Monday, March 1, 2010

someday


weheartit

I feel that i need to tell this to someone. Actually not just someone- but to everyone. Everyone who needs to hear this because I'm so sick of keeping my mouth shut about it.

My close friend has been going through a break with her boyfriend. I'm not even going to give her the title of calling it a break up because it wouldn't be fair to people who have actually been through a break up. They are completely predictable as a couple and it goes a little something like this. Girl and Boy love each other, girl get's annoyed with boy and wants to be single, OR boy feels like she isn't the one- so boy and girl fight a lot, and i mean A LOT- girl acts like a bitch, boy calls girl a bitch- and thus they end up in a break. However after a week, or a month tops, they're right back into their beautifully effed up relationship acting like the world is perfect and they've made the biggest mistakes of their lives by parting. Lather, rinse, and repeat. It's pathetic to watch, really. And honestly, this isn't the only friend I've seen do this. My other friend is broken up with her boyfriend but spends every second with him still. I mean- HELLO! - why did you even break up to begin with? I see it all the time. Even people i don't know. I mean, if i see another changed relationship status on facebook, I'm going to scream. It's like clockwork with some people. They're broken up- no back together- oh wait, now they're broken up- aaaand back together!

Call me bitter, but it makes me so mad to see it sometimes. Especially when my friend comes crying to me. I know i should be a great friend and listen, and don't get me wrong... i do; i sit there and listen and offer my best advice from the heart but deep down inside i just want to take her by the shoulders and shake her compulsively while screaming "you have no idea!". Because really, she doesn't have any idea. None of these back and forth couples do. They have no idea what it's like to be completely ripped and pushed away from someone you love and be forced to let go...to have to deal with the pain that comes with someone giving up on you and wanting nothing to do with you ever again, just like that. I know i shouldn't care but this is why: I've been through that kind of break up. I had my heart literally ripped from my chest, through the ribs, thrown on the floor in front of me, stepped on, spit on, and kicked. Twice. By the same boy. I was so completely heart broken i couldn't function, and truthfully, i'm still healing even months later. It killed me. So seeing all of these couples get back together, or make a huge fuss when they're on a break because to them it's the end of the world to even think of letting go, even though realistically they'll be back with each other in a month give or take, makes me want to roll my eyes or smack them in the head. Sometimes i wish it could be me. And it was briefly. I took back a crappy relationship and you know what it was the second time around? Crap. Big shocker there. And i sometimes look at these couples that get back together and i still wish it could be me. That like all the other guys i see, my ex will come busting through my door with a bouquet of roses and tears in his pathetic eyes, begging to start something over again. But you know what? It didn't happen for me and it will never happen for me and that's something that makes you strong.

So this one goes out to all of the people how have been broken but have been strong enough to let go. For the people who have hurt so badly that they felt they could never love again, but kept their head up. For those who feel like going back to their old lover would put all the pieces back where they belong and everything would fit, but accept the cold hard truth instead. For the people that learn from their mistakes and never stop moving forward, even when they take two steps back. For the people that wish loneliness wasn't a part of them, but put up with it anyhow. For the people that are okay with taking up all of the room in the bed, even if sometimes it feels a little empty. For the people who wake up in the morning with no missed calls, but smile anyway. For the people that periodically miss the past, but are so much more excited for the future. For the people that have wounds still healing. For the people that have so much tied to their past relationship, but break those chains to start fresh. For the people that want to look back so badly, but focus on the road ahead. For the people that pick up the phone so tempted to call, but keep their dignity in tact instead. For the people that never wanted to let go, but had to. For the people that still believe in love even after all of the hurt their heart has endured.

For all the people that gave up not because they were weak, but because most times it's better just to let go.

This one is for you. We'll get our happy ending someday.

-K

150 comments:

  1. Love this. I can't stand the couples who repeatedly break up, they may as well notice it's obviously not working :)

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  2. "I had my heart literally ripped from my chest, through the ribs, thrown on the floor in front of me, stepped on, spit on, and kicked."

    No, you didn't.

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  3. if -k your reading this ignore what that person wrote above he's a dick and he doesn't know what happened to you, hope you heal.

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  4. This just made me cry at my office desk! Especially because Ingrid Michaelson's "Keep Breathing" happened to come on while I read it, too. Cheers to us who choose to let go and move forward, and who are more excited about the unknown future than the shitty past.

