Sunday, October 17, 2010

i still have no idea


you wore denim pants with holes in them and played in a band. i spent night after night looking at you through the crowd feeling worse and worse because you never noticed me. you were high and low in the room, mingling, laughing, smoking, flirting, and i was always on the side trying my best to catch every glimpse i could of you without you noticing

often i would sit outside for a while when the nervousness got to me, and one night you came out and sat down, you asked if i was ok, and it made me so nervous i couldn't even answer, i just started walking away from you, but you followed me asking again and again and finally i blurted out that i couldn't even talk to you right now because you are too much. too much smiles and looks and lips

you touched my hair and then my shoulder, and we started walking towards the beach, i didn't say much but you kept telling me about your family, about music you liked and your night so far, and i could hardly hear anything you said because i was too afraid of making a fool out of myself

and all i could really hear was the sound of your feet against the asphalt, the rocks and then the sand beneath us. we sat on the grass and none of us said a word, you touched my face. i was trembling. i wanted to kiss you so badly, but didn't dare. you told me i was pretty, that i made you nervous. i didn't believe a word you said. the energy in and around us was almost surreal. it knocked me over

i said i wanted to swim and you looked a little scared and that calmed me down a bit. you followed and soon we were in with water to our waists and you were so cold i could see your goosebumps, but you smiled anyway and we just stood there, and stared at each other for what felt like a century

and that was it

i still have no idea what that meant

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