Tuesday, August 3, 2010

i'll always love you, no matter what


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Our first looks at each other, our first conversation, our first kiss. Our first text message and our first real talk. I'll never forget. Never forget the feelings and how perfect everything was. We could be awake and talk about everything until the next morning, we could talk in the cellphone for hours without having any words left to say and we could lay down for a very long time and just stare into each others eyes without saying anything. It was love. Real love.

We became closer and closer and when i thought it couldn't be better he whispered the three most beautiful words in my ear. He whispered "I love you" with a tear in his eye and said that he never thought he could have this feelings for anyone. It was the best moment of my life. I was in love. Terrible in love.
We talked about how our apartment would look like, what name our baby should have and that we are going to have a little kitten. Then we laughed for hours about what we just said.
We talked about everything and we laughed, cried and did things together. That was life. You were life. You were the best boyfriend ever and everything would have been meaningless if you weren't in my life. I would go to the moon, travel round the world and count all the stars. Just for you.

We were so equal you and me, but different at the same time. We had something that other people just could dream of.

I'll never forget how you said I was beautiful when i looked the most terrible than ever. And I'll never forget how special you made me feel. You had girlfriends before but I was the only one you fell in love with and I was the only one you ever cared about.

Every time I got a text message from you my heart stopped and every time I saw you called me I got a smile on my lips. You were mine.

But things changed. I can't count the sleepless nights and how many tears that have fell down on my cheek. I can't count how many times my heart got in thousand pieces and when everything felt meaningless. I have been so loved by you, but you have hurt me so badly at the same time. I never thought we would come to this part in our relationship were we don't show any respect and neither can live with or without each other. But now we stand here and don't know what's right or wrong. The only thing I know is that I'll always love you, no matter what.

44 comments:

  1. I've been exactly where you are. It's bittersweet to know that someone else is there.

    Be strong, love yourself, and don't cage in your pain. What's meant to happen will happen.

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  2. I feel your pain, you are not alone <3

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  3. I've drawn strength from knowing I'm not the only one who feels like this. Thank you.

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  4. You've put into such beautiful words what I too am feeling right now.

    The pain is almost worse than death.

    But what will be, will be. We will get through this.

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  5. I know exactly how you feel. It is so hard to look at someone you used to love so much with all your heart and to look at them like they are a complete stranger. You would do anything to just rewind time and see what exactly went wrong.

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  6. I feel the exact same way. Please be strong. That's the only way we can stand back up. The pain was excruciating and trying to peel yourself off from the person you have loved so so much seems even inhumane.

    I'm still trying to get by everyday little by little.

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  7. We were exactlly the same, even down to the tear in his eye, im guessing your guy also had that tiny tremour in his voice that contained more meaning than any words could have?
    And we were our own worlds, we didnt need anyone else. but you know what they say, all good things must come to an end and we have been apart for a year and a half. and it has taken that long to get over him.
    I was only a few months ago that I could say that with confidence, I wasnt dreaming of him any more. and thoughts of him wernt bringing me to tears. So it passes. Its hard and you will hurt, but it passes.

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  8. Love the post!
    Please visit my blog,
    http://fashionfreakout-frankie.blogspot.com/

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  9. It is always difficult when you think about what you've been and how it is now. There are moments where you think these are difficulties and we should keep strong & then there are moments where you feel as if you had a good run in the relationship and that its just best to end things because people wont change unless they want to. I just hope things work out for the best.

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  10. Oh this story is so recognizable.
    Feels like you're talking about my situation.
    Very touching.
    xoxo

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  11. I am feeling the same as you.
    Be strong,
    a

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  12. oh, how i know what you are feeling. I am currently blogging about getting over someone i am in love with, each day is unbelievable pain- but i learn so much about myself. i know that addiction all too well, and how scary it is when everything begins to change. stay strong.

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  13. I believe this happens to most of us here. It happened to me too. And this story relates to me closely. No matter how far we are from each other, how stranger we got, I know, deep down in my heart, that I will always love her.

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  14. been there, done that.
    i guess its just time to move on this painful path.

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  15. I'm so sorry for your pain, but this will make you stronger &more cautious in love x

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  16. thank you for this amazing story.
    it was like reading about my own relationship right now. the first sections though, those about how perfect evrything was. im so afraid my story will turn out just like yours. but i guess thats life. anyways, i wish you luck. <3

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  17. This story is paralell to my own. I cannot even believe it. Thank you so much for sharing. It is so good to know that others go through what I do.

