Wednesday, July 13, 2011
in like with you.
The first night we met, I was automatically comfortable around you. It was like I had known you for a long time. It wasn’t awkward, and whenever we had both stopped talking, we didn’t feel the need to fill the silences with stupid small talk. The first time we kissed was like one of those cheesy romantic kisses in chick flicks. I want to puke rainbows as I close my eyes and reminisce, but here we go:
We were lying on my bed, watching tv, when I felt your fingers run up and down my arm and hand. You pulled me close, causing my hair to fall in front of my face. I smiled at you, and as you smiled back, you brushed my hair to the side and tucked it behind my ear. You put your hand behind the back of my head and pulled me even closer to kiss me.
Was it cheesy and cliché? Absolutely. Was it perfect? Absolutely.
I really like you, but sometimes I can’t help but remember that time you disappeared from my life for 2 months with no explanation or anything. We just had started hanging out a lot, and then nothing. I was hurt and embarrassed, because I couldn’t figure out what I did to you to cause you to not talk to me anymore. I felt so stupid for letting my guard down around you. For those 2 months of not having you in my life, my heart dropped into my stomach whenever I’d pass a car that looked just like yours. I felt pathetic and sickened that I still missed you. I missed the smell of you, the way you would pull me close just to look at me, how you would run your fingers up and down my back as I would fall asleep in your arms, how your beautiful hazel eyes would crinkle and light up whenever you smiled, seeing a text from you during the day just to see how my day was going. I missed all of that, and so much more during that time. Eventually I thought of you less as time went on, and I accepted the fact that you were pretty much just another guy passing through in my life. I deleted every trace of you from my life, and moved on. Even though I still thought of you at times, I was honestly ok with it.
But guys have a funny way of worming their way back into your life once you’ve worked so hard to forget about them…
You’re back now. And yes, I brushed it off. Even though you apologized multiple times and I know you’re truly sorry, it doesn’t mean that you can pull that again, because if it were to happen again, I’m done with you. The reason you stopped talking to me was because you were afraid that your baggage would make me not want to talk to you anymore, but here I am. I’m still here, and I’m not going anywhere. You make me happy. In fact, I’m the happiest I’ve been in awhile. You tell me all the time how much you really like me and all I can manage is to smile and blush like a freakin’ 6 year old girl. There’s still so much I don’t know about you, but I love learning things about you. Falling asleep in your arms makes the crappiest day into a good day. The way you dance like a fool in my kitchen when I make you grilled cheese at 12:30 at night makes me like you so much more. I could go down the endless list, but you get the picture. I don’t know if you’re my soul mate, but I can’t imagine my life without you. In love? No. In like? Yes, very much so.