Le Love

we'd go crazy without each other

2012-01-27T03:35:00.000-05:00

weheartit + unknown

we left it so open

2012-01-26T04:07:00.002-05:00

PureLove

New Years Eve:
That's when we met. And it was cliche. And it was reckless. And it was.... amazing.

I took hold of his hand and that was it, something inside me clicked. The way his eyes met mine, and his butterfly stirring smile was enough to make my knees weak, and once he kissed me I knew I was done.

We kept in touch everyday after that night, and he even came and visited me this past weekend. I was so incredibly nervous for him to come, but the moment I opened my door he took me into his arms and kissed me, and all my nerves disappeared. We had an amazing weekend, drinking, laughing, laying in bed until 2 in the afternoon, and exchanging stories about our lives. But sadly it had to end, and he had to leave. And that's where this real life fairy tale falls short.

Where do we go from here? I have an extra year of school left, and he is moving across the country. He said I should come visit, but who knows when I will be able to. He admitted to being disappointed about our "bad timing." Which is exactly what this is....horrible timing. I want to know where this could go, it's like I need to know what could happen in this story, but I am being forced to wait, and it is driving me insane. Not knowing when I will see him again breaks my heart, and it makes me feel crazy because I barely know him, but I don't care, all I know is that I want to know more and more about him, I want to spend more time with him and figure this out. It's like I have taken a drug and I will soon need my next fix, but I will be unable to get it, and that literally makes me feel sick.

There is a part of me that regrets letting this grow after New Years, why did we have to continue to talk? Why did I invite him to come stay with me. Why did he actually come? Why? Why? Why?

Because we both couldn't shake the feeling that there is something strong between us...so what happens next? We didn't make plans, we decided to wing it, but I hate that. I hate that we left it so open...

i still love you

2012-01-25T03:56:00.003-05:00

weheartit

I tried. I went to see other hoping to find better. To try to forget your kisses, the softness of your skin, your smell, your eyes, your face. But it became worse. And it hurts. And despite what you did to me, I can not hate you. I hate not being able to forget, but I can not help it if I still love you.
I miss you K.

C

you never really give up on love

2012-01-23T21:20:00.000-05:00

Alistair Holmes + unknown

maybe. maybe never.

2012-01-22T22:30:00.002-05:00

tea shafie

We met by accident but fell in love on purpose. We were each other's first, and we've been through it all. Three break ups and reconciliations later, here we are. We haven't seen each other since the summer but text occasionally. It's like we are too afraid to see each other, in fear of falling for each other once again and started another disaster.

We've both been with people since, but we haven't fallen again. I asked you once if we couldn't walk away from each other because we're not over or because we were each other's first, to which you replied "both". You'll always have part of my heart but right now I need to walk away. 2012 isn't about a new chapter, but rather writing a new book.

I can't keep guilting myself because of what has happened since we were us...especially that thing that happened without my consent. I'll never know the real reason why you said the things you did, but you did. I didn't wish you a happy new year, because it is unfair to me to talk to you knowing that it would be the first and last text of the year. I don't know what lies ahead for me, but I know it isn't you.

I don't believe that everything happens for a reason or what is meant to be will be. But I have faith in myself, and in my soul, that things will work out in the end. However, I do admit, that sometimes I wish that things had worked out, and that I hadn't slowly fall out of love with you. If I had been with you, then he wouldn't of taken advantage of me and did what he did. Sometimes I wonder if that's why you opted out of my life.

I'll never know how you feel, or if you still think about me. I don't know if the things you once said is still felt today but what I do know is that I can't keep doing this to myself.

You were my first love, and will never be forgotten but right now I need to put everything down and walk away. It hurts too much to try to put everything back together.

Maybe it'll be a month, a year, a decade that we'll see each other again...or maybe never. But right now, I need to focus on me and rediscovering who I am again.

I'm sorry for those tears you shed, and I'm sorry for hurting you but I need to stop punishing myself.

Goodbye.

i will stare at you

2012-01-21T22:01:00.001-05:00

weheartit + unknown

thank you

2012-01-20T14:52:00.004-05:00

weheartit

'I love you' is a phrase overused and easily misunderstood. Saying it is all too easy. I'd like to try 'I Thank You' instead. Here is my submission, at 4h29am. I've had no sleep.

