how bizarre

ph: Emily Coghlan

They say that: if you can't help but to think about someone at least once a day, you should not give up on that person. Well. I'm thinking about you at least once every hour, so I guess I should grab you and never let you go?

I don't know what we are, or if we even have something, or if we can even be called a "we". We met trough mutual friends at New Year's Eve when I was back home from college visiting friends and family. And then we met when I came back once. And now I'm back in town again for a few days, but I haven't seen him- I don't know if I even want to.

Scared is what I am. Scared of realizing he's not into me like I am into him. Scared that if he is- I will fall for someone who's living far away from me and whom I won't be able to see for more than maybe once a month. I thought having a crush was fun, exiting and sweet. This is the absolute opposite. This gives me more heart ache than being miserable and totally alone.

How bizarre.

cuddle now

ph: André Foucteau + Nicklas Gustafsson

what's mine, is mine

ph: Indiana Caba

Only because memories are meant to be well kept. Here's to the Future. Music was blasting everywhere, people walking pass us every second, he held my hand in his and I baffled to look into his eyes and he smiled and said, "I love you." That was the first time he told me he loved me in person. and then he kissed my cheek. at one point I asked him to take off his sunglasses and he did and looked into my eyes and tightened his grip around my body. that was the first time in my eighteen year old life that someone had gotten that physically and spiritually close to me. I wonder if he could feel how my loudly heart was beating inside my chest. At one point, I felt how fast his heart was racing and had to comment it. His smile got wider and responded "Its only because you are here."

Dear A, understand this,

I don’t know what the future holds,
Well actually I do, you and me are in it.
Texting, talking, playing, kissing, hugging and all of that.
Actually, just add ‘-ing’ to every existing verb in the dictionary – we’ll do it all.

No matter where I have been these few months,
You have always caught up with me.
Someone would listen to your favorite DJ
Another made jokes just like you¨
While someone else would have the same name as you
No matter what I did, it always came back to you.

Leave the light on,
Stay up just a few more minutes like you always use to do
Oceans and miles are nothing, we’d beat them once
We can beat them again.
I called for the space between your right ear and collarbone,
And as far as I know, it still belongs to me. What's mine, is mine.


My heart is even more your own than when you stole it that warm august night three years ago. We belong together, realize that please.
Let me know soon, alright? Love you

-- P