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  5. I needed this. Thank you x

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  6. Just the thought of 'maybe one day' is enough for now. :)

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  7. People who break away when things get tough instead of working through it will never learn how to endure the problems they face... they only skirt the issue and rendezvous later, hoping to find that non-existent utopia. Conflict avoidance does not make one stronger. That type of person is doomed to a hamster wheel existence.

    To Anonymous: ever heard of metaphors and hyperboles? Go be anonymously self-righteous somewhere else.

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  8. I agree that in some ways battling through situations is what makes us stronger and endure experience.

    However, in this piece of the author's i highly agree with letting go. I think that is what makes people strong. Obviously this person talks of trying the relationship multiple times and one of the parties is not putting the work in- so it would be painful to stick around and dwell on everything that had failed. When it comes to matters of the broken heart- often times it shows much more strength to just walk away then to hold yourself back from a new life.

    This was a beautiful piece and i hope it inspires many.

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  9. I also needed this. Thank you. A lot.

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  11. Oh, I remember beeing in Akureyri, Iceland. All the traffic lights were just like that! Loved it!

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  12. I love this. That last paragraph was everything I needed to hear. Thank you.

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  13. I was in both those scenarios with the same person-first the back and forth, then the heart shattering break up. But I feel stronger, and know I deserve a love that won't let me go even once. And I'm not bitter at all. I know better things are on the way.
    Great post though. You will find that person who makes you feel like you're flying and you'll never look back.

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  14. Couldn't be written better. And absolutely true!

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  15. I take a photo like that in Paris... I love Le Marais...
    XXX...

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  16. This is the first blogpost that has ever made me cry. I am crying like a little kid because I am one of those who have been forced to let go. And it hurts like hell. I love you for writing this, I think I need to save this to my computer.

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  17. I hope you're right, I'm starting to feel like I couldn't cope with getting broken down again. x x

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  18. This image should be called Stop In the Name of Love!

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  19. I completely, absolutely, and whole-heartedly agree. "For all the people that gave up not because they were weak, but because most times it's better just to let go."
    It takes an intensely strong person to realize he or she deserves better, to let go, and to keep moving forward. It is also among the most liberating, character-growing, and just plain AMAZINGLY EXCITING experiences in the world.
    Well done and have fun,
    J

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  20. thank you! for some true and really honest words. I wish that this post was published in every newspaper, cause we need to read this. People need to see the truth! they need to hear that sometimes it's better to let it go... they just need to hear your views on this issue!

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  21. This may be the best thing i've read in so long. I don't know what to say, other than I know how you feel. I am one of those people whose been repeatedly forced to let go and once i've even had to force someone to let go (he was stalking me). My experiences with love have been sour and sometimes I feel like it will never get better but when I see stuff like this post, I know that one day I will learn to love again. Maybe not today, maybe not this year, but someday I will. someday we will. :)

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  22. thank you.
    this made me cry i want to reblog this on my tumblr.

    xoxo

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  23. THIS COULDNT HAVE COME AT A BETTER TIME!
    THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU

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  24. Pretty sure you just described my last relationship. He was absolutely awful to me and yet I went back to him every time thinking maybe he learned something? Man was I ever a fool. But what are we if we never learn from our mistakes? I cried until I thought my heart was going to explode. I think I realized then that no one is worth that much pain. Thank you for this.

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  25. I very much agree. We all go through that One where we just had our hearts broken, and that we always thought that they were the only one we could possibly be happy with. Sometimes, it just doesn't work out, and I believe that everything happens for a reason and that we can find our Prince Charming. Here's to our own fairytales.
    Great blog, and much love
    x

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  26. I loved this post.
    I hate when people constantly get back together and then break up again and they never really appreciate what they have, when I still sit here day after day wishing that my ex boyfriend would call me and want me back, because after everything that he has done to me.. truthfully, there's not a doubt in my mind that I wouldn't go back. I think it is because I am in love with him.

    Anyways, I loved reading this and someday we will heal, it just takes more time than we'd like.

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  27. Thank you so much for writing this and then deciding to like you said "tell everyone". It makes everything a little bit better when you know you are not going through it alone.

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  28. I really loved this. We'll get our happy ending someday.

