Monday, September 12, 2011

universal truths about love

universal truths about love love photo love image, http://weheartit.com/entry/14669248
ph: weheaertit

I've found there are very universal truths about love...

It will happen when you least expect it.
Like discovering something awful sounding/looking food tastes yummy, or that that taco you had a few hours ago gave you food poisoning.

Example, I joined a dating site looking for friends. Before you beat me to it let me say, “Who the hell joins a dating site looking for friends?!”

Well, this girl of course! *Points thumbs at self*

I’ve met a few people whom I’m now friends with from there. Then I decided to meet with this witty chap one day, and unbeknownst to me, I received a shiny new boyfriend! He came complete with such amenities and features like an education, operational brain, and good sense of humor. I lie to you not when I say he looked at me one night and said, ‘you’re so my girlfriend’, then we were a couple.

It felt like receiving a present you didn’t exactly want at Christmas, like a pair of socks or new underwear. Then you totally appreciate it, the next day or someday, when you realized your laundry is not clean or you wore holes through all your socks and undergarments. GREAT FEELING!

Despite trying, sometimes you can’t help who your heart attaches itself to.
Some women like Prada bags, some chicks dig Vera Bradley, others like hobo bags … personally I have a soft spot for ugly purses. I own one that looks like I pulled the wooly upholstery off a 70’s couch and lined the sides with metallic green material that must have been recycled from a pair of 80’s hooker platform boots.

The thing is we fall for who we fall. My MO is usually funny nerdy guys and chicks with a pompous streak. The mind is so sexy; too bad the ones I meet come with this complex! I’ve fallen for the good looking ones, the bigger ones, the shy ones, the ones with 10,000 holes in their face, jerks, clingers, dependents, independents, and people with more problems than a college calculus final. It just happens.

It’s hard to control the velocity and trajectory of love.
Even aerospace engineers screw up sometimes, and they went to school for this stuff. Google NASA goofs or mess-ups and you’ll see. If you can achieve control over this, you are probably the romantic emotions equivalent of an angry birds master.

Some of my relationships built over years, then faded slowly. Others were quick to ignite and burned out just as fast. My last relationship took a whole week after meeting to officially be a couple. It also went downhill quick too. Like I said, uncontrollable unless you are some sort of zen master.

Love can change.
Like Baskin Robin ice cream flavors, there are many types of love, and the flavors can change often! One minute it can be an intense all-consuming love, and the next minute it’s gone completely off the menu. It can switch between and from intense love, friendly love, deeply passionate love, caring love, devoted love, etc.

I also find that things always change after the ‘honeymoon’ period is over and you really get to know who you’ve fallen in love with. Sure, sometimes it’s good change. You realize you love the true person they are, and maybe you think how they organize their underwear by color, year, and make is really awesome ( Hey whatever rocks your socks! I won’t judge!). Other times you realize their personality and little quirks, like being berated for not decompressing all the air out of the bag of a loaf of bread, will drive you up a wall.

Love will change you.
Emotional connections with people affect who we are and how we act. It can make us a better person, and it can drag us down into a hole; thus turn us into something we want or don’t want to become. This can be both a conscious thing and sub conscious. That is the nature of the beast.

Remember what I said above about the bread? Yeah, it’s one that happened with an ex. I realized after a while I started to squeeze the air out of the bread bag to appease my partner. Sure this was a good habit, it really does help keep the bread fresh longer, but this carried over to other things too. I realized I was changing myself, and I eventually became someone I hated. It’s like that LCD sound system song, ‘I Can Change’. The guy basically falls in love with a person because of who they were, then realizes their partnership is dissolving, so he changes himself to make them fall in love, or stay in love with him.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve gathered great hobbies, habits, lessons and insight into myself from love. Just make sure you define how love changes you.

Love brings both happiness and pain.
While love can be expressed through physical acts, Love is not physical, it’s emotional.

One night I got together with a girl just started dating. Oddly enough she wanted to exchange stories about scars. She pointed to one on her knee, and told me how her brother threw an authentic aboriginal boomerang at her. When it was my turn I pointed to a place on my arm.

She cried, “There isn’t a scar there!” I told her,” yes there is … but it’s not one you can see. “

I told her a memory from a past relationship that caused me pain and afterwards I explained to her that ,“ the most painful scars aren’t the ones you can’t see, they’re the emotional ones.”

Then she pointed to another spot without a scar and asked about that one. I told her the story of the first night she asked me on a date and how happy it made me feel to be wanted by this beautiful woman. So I said that, “ the same goes for happiness, we can see it physically expressed through actions but we can’t see the emotion. We can only walk around with these great memories and share them with others.”

Just remember, the memories we remember best are the ones attached to great emotion. I think that’s why love affects us so profoundly. We are human; we experience joy, laughter, sadness and hurt … but we heal, we move forward and we still love regardless. That is a wonderful thing.

Sometimes love is not enough.
Ever get to point in a relationship where you go, “ I love you but if I have to be around you one more second I’m going to do you bodily harm?” I’ve had a few of those … everyone has had those moments.

Love isn’t perfect, we will all have our bad days, drive each other crazy, and have disagreements. But when a relationship between two people goes bad, then sometimes love really isn’t enough.

Sometimes it hits you that the person you love may not feel the same for you, makes you unhappy, might cheat on you, prevent you from being you, hurts you in anyway continuously; despite how much you love them, you need to realize you might have to walk away. If the person you are with isn’t happy, or you are hurting them more by being with them, then sometimes you need to let them go as well.

