Sunday, January 8, 2012

fault


unknown

I just found out the love of my life has a new girl, and this is what my fingers typed when I told myself to speak out my feelings.

"It's not his fault"

It's not his fault I fell for him. It's not his fault he was my perfect fit. At some point all the weight of guilt would fall on me, because it's my fault I fell for someone who didn't love me back. It's my fault I ache every night when I think of him, and it's my fault I gave him everything without regretting anything. It's my fault for feeling the most incredible, indescribable, immense love towards him. It's all my fault. And I'm paying for it.

34 comments:

Nickz40 said...

Awww :-(

Marcia said...

This is literally the story of my life. He was the perfect one for me, yet I left him for the person I like and didn't love me back. At the end, it's all my fault.

Such a tragic mess.

Anonymous said...

Life is shit

Anonymous said...

It's not your fault
http://freeluckyeasy.blogspot.com/

Marushka said...

This is too true to words, and hits very close to home. I know one day you will find someone who will feel that love in return.

Marushka said...

This is too true to words, and hits very close to home. I know one day you will find someone who will feel that love in return.

Sophie said...

My mum said something to me last night -


Forgive those who insult you . Belittle you or take you for granted. But more than this... forgive yourself for allowing them to hurt you.

Anonymous said...

It's nobody's fault.

Anonymous said...

not your fault, love happens and all we can do is move on, it hurts now and it will be hard, time heals all and when you find the one to love you back the way you should be loved, this will be just a stepping stone that you will remember. just stay strong, you'll be okay, i promise, ive been there.

Anonymous said...

Story of my life. I know how much it hurts. Stay strong.

I do, I do. said...

It was never your fault. You did what you felt like. Why regret?

Anonymous said...

the ache will go away I swear.

karmajustfar said...

You are so right.

I think when we pour ourselves into another by investing time and energy that is not equally returned, it's no one's fault but our own :-(

Life is not like the movies, not at all.

Anonymous said...

I feel like going on a camping trip with you.

Anna said...

It is not your fault. It's no ones fault.
When I read this post I could relate to the first lines. But when you started to put the blame on yourself, my heart said NO!.

Please don't do that to yourself. Please don't hurt yourself like that. Love yourself like you loved him.

No one is to blame for the love you felt towards him, for the hurt you feel when you're alone. You just have to accept it and find a way to move on. My way was (and still is) to write. I write my thoughts and emotions and it helps alot. I keep my own private online journal where I post - communicate - everything that I am. The sadness, the pain, the beauty, the love, the inspiration. Things I think about, beautiful things I notice.

Read this and maybe you'll get inspired too;

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-journaling-tips-to-help-you-heal-grow-and-thrive/?utm_source=The+Tiny+Buddha+List&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=8f3cfd0681-RSS_WEEKLY_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN

Melwa said...

beautifully written.

clara said...

Oh, honey.. Someday you will find another boy who is your perfect match, who's hand will fit perfectly in yours. I promise. So dry your tear and be strong, it's going to be ok, eventually.. And it's NOT your fault. You can't decide who your heart is going to pick, you just can't. So don't blame yourself. It only hurts more then.. Sending you some thoughts from a cold and snowy sweden. Love.

Jixuan said...

I feel you :(

Anonymous said...

Imagine if you felt love like this for this guy who was not for you..the love you will feel for the one who will love you back.
It will be amazing.

the best part of my day... said...

Heartache is so intense and feels at times - so endless.
Cheers.

Mell said...

I can relate.

Ana Magdalena said...

hellow, I just found your blog and I think its lovely.

www.therecordologist.blogspot.com

Ana Magdalena said...

I remember feeling like this before, it lasted two years... until I met someone and finally decided that it was my time -to give love another chance. I have never been happier.

Joy Farber said...

I needed to read this. I've been following your blog for a little while, but never really felt moved to comment until I read this.
This is exactly my experience. It's not his fault I fell so hard for him. It's not his fault I've wanted him as long as I have. It does suck to experience unrequited love, but I've made the decision to continue to pursue the other parts of my life that bring me joy, and as luck would have it- at least in this moment - it's not consuming me as much as it had been for a while.
Thank you for your blog. I very much enjoy reading it.

Feel free to stop by mine any time you'd like
http://littletreefarber.blog.com

Helena said...

Ouch.

Anonymous said...

I know your pain is real because I felt it too, when your heart hurts and is a struggle to breathe. It took me a year to begin to move on with my life. For your sake, I hope it does not take that long. I read a book, "It's called a Breakup because it's Broken". It helped me.

I love your blog.

Jill said...

This is so bittersweet.

Anonymous said...

xxxx

Kayla said...

STOP IT. Im going through the same exact thing and for the past few days I felt the same way but in reality it is not our faults. We gave our absolute all to these guys and its their fault for leaving. If they cant notice how good they have it thats too bad. They'll come back and we'll have the power in our hands to choose. Keep your head up honey.

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TJ said...

I can relate cuz I was on the other end of this being the cause but I eventually had to realize things don't always go your way. Never regret anything because we all have to fall in love with somebody some day testing it out is the only way we can get who we are really looking for even if the experience ends in hurt

www.comereal.weebly.com

Anonymous said...

We can't blame anyone but ourselves for loving that person and putting ourselves in that much pain.

The only thing we can do is stay strong and hope that we can move on.

Patricia said...

My boyfriend just broke up with me..and i'm like shit, i don't know how to live, how to study, how to go for milk to shop..i can't imagine my life without him..when i read this i started to cry. i actually feel your pain in my chest, i wouldn't stand him with some other girl..who eats breakfast with him, looking for him when he is working hard and have this funny face..i know that will come same day, but i rather die then watch it

stay stron, i hope you find someone who will give you so much love that he became your new world

Anonymous said...

Its been 6 months since the same thing has happened to me. Still have a huge hole in my chest, still cant breathe. I'm giving myself a year to heal and hopefully it takes no longer than that. Loving someone who doesn't love you back is the most indescribable pain a person could feel. I hope things pick up for you and get better, along with all the other ladies here who are in pain.
much love.
www.journeytogenuinehappiness.blogspot.com