Sunday, January 23, 2011
that wonderful night
We shared the perfect night. I actually think that it was one of the best nights of my life. It wasn’t perfect because you’re such a great guy or because I was in love with you or anything, it was perfect because I really needed that at that time. I had spent too many days, weeks, months thinking that I would never be loved, no one I was interested in would ever show any interest in me, and then you came along. Me and my friend J were on a trip to London, we met up with her friend S at a pub and he had brought his friend, A. And from being introduced to you, shaking your hand and drowning in your blue eyes, to kissing goodbye to never see you again, was just perfect. Like a scene from a movie, or a chapter in a book.
At the pub we were sitting and chatting, drinking beer, I was sitting next to you. Your feet touched mine and neither of us moved our feet back. We had barely talked to each other but I could feel you press your leg against mine, so we stayed like that. With entangled legs, occasional long stares into your infinitely deep blue eyes, flirty smiles and heavy heartbeats. Even writing this makes my heart pound faster. Anyway, as we left the pub you took my hand, and it was all so natural. We stopped on the way to S's house for some kisses, and you and your British accent were so very charming. So we spent the night kissing and cuddling on a mattress on S's floor, you touching my hair, me listening to your heartbeats.
I replay this scene in my head quite often, mostly because I am so very fond of it and never want to forget it. But mostly I hope to relive it soon again, but then with someone else, someone I love.
So I just want to thank you, A, thank you for that wonderful night. Because thanks to that night I now believe that I some day will fall in love for real. Not with you, but now I know love can exist, even for me. I just have to be patient.