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  29. i so needed that!, i just broke up with him like 2 hours ago... it hurts so badly, but like u said if u know it isnt working its better to just let go,i hope this time im strong enough and wont come back into that cycle...

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  30. i feel exactly the same way. these people have no clue. i refuse to give any of my friends relationship advice. ever.

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  31. The last paragraph gave me a lump in my throat. I so love this. People who are so fickle with love will never know what it really means to have loved and lost.

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  32. As I read this, I was laughing and saying YOU ROCK ON!!! I feel the exact same way. It's sad and pathetic that people will cling to fake love just so they look good or so they have "someone." Don't they know that guys are dime a dozen, but FRIENDS are not? Friends are there for you FOR LIFE and they won't leave you alone. But no, friends get pushed to the side and boys come first of course. How sad. I'm just glad I'm not them.

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  33. Thank you.

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  34. Thank you. THIS is what I have been waiting for.

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  35. I'm taking years to forget): *hugs*

    -G

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  36. That last paragraph was beautiful. So empowering and inspirational. Thank you.

    -X

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  37. Wow...this completely took the words out of my mouth. I have 2 friends who do the exact same thing and I have to listen to them when they are "broken up" and then they are back together again. I can't do that. Never have because I know it doesn't work so why bother? Just keep on going to bigger and better things.

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  38. that last paragraph made me cry, it was beautiful.

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  39. this is why i have drifted apart from my friends. cant take their bs anymore.

    THANK YOU

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  40. For everything that I am going through now. I'm glad someone understands.

    Thank you for sharing this post.

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  41. I'm having a tough time with my boyfriend of nearly two years and a half.
    We've never had it this bad.
    I needed this,
    Thank you.

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  42. I actually got chills from reading this, it's so beautifully put and I relate 100 percent.

    Thank you for making me feel proud of having been able to let go(several times even), and you know what? Letting go means letting something (or rather someone) new into your life, which is what I've done just recently. And let me tell you, starting fresh with a new love would never work well if we hadn't been so brave to move on from all the shit in the past.

    Thank you for an incredible post.

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  43. This made my tear up. I can totally relate, to experiencing as well as seeing. I was one of those girls who was on and off with her boyfriend, like a rollercoaster, consumed by passion, whether it be love or hate. He dumped me, hated me, and ignored me for months and months and I felt tortured. Yet we went out again, and the same thing happened, only worse. And when he came back into my life, busy with his new girlfriend, I accepted his friendship, as much as it kills me...

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  44. tearing up reading this because there is so much truth in it..it really is devastatingly hard to hold your head up and force yourself to move on, but it makes us stronger in the end..

    inspirational words

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  45. I totally agree and this is really good written!

    xxx
    natali

    www.stuupido.blogspot.com

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  46. beautiful.. I needed that last one there..feel like there's never my turn to be happy ! thank you so much

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  47. I know how you feel, yet couldn't describe it to myself. It gets so frustrating having to be the one to pick up all the pieces and give advice, even though none of that is really taken seriously in the end. So thankyou for this :)

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  48. its beautifully written and brutally frank. but some ppl rly need t be slapped awake. thanks for this pc of writing tht stands out from others

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  49. thank you for the dedication

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  50. This type of "relationship" makes me mad as well. I can't stand seeing people treat each other that way. It's like they don't respect nor each other nor themselves. It's ridiculous, because every time they break up, everybody has to hear about it. And then they whine and cry and complain. And in two-days time they're back together. It's not a relationship, it's child's play. I hate to see this.

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  51. Every word you wrote was what I need to hear and for that I thank you.

    "For the people who have hurt so badly that they felt they could never love again, but kept their head up. "

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  52. I also need this...
    since my friends are in this kinda strange circle.
    THX!

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  53. I agree with so many others that this post was incredible. Every word was something I needed to hear. I think a partial cure to a broken heat can be found in what you wrote.
    thankyou so much :)

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  54. Wow. I've had to let go before. But I still feel happy seeing broken-up friends make up. I'm sure they must have it tough too, let's not negate other people's heartaches.