You’ve combed my hair when it’s been all in knots; you’ve rubbed my feet when they’ve ached. When I’ve been distressed, or hurt, or disappointed in my friends and in myself, you have stayed on the line to comfort me. You’re never afraid of silences. When I hang up you wait a minute and call right back, without a word of resentment or criticism, just quiet understanding. It’s as if you can sense what I’m feeling and you know just when to call. The most extraordinary thing about you is that as much as I push you away in my spells of anger or distress, you’ll stay right there, unmoving. You’re so stubbornly devoted to me that I wish every day that I had the same patience, wisdom and integrity as you. Never a single grudge have you held. Not once. Not ever. I know I haven’t been easy, but you always help me come round. Sometimes I fear I have little to give you in return for your enduring kindness and love. I can be cold, distant, reactive. I know that you find my conflicted nature challenging, but you never give up on me, even long after I’ve decided to give up on myself. With gentle, firm words you tell me to snap out of it. That’s all I ever needed. Thank you. I don’t know what else to say.

think of you

2012-01-19T01:38:00.002-05:00

Charles Fredrik Gruber

to find someone new

2012-01-17T22:20:00.002-05:00

Stefany Alves

I have thought about it many times.
Perhaps mostly because everyone besides myself seems to wonder when I'm going to find someone new. But I don't let it get to me. I'm not looking for someone new. I'm far from ready and I don't want to be in a relationship. I just started to let go of my previous one.

There is a time for everything, and now is my time to heal. To grow strong and be whole in myself. Learn to live with myself, my scars and my memories. Learn how to always feel safe within and not let that one single frightened voice in my head (the ego) stop me from having an open heart and dare to love unlimited.

What has been, has been. What is now is now. The rest is still unwritten.

no one

2012-01-16T21:49:00.003-05:00

shhh + unknown

a kind of girl who can't decide

2012-01-15T17:14:00.002-05:00

the berry

My heart is beating so fast, when you look at me...
Let's start from the beginning...

I am in a relationship with a boy. A great boy for about 6 years. I fell in love with him when I was in High School. Things where not always great, we are a normal couple. Now I am a student and I moved out to another city 4 years ago. Everything was normal, we saw each other every weekend or rare, I hadn't much time, I was still studying. On the 3rd year I started 2nd faculty. And maybe it was my mistake...

At the end of 1st term, one guy who was looking at me from time to time was sitting and waiting for the Professor. I was certain that he is attending with me to other subject, so I decided to ask about something. He smiled widely, and when I saw his blue eyes I couldn't say anything more. That was the first time I talked with Tony. It was about one year ago. This ordinary boy made a revolution in my heart. We started talk, more and more often. Everytime I see him, he is so happy, he is smiling to me. I noticed he is touching my hand and saying "hi!" Tony is also traveling a lot and I think he has a little understanding for me and my live out of a suitcase.
(My Dad and Grandfather live in other country, I travel a lot since I was born).

When he is sitting next to me I got crazy. His smell, his voice, his apperance, his lips... I always STARE at him. I suppose that he noticed that. I can't stop thinking about him. When I get e-mails from him I'm so happy as stupid child! I am smiling to myself like a full! But he never asked me to go out. I wondered why, couse I'm not a kind of ugly girl, some people says that I am beauty...

What if he did? Should I go? I probably would go... PROBABLY. I know that he's so cute and nice, girls loves him...

I started to have dreams with Tony. Once uppon time I was at awful party with friends from my university, but Tony wasn't there. I had a dream that I was wearing same short white dress, I was at the same party and I wanted to escape, people around me were angry and rude, but Tony came and took me from this mess, then we got into his car and drove away. He was my hero.I am felling appaling regret all a time for my feelings...

I decided to focus onto my relationship with Wade and end up this ridiculous situation in my head&heart. But I stared to see how imperfect Wade was. Our interest were different, he was living in other city, he was far away when I was crying. Also I still remember how bad he used to be, how difficult he was sometimes. I invited Wade and he came to my flat for weekend before Christmas, he was waiting for me till I end my classes. Then we went on a date. We slept in one bed, but my thoughts were far away with Tony. I dreamed about him again. The worst thing was, that Wade was beside me. Tony was waving and smiling to me.

