Wednesday, April 28, 2010
We first met when I was 14.
I was crossing the road, and you saw me.
You told your brother to stop the car, right there, in the middle of the road, came down, looked at me, smiled, gave me your card and said "Call me".
I wanted to, but I didn't.
The second time we met, was when I was 15.
I was with my cousins that day, watching the squatter houses getting torn down, and you were there.
You stood on the huge rock, and looked down at me.
I felt someone staring at me, so I turned to look.. and there you were, smiling at me but I looked away.
When I was about to leave, I saw you walking my way, but then the fireman that was there, came over to talk to me just a few seconds before you.. you looked at me, turned and left.
A few months later, we spoke for the very first time.
Yes, I decided to call you and our conversation lasted 2 hours.
We told each other our likes, dislikes, and found out that we had a lot in common.
The next week, I was walking back home, and I saw you on your scooter. With a girl. And you were holding her hand so tightly, it was as though you were never going to let go.
I reached home... sat down.. and all of a sudden...pain rushed through my entire body.. but I didn't cry.. all I could do was think to myself, why does this hurt so much? why did seeing him on his scooter with a girl hurt me so badly? why?
Then I realized.
Even after the first time we met, when you gave me your card, i couldn't stop thinking of you, and that smile of yours.
Did I fall in love? Maybe.
After that day, I saw you with her, everyday and so, I did what was best. I moved on.
5 years went by without thinking of you. I literally managed to block you out of my mind and my life, and life, was going pretty swell for me.
College started, new friends were made, and a loving boyfriend of 3 years was in my life. Life was a bliss.
Semester break came along, and I decided to head home for the month.. and one day, during a walk, I saw you... and you saw me.. you ran across the road and said "Hi!".. all i could do was smile.
Why couldn't I just turn and walk away? It was like my feet were glued to the ground the minute you smiled.
You asked how I was, and I said great.
The next question was "Boyfriend?" I answered "Yes".. you said "Oh" and walked away like you did everytime you heard something you didn't like.
I called out to you and said we can be friends and you smiled and agreed.
We started hanging out a lot. Movies, drinks, surfing, live band shows. You called me up one evening and said to come over to the usual place. i told you I'd be there in 10.
When i arrived, you were up on stage.. That was a normal thing, since you were in a band. You sang Faithfully by Journey and at the end, you said that it was for me.
What were you thinking?
what was I thinking?
I had a boyfriend.
Then I snapped back to my reality.
What was happening?
We said we'd be friends. But.. did something happen along the way?
When I woke up that night, I found you next to me. I got out of bed, on to the balcony, and had a cigarette. Shit. I had done something I swore never to do. cheat. Then you came out, and we had a huge argument. the next thing you did, made me blow up.
You called my boyfriend. and told him everything.
He left me. I left you. you sent me a text saying "I hate you", i replied with "Thank you for coming into my life and ruining everything and for making me so blinded that I actually slept with you"
I never heard from you again.
All I could think of after that was what the hell was i thinking? What in the world made me sleep with you? why did I throw away a perfectly good relationship for you? but I didn't put the blame on you. I blamed myself. for being so stupid.
10 years after that day, i'm happily married, with a beautiful daughter, and by the power of facebook, you found me. I accepted your friend request and then while chatting one day, you asked me, what happened to us.
You told me you never forgot me, how my hair smelt after being washed, how I laughed, how I made you happy, how you felt complete when I was next to you.
i told you I never forgot you either. especially your smile.
You said let's run away together. I said no. you're married. I'm married. that's the way it should be.
you said it wasn't.
you said we were soul-mates.
All i said was
"We are soul-mates that weren't meant to end up together. If we had started at the very beginning, we might have been together for a lifetime"
you said maybe in our next lifetime.
i told you that in our next lifetime, when you stop the car in the middle of the road, don't give me your card. just say "Will you be mine".
You agreed but said "I'll just say Will you marry me"
Yes. we are soul-mates, we're not together, but we never forgot one another.