    Passionate, crazy love....but for some reason all we do is hurt each other.

    It's confusing.

    But you said everything just right.

    Thanks.

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  18. Thank you everyone. Your words means a lot. It's nice to know there are people who feels the same way.
    I really hope everything will be alright. I know it will, even if it hurts for the moment.

    Thank you all :)

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  19. i have felt this way many times but time heals and slowly you forget and move on.

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  20. Flowers they don't always bloom
    And even when they do
    They're not meant to last forever <3
    Chin up sweetheart
    x x x

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  21. I felt that way for someone and still do..but he probably won't know and I don't want to tell him because he hurts me more than I could possibly imagine. It's really hard and I think about him every second but there's nothing else I can do..

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  22. Been there as well, and i know how that shit felt. It's like you don't know how to start again with your life without the man you used to love, cared so much, and thought about every count of the day. It's hard to imagine how you will love again the way you've loved him before. And it's a lot harder to realize that you thought you're over him, but you're completely not! It's a mess feeling, but probably that's how love goes sometimes that you have to embrace every wasted love story you've encountered and the soon to come and learn from them.

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  23. Thanks. I'm reading my own story here. I have wanted to blog it , for memory purpose , but I dare not. It hurts so much. The ONE I thought would be the ONE , breaks my heart. Someone said , sometimes 2 persons in love wont stay forever. It does bring me tears , even after 1 yr and 3 months apart but I'm moving on.

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  24. I thought I was reading my story. Thank you.

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  25. I've cried myself to sleep the last two nights feeling what you are feeling as well, I am so confused, because I am tired of being hurt what only want him. I've realized that he has taken advantage of me, and he doesn't care the way he once did, but it seems to fade when I think of all the good times we've shared. He even proposed to me on the beach, and now I am starting to believe that it meant nothing. I hope things turn out for the best in your relationship. Stay strong, keep calm, and carry on.

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  26. Thank you for putting this into words.

    I honestly hope that you'll learn how to stop loving him and move on to someone who can love you even more. You deserve it. We all deserve it.

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  27. exactly how i feel. i still love him but we can never be again.

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  28. Beautiful, I feel exactly the same except for the last part. I love my boyfriend to death and by reading this I realize how much I miss him when he's on vacation.

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  29. Exactly what I am going through right now...starting today. How it happened I don't know. I just want to go back to the start. I hate this..

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  30. This modelgirl that i found the other day (even though she's a model she seems to have to most beautiful heart as well). ;) Made the MOST beautiful post about love the other day, made me cry;

    http://modellbloggen.se/art/184837/james/

    link to the post..
    Real love.

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  31. I'm right there. word for word.

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  32. you just put words on what so many people have felt, and I'm sorry for what happened. I really like this blog, don't know who is writin it, but, I just can't stop readin it. It's like a book that you can't put away to close your eyes and sleep.
    please don't stop writing!

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  33. I can't even imagine how this must feel. But - I'm sorry to say this -- but you've been in love. L-O-V-E. You have felt it, tasted it, seen it, lived it. I haven't. Never. Ever. I've only dreamt it.

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  34. Image credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sensing-owls/

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  35. allowing yourself to love someone is the second most courageous thing you can do. the first is to realize and accept that the person you are, or were, with isn't right for you. breaking away from the bond you once shared with someone else is one of the most difficult things to do. you start to think back to all the good times, and you start to miss the comfort of being able to rely on that person, and you miss your inside jokes, and you ultimately want them all to yourself.

    but you have to look deep within yourself. are they what you truly need? if your answer is no, then you are in my shoes as you need to be strong. he was amazing in the beginning. but things changed. and now that its over, things are hard, but its right. and i'll be stronger every morning, and happier each day night. because im doing what is best for me. and so should everyone else.
    just look within.

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  36. I feel you, every single word.

    Love gives you pleasure,
    And love brings you pain!
    And yet, when both are gone,
    Love will still remain.

    I wish the best for my ex too... I guess love has the power to wash away the altruism within human beings.

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  37. beautiful. i cried reading this - my feelings exactly. i feel your pain, girl. hang in there.

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  38. i swear i wrote this. i swear. everything is what happened with me. every single part.

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  39. i love the way you lie

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  40. The dude is completely just, and there is no suspicion.

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