Yesterday I had another dream that we were sitting opposite each other and drinking coffee, looking into our eyes deeply with love. I have a problem with my dreams and reality. I read an interview with Johny Deep, he said: " If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldn’t have fallen for the second."

But still I have my Mum's words in my head: "if he wants you, he'll come across river, sea, ocean and he'll be there for you". That's the only reason I can't even move towards him. Me and my pride. Forever and always. I am a kind of girl who can't decide what dress to buy -white or black? Always buying two. It's killing me inside.

P.
___________________________________
Sorry for my english - it's my 3rd language.

to whom it may concern

2012-01-14T19:44:00.001-05:00

unknown

the lovesick

2012-01-13T22:20:00.003-05:00

Quyen Nghia

we are the lovesick. the fearless ones. the never giving up.
the hearts undone. sick with the desire to love. to live so far
beyond the boundaries given to us. we are the fence-hopping
fools who never stopped to read the signs. the ones that left
the world behind. like dreams we've drawn in neon light. just
moments in the sea of time. we are the lost ones wandering.
the soon to be smoldering. last to be found. the first to fall and
fail to fly then shatter on the ground. we are the rebels running
wild through a darkness that can swallow us. but we've set fire
to our souls. burning brilliant blinding gold. the flames that illuminate
our lonely road. our futures holding fates untold. we are the
ever-refusing to fold. to fade away or worse to lose. the few that
bend and break apart the cages of our rules. born desperate for the
promise of the mystery unknown. we are the lovesick. and just like
the sun we will always rise. hope still shining in our eyes.. - Jason Reeves.

I have the courage to love.. And I will love you forever.

don't get attached

2012-01-13T00:10:00.002-05:00

unknown + weheartit

who will love the girl

2012-01-12T01:39:00.003-05:00

Film Fancier

I haven't fallen in love yet. I'm only eighteen, still a baby, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it so badly.

As my second semester of college comes around the corner, I cannot help but think "will he be in this room?", as I walk into new classes; a clean slate, they don't know me and I don't know them.

Believe it when it's said, I'm not desperate nor do I need a boyfriend. Believe it when it's said, I just want to know what it feels like, to have someone in which you can be 100% yourself, that will love all your flaws as you love his or hers.

You see i am a sucker for books, and sappy stories, though I do not like showing it. Both happy endings and tragic endings appeal to me because the characters in stories always feel something nonetheless. Dreaming is all I have ever known.

So I'm terrified that I'll be one of those girls who never falls in love because it hasn't happened yet. I'm also terrified that I'll be one of those girls who falls for anyone just to see if love could be found there.

Who will love the girl who loves getting lost in a book,
chasing those fantasies that only exist in her mind?

Who will love the girl who suddenly gets quiet because she got a bad vibe,
so it ruins her whole day?

Who will love the girl who gets lost is her train of thoughts and will never be able to tell you why she got lost in the first place?

Who will love the girl who yearns for those midnight talks about life and what it has to bring?

Who will love the girl?

I know that I'm not the only one out there who feels this way. Younger, older, wiser: there are many of us. It's a scary concept, love, but I still want to feel it.

-L.C

i don't want us be strangers

2012-01-10T18:56:00.002-05:00

weheartit + unknown

fault

2012-01-08T18:57:00.002-05:00

unknown

I just found out the love of my life has a new girl, and this is what my fingers typed when I told myself to speak out my feelings.

"It's not his fault"

It's not his fault I fell for him. It's not his fault he was my perfect fit. At some point all the weight of guilt would fall on me, because it's my fault I fell for someone who didn't love me back. It's my fault I ache every night when I think of him, and it's my fault I gave him everything without regretting anything. It's my fault for feeling the most incredible, indescribable, immense love towards him. It's all my fault. And I'm paying for it.

missed connections

2012-01-05T23:46:00.002-05:00

the new yorker + unknown

a stranger i cant wait to know

2012-01-04T20:56:00.002-05:00

rcarca

as long as i can remember ive always been searching for "the one." romance novels, disney fairytales, and hollywood chick flicks have put images of white knights and prince charmings in my head that realistically dont exist. alas the hopeless romantic, emphasis on hopeless, that i am keeps her eyes peeled in case one magically walked through a magic mirror into this world searching for me too.

