it was never an actual event, it just always has been true. i've been in love with him since eternity.
my best friend for five years, even when he moved countries apart. we always understood how rare, how golden what we have is... we were scared to tarnish it. i'm still scared of tarnishing it, though now it isn't by my immature and needy understanding of love but because he is so good. he deserves the world and while i would adore to be the one to give it to him, i don't know if i can carry that weight. in my search for him my shoulders have been broken under the weight of a thousand worries, my hipbones crushed under the wrong men's affections.
but when we finally took the leap, despite the alcohol in our veins and the fear in our hearts it was all okay. not perfect, not close to it, but as a fell asleep whispering that i loved him into his chest and his fingers traced my goose-bumped skin, i finally felt as if i could rest.
i found my home. it is him.
my best friend for five years, even when he moved countries apart. we always understood how rare, how golden what we have is... we were scared to tarnish it. i'm still scared of tarnishing it, though now it isn't by my immature and needy understanding of love but because he is so good. he deserves the world and while i would adore to be the one to give it to him, i don't know if i can carry that weight. in my search for him my shoulders have been broken under the weight of a thousand worries, my hipbones crushed under the wrong men's affections.
but when we finally took the leap, despite the alcohol in our veins and the fear in our hearts it was all okay. not perfect, not close to it, but as a fell asleep whispering that i loved him into his chest and his fingers traced my goose-bumped skin, i finally felt as if i could rest.
i found my home. it is him.