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  55. i have friends i now have to say "i honestly do not know what you want me to tell you... i mean, do you want advice or do you just want me to listen? because this is an every other day conversation.." - and it sucks i have to be like that, but it gets ridiculous. love shouldn't be this way and in a sense, people staying in those back and forth relationships out of comfort or boredom or whatever the reason, they could potentially be missing out on meeting their true soulmate.. and what if that soulmate is one of us!? you're stealing our love! :) but really.. i enjoyed this post and i can relate far too heavily.

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  56. it's weird that this was just posted. I had almost the exact same experience as you (at least the one you described). and now, a year and a half later, me and that boy are only just finally able to be friendly with eachother. I started thinking yesterday of asking him on a coffee date to try and reach back to the past...but reading this has made me decide to hold off on that and try to continue looking forward. thank you.

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  57. "we'll get our happy ending" Beautiful!

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  58. Ohh! I usually never comment here, although LeLove is my favorite blog, but now, now I really have to say that you are gorgeous! I think you and I could be very good friends. Thank you for wtiting this so utterly beautifully. Lots of kisses and hugs!

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  59. you could so write this in a book. i'd read it cover to cover. BEAUTIFUL!

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  60. Thank you so so much.

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  61. There is some serious letting go needing to be done here. I've had friends go through something similar and it's horrible to watch. I hope you're healing.

    iliketweet.blogspot

    x

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  62. First thought you sound a little bitter. But the last paragraph is beautifully written. It really is and it makes me smile. Thanks for making me smile :)

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  63. That last bit was incredibly inspiring! Doesn't everyone wish they could keep their pride amidst a break-up, instead of turning into a desperate pathetic mess?

    I'll keep my dignity in mind next time I pick up my phone to send a text.

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  64. I used to be an on and off couple, and that last paragraph totally relates to me. I love this!

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  65. too true, and well said.

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  66. i just went through a horrible break up like that... 2 days ago.
    my one-year relationship has been so increadibly perfect... and all of a sudden he " ... lost the spark" and broke up with me.
    he doesn't have another girl, or nothing..
    just left, like that.

    so... i feel like my whole entire world has just collapsed. I cannot sleep or eat, and flashbacks of memories keep on going through my head.

    i feel your pain.

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  67. we WILL get our happy ending! :D

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  68. i LOVE the image with this post. i reblogged it and gave you credit over at http://happinessisrealwhenshared.blogspot.com

    the stories are sometimes sad, always beautiful. thanks for sharing them. :)

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  69. oh my gosh.


    i think you wrote this for me.



    i love you, whoever you are.
    you said everything i needed to hear.
    thank you.
    you are beautiful.

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  70. oh i appreciated this so much.

    My last relationship was forcefully ended at a time when it was at it's best.
    I was blissfully living in my boyfriend's home country when my visa ran out and I had to return home. It was the hardest thinI have ever done, waking away from something that self-encompassing, this relationship had come to define me and I no longer knew who I was, without him.
    I trully believed that it would be fine. We would be swiftly reunited, and in the mean time, my email and mobile inboxes would be overflowing with declarations of love. But I had overestimated this man's intentions, and he abandoned me.
    I should have seen it coming but it ruined me. Near destroyed and burnt and broke me. But nw, finally it's one year on and I feel strong again. After a year of feeling so pathetic I can see the point of it now and I can almost enjoy what I went through.

    This post is so beautiful and so welcoming. You write beautifully.

    Cheers fo sharing

    Tess

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  71. I love the "stop in the name of love" stoplight...very cool!

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  72. k, thank you so much for this. i hope you heal well too because i think my scars are fading beautifully in a way that would (hopefully) make me a better person too. (:

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  73. thank you so much for this, really needed the encouragement

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  74. I love this post and how you wrote it. Yeah I've been there too and I don't know how couples like that function, but at some point we have all wished that person would come back in our lives. It's tough moving on but it does make us stronger.

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  75. i'm glad someone else understands.

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  76. omg i love this so much. thanks k! it's good to know there's other people fighting the same battle.

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  77. loved it! mature, direct, and TRUE. IT JUST TOUCH MY HEART...
    and yes,
    we´ll get our happy ending someday.

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  78. I love it I absolutely can't stand on and off relationships if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be move on! Lol wish I could tell my friend the same she hurts herself with this cheater bf of hers :C

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  79. Thank you. So much. I have been hurting over a boy who never treated me right. Loved the jerk, feel like a fool.

    Not worth the tears.

