Friday, June 11, 2010

my best friend


My best friend is getting married in 4 months and 9 days...128 to be exact.

This is the time when I am supposed to be outrageously excited. Jumping for joy. Trying on bridesmaids dresses. Helping pick out wedding decor. Going with her to try on dresses. This is the time when, as her maid of honor, I drop anything and everything to help her plan the most important day of her life.

There are just a few problems with that.
1. I am over 1,000 miles away.
2. I do not think this marriage is a good idea.

So, what's a girl to do?

I called her, I told her how I felt. I said, "S, I think this is a mistake. I love you so much, and I know I don't know *him*, but I just don't have a good feeling about it."

I have known her since my junior year of high school. She was a year older than me, and I thought the world of her. I still do. We have seen each other through love, through heartbreaks (a great many), through death, through new life, through drunken mistakes, through the best times of our lives. I will see her through this stage of her life.

She is my better half. My sister. My partner in crime. My strength. My role model. My safe place. My best friend. I have never loved someone, not even the boyfriends, with the strength with which I love her.

How am I supposed to give my best friend away to a man who hardly knows her? Who knows a mere fraction of the things I know about her?

I love her. That's how. I will go try on the dress and take tons of pictures. We will skype late into the night, and she already sends me texts about the planning. She has no idea what it takes to put on a wedding. I don't either, but it's something we're doing together.

I love you, best friend. And even though I don't know what this holds for you, I am by your side---forever.

(if you could see me, I'm doing the sign for I love you, all the way from Virginia.)


  1. Just be there for her and wush her the best.

  2. Yeah, just be there for her and wish her all the best. Somehow, I'm in the same situation as you are now except that my best friend is not getting marry but in a relationship with a guy that is not good. A mistake for her but well, I can't do much but to wish her all the best!

  3. Stories like this make me appreciate my best friend even more bc I know she'd do that for me.

  4. Im confused.
    Do you love her as your best friend or are you actually IN love with her?

  5. i've a best friend that is also like a sister to me, i also love her more than any boyfriend i've ever had and i can imagine how immensely painful that would be, to feel so hopeless and only want the very best for her. For her sake and yours, i hope you're wrong about him. good luck + love.

  6. was once in your situation.. they did get married and in the end, he cheated on her.. no matter what, just be there for her.. :)

  7. Even if this marriage is a mistake - I think it's hers to make.

    And the greatest gift you could give her - that you are giving her! - is letting her make the mistake. And I believe that this is love, in it purest form.

  8. I think , you love her so much that you can't let her go , maybe you're jealous from that man that he's gonna take her away from you .

  9. This is a beautiful entry and I like the fact you know you should stand by her side. I can imagine it being very difficult for her if she'd lose you for marrying another person she loves (just differently). Both of you have to accept that this is the way it is and focus on the power of your long friendship above anything else.
    I love your blog.


  11. wow sounds eerily familiar. My best friend got married years ago to a boy she didnt know well. We were friends since..junior year in high school...we are from ..virginia. i swear i didnt write this. haha.

    they did end up breaking up after two years. and it was sad. im still hurt for her. it was not a good decision to marry - they were so incredibly different - but of course it's not our decision to make. and we stand by no matter what. that's what soul sisters do

  12. I found this today, it's perfect timing. My cousin is getting married and I hate the guy... so I sent this to her in respond email about me being her maid of honor

  13. Any girl would be lucky to have a friend as loving as you.

  14. she'll wake up when he cheats on her

  15. You are such a good friend! You're being honest, and you're supporting her too. I think the best thing to do is just let her be, and have confidence in her this once. You've already told her how you feel... there's no reason to bring her down especially when you don't have a valid reason to do so, right? :)

  16. wow.. this is so lovely. She is very lucky to have you as her best friend :)

  17. people do meet and fall in love fast. It happens all the time. a bad feeling might just be about the change, the end of an era of sorts it does not ness mean you have a gut feel about this guy.
    you are bound to feel displaced on some level but you will still be the best of friends. the big one will be when she has children. she will go to baby land for at least a year but will come back :)
    No one embarks on a marriage knowing it will work. sometimes you don't think you will make the week. but it does not matter. a sucessful marriage can be short too. its a celebration of life as long as that love will last. relax and enjoy

  18. This really hits home because all my best girlfriends live in my hometown of Portsmouth, VA and they dont think the world of my man either... Great post!

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