I loved a man very much, and he loved me as well. Sure, he was kind, fun, smart, someone I enjoyed hanging out with, but things just started to fall apart. I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t me. I got tired of trying to make things work. So one day, enough was enough. It hurt, sometimes it still does.

Walking away from someone you love hurts. Sometimes letting go of someone one who loves you hurts too. You’ve got to do what’s best for you, and sometimes them. Love can be as easy as holding a hand, and kissing someone goodnight. It also can be as hard as walking away knowing your heart only beats for them.

Love is more than just a romantic relationship.
I bet you there is something out there you love that’s not just a partner, a boyfriend, a girlfriend. It can be the job you do, a hobby, a friend, a pet, a child, maybe you love collecting stuffed llamas ( who am I to say what you do or don't love). The Greeks had names for the different types of love, because love isn’t confined to just one definition or situation.

I love art, I love socializing with others, I love traveling, I love Ben and Jerry’s (ok maybe not love it but like it a lot!). I say love because these are things so deeply embedded in me … I just don’t like them, I really do love them with about as much and most times more than a partner. This is the type of love that is life devotion, and makes you who you are.

At the end of the day, we may lose a romantic partner or we may find one, but remember there are other things and people you love. The most important love of your life you’ll ever have is love for yourself. Love you.

And accept that love is.

-Eeka

38 comments:

  1. http://freeluckyeasy.blogspot.com/

    read, enjoy, forward

    ReplyDelete
  2. This has to be one of the best posts I've read here on Le Love.

    The author of this post, in my opinion, was absolutely brilliant.

    I agree with these truths, and also have tried to convey them to other people.
    However, people will always believe what they want to believe, so not everyone will agree.
    But I believe in these truths, and it's so refreshing to see someone else who has similar views.

    Sure each love is different and unique, but there are basic principles that define love in all it's glory.
    Thank you for this post, I enjoyed reading it immensely.

    xox

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  3. I agree that this is one of the best posts on Le Love. This author is clearly educated and writes with style, poise, and voice. I am often annoyed with submissions that are rapt with grammar errors, "text" typing, and other immature authorship markings. I truly enjoyed both the writing of this post as well as the beautiful and insightful ideas. Thanks to the author for taking the time to share her lovely words with others.

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  4. It's best if someone who hasn't broken the hearts of 5 boys by sleeping with 30 others by the age of 19 quit trying to write about love. It's clearly all about your feelings with you.

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  5. another truth about love: love isn't like socks you constantly shuffle. Love is about seeing the world through the eyes of the person you love and actually caring about their well being.

    Maybe you'll "work on yourself" to one day discover this mysterious truth.

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  6. inspiring post. contains a lot of my tiny emotions and small part of my stories in it

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  7. I have read your blog for over 2 years now, but I have never comment any of your posts. And I wonder why I never had, because I really do think that you should tell how much you like something to those who does it. So now, after 2 years: I really like your blog!! Thank you for this wonderful page.

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  8. This post might be the best post ever written here! The writer is simply a genious. Thank you.

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  9. BEST POST.. HANDS DOWN

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  10. http://nonusitato.blogspot.com/ pleasee visit!

    And this was a ma a zi n g !

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  11. This is how Im feeling! You have to know when the party's over, to keep your self-esteem and know when to walk away. Thank you.

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  12. wow....stunning....just great! and sooo sad on the other side...
    i'm reading your blog for a long time now, and i also read some other blogs but this post is just WOW!can't find a word for it....i'm in love for a long time but with the wrong man, and this really helps my soul....
    <3 looooooove it and love your blog....

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  13. really funny tone. love the writing- i think it could be improved without the scar story, a little too cheesy. but over all fantastic piece! please keep writing eeka.

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  14. Best posts in Le love. Cheers! it was all true. :)

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  15. simply love the way you wrote it (:
    it kinda helps me, i'm confused,
    and this posts express the love from what it is, you know?!

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  16. Thank you. this post made me think about things in a different light. One of the greatest pieces i have read. I love this.

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  17. I love this post. Sometimes love isn't enough, it just speaks for me in every way possible at this moment, it's me and it's hard.

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  18. Super love this post! Very inspiring and makes me feel grateful for the love in my life.

    these are perfect for the lovers artworks I found online at http://www.theartofhappiness.net/lovers_paintings_sculptures.php

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  19. www.sarahbriannasmith.blogspot.com

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  20. Nice concept, hope it may change the way of thought about Love.

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  21. thought provoking post. love it!

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  22. I starred this on my Google reader a few months ago when I began to realize that my relationship of almost four years was going downhill. It ended a week ago after four years and twenty-five days, and having this to come back to has been a godsend. Thank you.

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  23. Very good post.

    However, I do completely disagree that 'Sometimes love is not enough'...

    If one knows and accepts what real love actually is, unconditional love; it is forever. If you are able to walk away, then that is not real love. You fight till the death for real love. Real love is forever. It is unconditional; meaning throughout all... despite everything. Always.
    That is real love. And real love will always be enough.
    Well, if we are lucky enough to find it.
    And brave enough to find the courage to live it...

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  24. I don't believe you are being honest with yourself when you say you joined a "dating" site to just meet "people." How many women friends did you meet on a dating site?

    ReplyDelete
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