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  80. One of my best friends just quit her job, quit school, and up and moved to a different state to live with the boy who has broken up with her countless times. I know it isn't going to work. She just keeps wasting her time. She just changed the course of her life to go back to a shit relationship. I haven't even called her since she moved because I have no idea what to say to her. I will NEVER understand.

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  81. I understand you completely! Have been through those couples a million times, i feel just like you! Thanks for saying it out loud :)

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  82. This made my heart ache, but in a good way.

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  83. Just like it feels

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  84. I love your love stories.. and the pics

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  85. I don't know if you're in the right place to judge. To many people what seems routine and predictable on the outside is really, truly, painful. Mine was closer to your relationship, but looking up right now instead of going down in flames. I'm sorry for you, and I can relate because that entire thing happened with someone else, but hey, if you can take someone back, why can't they? what makes them different? your perception? not really fair.
    your story is really, really touching, and i understand what you mean about other people's seemingly trite relationships, but we never really know.
    good luck though.

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  86. thank you. for this.. i really need it..


    ;)

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  87. Holy shit, this is so amazing, and I'm in love with this.
    "For the people who wake up in the morning with no missed calls, but smile anyway."
    That's me.
    XO THE GIRL IN GREY

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  88. I have never commented on any of these before, but I just wanted to say that this really helped a girl going through one of the toughest times of her life. Every bit is heart-wrenchingly true for me.
    It's the hope that was written about in this post that keeps me getting up in the morning. I use the pain as the ultimate motivation to better myself. Success is the best revenge.
    Thank you again for this post (:

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  89. amazing. this text was really strong and honest and it really caught me by heart. thank you

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  90. Hey
    I just had to respond to this because I can relate to it in my own way, I am part of one of those couples who breaks up and gets back again and again. I can see why we would piss people off i totally get it, it pisses me off too. But I've never made a big deal about the 'breaks' or called my friends up or acted like it was the end of the world.I know its not and i just stay quiet about it and deal with it in the way i have to. But i don't think its fair as someone above commented, to negate someone elses heartache. Going through this relationship of mine i've learnt that you really can not judge someone unless you've been through every single thing that they have you can't say that someone is wrong when you've never been in that position yourself. I'm not trying to say that you're wrong to feel what you do, if I was you I probably would too. Maybe your relationship was supposed to end maybe you're yet to find that person who'll value you, who'll make you feel amazing, who deep down you know is meant for you. Because i promise you when you find that person, he'll never let you go. Everytime you fight with him everytime he makes a mistake, a mistake big enough that you have to end things. You have to end things because otherwise he won't realize the weight of what he's done, he won't make the effort to right it. But when he does make that effort when you see him change for you, say exactly what you want to hear and more. When you know noone'll make you as happy as he does, I think you'll take him back too.
    I have the utmost respect for you, for being strong and making the right decisions and making sure the people in your life are the ones who deserve to be there. For knowing what you're worth. I'm sure that one day you'll find the person who knows it too and never lets you forget it and i hope you wont let him go.

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  91. It's so hard to let go! I really needed this! Thank you so much!

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  92. OMG the picture!
    Loved this..

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  93. Precisely.

    Thank you.

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  94. this is exactly what i'm going through right now.

    i hope it gets better.

    this is great.

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  95. Ah....I so know this one well. So odd that I wrote about this happening to me 5 years ago today. People like us who have the strength to let go....we *do* get our happy ending. I left the man who treated me like that as well and now I'm about to celebrate the 2year anniversary with my husband who treats me so, so, soooo incredibly well! It works out in the end for those who are strong, but it does take time and healing.

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  96. perfect timing when i came across this. i was sitting on my own last night pondering over this... "why me?" i thought. whoever wrote this i think i love you.

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  97. thank you, i needed this. if you were to read my blog about my failed engagement, you would completely understand.

    to top things off, i just found out my ex-fiance was cheating on my for a long time and already has a new gf. we've only been broken up for 4 months.

    regardless, i know i'll get my happy ending one day.

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  98. wow first i gotta say gorgeous pic at the top and second i love the emotion behind this and i gotta kinda agree but in the end i guess u can give up can u

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  99. sometimes it ends up being worth all those silly fights.... i am living proof.. can see where you are coming from, however perhaps you have only experienced that one particular relationship, and thus your opinion not entirely valid.

    love isnt all sunshine and rainbows. it can at times become very hard work.

