Friday, June 25, 2010

it transcends explanation


The night we met, is and will always remain a bit of a blur in my mind. Dizzy. Drinking. Dancing. Drunk. Close to tears because I could tell that the person who I was with then wasn’t the person I should be with. In my blurry state, I started to realise that there should be more to love then looking at the stars together, watching the fireworks and kissing in the back of limousines and spas. He wasn’t right for me, and I knew it deep down but my imagination build him up into being someone worthy of my love. We met eyes, we’d heard each others names, maybe passed each other by in the street before. We kept coming back to each other, as if drawn by something unexplainable. We shared a J├Ąger bottle, then you tied your bow tie round my neck. I wandered off. I lost your bow tie. You got angry. You got more drunk and forgot you were angry. we walked back to my friends house. For miles and miles, it seemed. We arrived at a primary school. The door to the principles office was left unlatched. We sat in the principles office. We had a bottle of vodka and wrote messages on the principles desk in shaky writing. Then we heard a strange sound. The security alarm. We ran away. Faster and faster. Down on the beach we walked for miles and miles. A gap between us, you knew the other boy I was with. We watched the stars and heard the surf. We got separated and you couldn’t find your way back from the house. We were close after this. inseparable. I bought you a new bowtie. A light blue one. We were together, but, always just friends. You were there for me to get over how I’d let myself fall for the wrong guy. You were still nursing a bruised and broken heart. I didn’t believe in love, but you convinced me that it was something wroth believing in. You made me want to believe in something – in wishing on shooting stars and being just friends. I thought that I just needed you as a friend. Just you. Nothing more. Nothing less. You were someone to share my secrets with and to cuddle up with when I was having trouble sleeping. You were someone who made me smile. I thought this was enough. It wasn’t anywhere near enough. One night, once again too much had been drunk, on both parts. We were together that night. In the closest way one can be with someone. I discounted all the other times I’d been with other boys. This was different from anything I’d ever know. You were better than whatever came before. Since then, we have been together. You make me cry just about everyday. You know just how to wind me up and you get annoyed over silly things. We have our flaws and our arguments, but you were the one who taught me how to love. I love your hugs. I love your enchanting smile. I love how cute you look when you’re angry. I love how you pull my jumper when you want to put your arm around me.. I love how you’re shy. I love it when I can feel you smiling when we kiss. I love our snuggles. I love how you make me laugh five minutes after making me cry... I just love you for you. I can’t explain why, it transcends explanation.
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