Monday, August 1, 2011

happy almost 1st year

happy almost 1st year love photo love image,
ph: weheartit

It's been a year since he and broke up and this is a letter that I wish I could send me but can't.

Dear J,

If you asked me last year where I saw myself in a year, I can tell you that this, all of this wasn't what I had in mind. The way things are in general are nothing like I thought they would be. People I've kept close to my heart have now become complete strangers. And people who were once strangers now mean so much to me. This past year has gone by so quickly. It almost feels like nothing has changed and yet when I slow down and think about it, nothing is the same. It's hard to believe how much can change in just a year. This time last year, things were completely different. I was completely different.

We've broken up for a year now. Right now, we're more than acquaintances but less than friends and maybe that's why it feels so strange when I see your name flash on my screen telling me you would like to start a conversation. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy our conversations. Hearing from you always puts a smile on my face. Simple one liners about how your day went. It's nice to know that I crossed your mind but it feels like whenever we do talk, there's a set of rules that we both have to adhere to. It feels like we can only talk about certain things, non-threatening things. We can't talk about our past because it's threatening. It makes me as uncomfortable as it makes you. We can only talk about things like the weather, school, music. I can't and I won't ask you about your girlfriend and you won't ask me anything personal. I feel like I don't have the right to tell you that I'm happy that you've found someone new, that she seems really lovely, with her long silky hair and sweet smile. I feel like I don't want the right to ask you anything personal and I think you feel the same. I remember you used to say that we're similar people and that I always knew what you were thinking. And that's the problem isn't it? Similar people can never get it right.

I censor myself a lot whenever we talk. Like when you told me how stressed out and sleep deprived you are because of your October exam. I wanted to say 'It's so typical of you to frustrate over the little things, things that you don't have to stress our over. You're smart, you'll do perfectly fine.' But instead, all I said was 'take care of yourself.' I guess I did that because I realized that if I could notice that little detail about you, then so can your girlfriend who has been with you for a much longer time than I did.

It's not that I'm not over you. I've moved on. We both have. It's just that a small part of me still misses you. Sometimes I find myself wishing that you would call and ask to see me. Nothing dramatic or elaborate - just us meeting up. Just the sound of your voice saying "I'm sorry, I miss you."

Happy almost 1st year.

Love always,


  1. This is so sweet

    Check out my blog for some similar stories and pics guys [:

  2. Very touching... Nostalgic moments...
    Similar experiences - please visit

  3. This is bittersweet, touching but bitter. And it sounds a lot with my own life. I never know how people can be friends with their ex's, so I just kinda avoid him. It either hurts too much or just too awkward to talk anymore.

  4. This really hit home for me. so bittersweet it is..i can relate. thank you for this wonderful post

  5. sounds really sad :(
    sry for asking but why did you broke up?

    Greetz from germany


  7. so sad !

    check out my blog

  8. this made me cry, a few days ago me and my ex bf could of been 4yrs together but unfortunately everything ended a year ago, and to heard the last part of ur story made me teared :(

  9. Bittersweet...

    It's bitter as need to censor conversation and circumstances changed. Sweet cause still meeting each other.

    I can never do that, meeting the ex.

  10. Amazing text... I Loved the last part, it was really touching. I wish you'll find your way back to each other because you actually seemed to be a perfect couple.

  11. Thank u for sharing this!

  12. This is so so so so beautiful. You've got the essence of my heart written down better than I ever could. Thank you for writing this. <3

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  14. This post is so truthful and amazing to read. I went through something similiar and wish i could still see him. I hope you both will figure it out, you seem meant for each other.

  15. Very touching but sad story. Hope not everyone will experience with this.

  16. its very nice..m already missing someone whom i loved the most...we also broke up last yr...coz of the same reason u had...n now happily living with my boyfrnd...whoz the best person i have evr met..
    i dnt regret for our reltionship...and even sometime i feel like calling him n say that i miss him...but i cant...n even he doesnt...we have moved on...thats the life...we ve to take it as it is :)


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