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  100. thank you for reminding me that i am never alone. love you, K. whoever you are. you will get through this.... no, WE will get through this.

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  101. I love this photo very much and I totally agree what you wrote.

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  102. I repeat this to myself in my head the moment I wake up in the morning and my heart drops because I remember that I am alone:

    "I'll get my happy ending someday. I'll get my happy ending someday. I'll get my happy ending someday."

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  103. I love this. Your last paragraph is excellent

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  104. you're american, right?
    is not like that everywhere.

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  105. This post is something that I strongly identify with. Reading it is somehow comforting. Some people just don't even know. Thanks for sharing this.

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  106. my heart is with you, thank you

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  107. thanks. needed to hear it

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  108. I just got chills reading this.
    It's like you took the words straight out of my heart.

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  109. god bless. this meant a lot. :-)

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  110. Thank you so much for writing this. Here's to everyone happy ending someday :)

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  111. Thank you so much for writing this. It's hard sometimes to remember why it's better to be alone. Then you read this.

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  112. i cried and i cried and i cried as i read this. and then i smiled.
    i know a lot of people can relate to this, and i can too. i knew i had been through exactly what you're talking about. and i wept over the past, and then i started to read the last paragraph. i wiped the tears and they didn't come rushing back. although each sentence began with what i was longing to feel, the second gave me hope.

    thank you. for giving me hope, after all this time.

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  113. I understand your frustration.
    This happens to me all the time with my friend and her stupid boyfriend. I can't even begin to tell you how many times she comes crying to me telling me that they have broken up yet again.
    Then I find out 2 days later that they are back together again.
    It's very aggravating.

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  114. this is perfect. it feels like a stronger part of me wrote this.

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  115. it's not fair to judge other people's situations and how it feels to them. it may seem trivial to you, but other people could be hurting just as much despite their breakup not seeming as "extreme" as yours.

    breaking up always sucks, maybe if you tried having more sympathy than bitterness, it would be easier to get over things and move on?

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  116. I LOVE YOU K

    maybe in some time i will heal and be strong to

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  117. This is so awesome. Especially the last part.

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  118. This was really touching and inspiring. Thank you x

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  119. Loved this piece.

    Exceptional.

    If only more people were willing to let go of their past. They should never forget the unfortunate events though, it should be part of what makes them want to be better, and want to have better.

    Kills me when I see people who go back to the people that hurt them.
    Life's little mistakes cost you more greater than you could expect to know.
    Why don't some people learn.

    If you don't learn from your past you don't deserve the good in the future. Not until you are ready to be loved and know not to take that love for granted will it come to you.

    I am with the most wonderful man after being in some dodgy relationships and I know with all my heart he is the one. I bet my bottm dollar on it.

    Your knight in shining armour is out there waiting. Don't lose hope.

    xo xo xo

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  120. thank you. i can relate to this completely -- my first relationship was with a guy who kept dumping me and getting me back. 5 times over 3 years.

    i even held on to him for months after the last break up, thinking he'd come back to me if i waited like all the other times. i knew it was truly over when he began to pursue a close girlfriend of mine...so i forced myself to let go of him.

    and it's made me a stronger person, and life's much better. :)

    thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  121. I was able to get my ex back after I followed the instructions at www.saveabreakup.com I totally recommend this site, saveabreakup.com helped me a lot, all I can say is big THANKS!!! I'm so happy now...

    ReplyDelete
  122. I guess, this is for me. I've tried the same as you - i got my heart broken twice, by the same boy.

    It's hard. Maybe the hardest thing i've ever tried to deal with. But now; i'm here. My heart is healed, and i'm moved on. For only five months ago, i was willing too give it all up for him - but i guess you learn from your mistakes.

    Anyway; thank you for this. It made me smile, because i actually realized, that i'm one of them your writing about.

    ReplyDelete
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  126. you have no idea how much this helps me.
    i fall in love with this guy so badly and he told me that he is not into me and
    it broke my heart endlessly.
    the fact that we had a deep friendship too which i had to give up, broke my heart twice.
    it felt like he just didn't stole my heart, he stole my happiness too.
    i lost hope but your story gives me a bit hope back!
    thank you so much !

    ReplyDelete

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