Tuesday, January 31, 2012

i still have some hopes

UNKNOWN SOURCE
ph: unknown

RZ,

I just can't let go, because today I still need you, I still miss you. And I wonder how I can still miss you, it´s been 3 months since the last time I saw you, 6 weeks since the last time we talked in FB, 2 weeks since the last time I heard your voice and 10 days since the last time I saw you passing through. I guess there´s the answer, in all this time I just haven’t stopped myself from thinking about you, but the thing is that I don't want to. I don’t want to leave you back, I don’t want to keep our story in the past, between all the other memories I don't mean to treasure. With you everything was different, it was all beautiful. And even though these months I've only suffered with your absence I would not have done anything different, every moment spent with you was worth it. You words is the thing I miss the most, how you talked to me, and you always let me know how much you loved me, I even remember that time we started fighting over who love who more, and I asked you, why did you think you loved me more, and you just answered "cause you love him too"… wow, you left me speechless, I didn’t knew what to say in that moment, really.

We did it all wrong, I loved you when I loved someone else too and you loved me when you weren't supposed to. And still I don’t regret a thing, every moment spent with you was worth it, worth the suffering I've been through this past months. Though there is one thing I still don't get, why did you leave? Because I KNOW you did love me, I know those kisses, those hugs, were real. The way you looked at me, I know you don’t look at anyone else the same way, with those beautiful eyes, telling me that you cared for me. I know that you wouldn't have given to anyone your heart, and you gave it to me, without doubting it.

And even though I know all those things, there are times I still question them, because you left, taking my heart with you. You left without caring how I felt, and thinking how just saying “Stop loving me, I´m not the guy for you” would solve everything. Today, it still hasn’t solved anything.

Every day I think of you, I go back to those days I saw love in your eyes, now I just see a stranger. A stranger I don’t want to get to know. I want to say goodbye, I want to stop thinking about you.

And the worst part is that even though I want to leave you behind, I still have some hopes, that one day we will meet again, and this time, we will have our love story.

- C

20 comments:

  1. similar to my story...i even droped a tear..seriosly...makes me think much about him.. :'(
    thanks, nice note.

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  2. I know how you feel. Its like you read my mind. I hope your love story works out :)

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  3. Please check out my blog.
    www.heartgives.blogspot.com
    (:

    I love your blog btw.

    ReplyDelete
  4. " And the worst part is that even though I want to leave you behind, I still have some hopes, that one day we will meet again, and this time, we will have our love story."

    This so so true. Except that I had my love story but he left too.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear friend,
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    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear C,

    I don't doubt he still loves you, but if the moment was so wrong maybe he chose to leave you before fights or resentments started. Is probably as hard as it is for you now, but I don't think it would be easy for a man to love a women who also loves another person.
    You can make an effort for a while and really try not to think about it, but eventually it pops up.
    So don't think that he doesn't care, maybe he just cared to much..

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  7. Last paragraph feels so hopeful.. Amazing! :)

    Love, from India!

    http://inthepourinrain.blogspot.in/

    ReplyDelete
  8. Its very sad.I read your blog and i can understand your emotions because before 6 months i had experienced the same feelings which you are experiencing.

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  9. your blog was so wonderful although it is not a happy ending. but still, you have the guts to wait that one day he will go back to you. it was so romantic! :)

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  10. he was leaving unsaid because he's hurt.

    leaving with saying will be more hurts.

    "the flower are not just one..that bee must try his luck somewhere else..."

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  11. I think your blog is great.
    It really does inspire me for my own blog. I can really connect to the stuff you write. keep on going (:

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  12. The leash should be closed bye.

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  13. I really admire your writings. .I love the feeling of reading it, it crashes me coz I can relate to it. Let's move on girl and pray thanks :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Having read this blog, I feel like sharing something I wrote last night, hoping that it connects to all of you in some way :-)
    Love, Ash...

    You need not hug me,
    Nor hold my hand,
    You need not come close,
    Nor say a word to me,

    Whenever You’re around,
    Your presence so strongly is felt,
    Not only by my heart,
    But deep within my soul,

    You calm my disturbed mind,
    You comfort my restless soul,
    You’re my answer to all,
    You’re all I know,

    We know we could,
    If we really want to,
    But let our eyes,
    Share all we can,

    Years go by,
    For moments we crave,
    Moments go by,
    For each other we wait,

    My heartbeat aches,
    Each time it beats,
    Wanting to feel,
    Each one with you,

    You tender one,
    For whom I can,
    Die forever,
    And live no more,

    Like a cloud,
    So lost,
    I fly away,
    Searching my direction,
    My beloved – in you,

    Live in hope,
    And trust within,
    Forever and ever, someday,
    I’ll be with you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi!
    your blod is pretty, I dedicate this song:

    You're just too good to be true
    can't take my eyes off of you
    You'd be like heaven to touch
    I wanna hold you so much
    At long last love has arrived
    And I thank God I'm alive
    You're just too good to be true
    Can't take my eyes off of you

    Pardon the way that I stare
    There's nothing left to cmpare
    The sight of you leaves me weak
    There are no words left to speak
    But if you feel like I feel
    Please let me know that it's real
    You're just too good to be true can't take my eyes off of you

    I need you baby, so if it's quite alright
    I need you baby to warm a lonely night
    I love you baby, trust in me when I say OK
    Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray
    Oh oretty baby, now that I found you stay
    And let me love you
    oh baby let me love you oh babe

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  16. To C. I agree with Anonymous who gave this response to you:

    "Dear C,

    "I don't doubt he still loves you, ....
    "I don't think it would be easy for a man to love a women who also loves another person....
    "So don't think that he doesn't care, maybe he just cared too much."

    --
    I'm in a similar situation.. wondering the same thing.. how could he leave?? did he not care?..

    he does. those moments between you were true. the timing and circumstances just were not right. But it's ok to hope. We all do. We can't help it. It's ok to treasure those moments too.

    Never regret something that once made you smile.

    I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason as well. The reason is just not always apparent.

    I hope your heart recovers faster than mine.

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  17. well written story, you were both inlove, it's just that you have the worse timing, and no matter how you deal with it you still loose.. the part when love has ended, you become strangers, this is so terrifying.. no matter how much you want to talk to that person, it's like a wall stands between you and you just can't.. you just can't be the same like before.. :(

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  18. I really admire your writings. .I love the feeling of reading it, it crashes me coz I can relate to it. Let's move on girl and pray thanks :)
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    ReplyDelete

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