in the past ive gone to many lengths to meet my soul mate. utilizing online dating, missed connection sites, blind dates... yet they all end in failure. in most cases my overzealous heart either mistakes him for someone hes not, or scares them away. and yet no matter how many times my heart has been chipped, dropped, and broken, i continue to pick up the pieces and tape them together again and move on with my search.

more recently i took a step back. trying to rearrange my priorities and get the rest of my life in a place that makes me happy. its taken about a year but i feel im finally there. i know who my true friends are and i make time to invest in them. i have a career i love with all my heart and work for a company i truly believe in. i could hit the gym more often but thats not really impairing my happiness too much. im living with my parents, which isnt the ideal situation, but the 3 of us are getting along well and im closer to my goal of savings to get out on my own again soon! but no matter what i do for myself, no matter how many spa days i allow, big pay checks i get, or pounds i loose, theres still something missing. and that is him. the one. my prince charming. my hero.

BUT LOW AND BEHOLD!!! a few weeks ago, i was minding my own business at dillards and there he was. i had just gotten off work, i was exhausted and disheveled, and decided to swing by the mall to grab a few things. i had parked in the parking area i always park in and as i was leaving to head home i walked by the holiday decor. with my mothers santa clause collection in mind i popped in to see if there may be a santa she couldnt live without. sure enough, Irish Santa popped out and i commenced my search to find one to buy. of course i couldnt so i went to look for help. approaching the first dillards employee i could find i found my heart start to race. my cheeks flush. my voice retreating. he was the most handsome man ive ever laid my eyes on. now if you remember prince charming is typically described as "tall, dark, and handsome" he fits this mold in his own quirky way. he is tall. not too tall though. perfectly tall. hes strong and fit. in a way that when he wraps his arms around me i feel safe and protected. smaller. i feel like a space was saved for me in those arms of his. oh is he handsome. i believe the term for him is "silver fox." ugh is it sexy. he wears his silver locks in a Madmen style, classic and chic. his smile makes sparks fire within my soul. his eyes are like deep, endless pools that i could loose myself in for hours. oh how i long for him now... even now he distracts me. but anyways, back to the story. i asked him for help finding santa. as he went to the stock room to search i frantically found a mirror and quickly applied lipstick, powder, and let down my hair... my crazy attempt to make myself more attractive for him. oh did i mention he was wearing the cutest red bow tie?! ugh! as he returned he wrapped up my gift and we began to chat. well, he was chatting, i was flirting. we took notice of each others tattoos and learned we were both of irish decent. it was a short lived encounter that i will never forget. he won me over in 5 measly minutes. without even trying. i left the mall with only the name tony to go by. but i HAD to know him. know who he is. what hes about. everything about him. i wanted him in my life from that very moment.

jump ahead past the crazy stalker faze i had when i got home that night frantically searching for him via internet. its amazing how easy it is to find someone if you really want to. so you can guess... i found him, emailed him, and anxiously waited for a response. i soon learned he was more than willing to start a friendship, but the air soon deflated from my bubble when i learned he was seeing someone. *le sigh*

jump ahead again, its only been perhaps 2 weeks. and we are friends. but i have fallen head over heels for him. without a doubt, deep for him. my heart feels as though it has finally found its counterpart. the last piece to my puzzle. my white knight. (as i type this my phone makes is typical text message sound and my heart jumps as i see its from him :) ) hes the man ive been dreaming of my whole life. i know without a doubt, deep in my soul, that he is the most wonderful man ive ever met. his touch makes my stomach tighten. his smile lights me on fire. when he speaks i want to savor every story. i long to feel what his lips feel like. what his breath tastes like. to be as close as possible to his body.

when im apart from him it feels as though my heart has a string tied around it. and he holds the other end. my heart feels like it is being pulled towards this man. this man that i honestly dont know. hes still very much a stranger. a stranger i cant wait to know deeply, inside and out.

take a chance

2012-01-02T22:07:00.001-05:00

weheartit + unknown

i hate you. i love you. i miss you.

2012-01-01T16:56:00.003-05:00

Esben Bøg

Dear you,

I hate
...you.
...that you call me.
...that you belong to someone else.
...myself or leaving.
...myself for never telling you how I feel.
...us

I love
...you
...you for everything you are.
...the memories you created with me.
...us

I miss
...you
...the way you smile
...our long conversations
...playing video games
...cocktails at our favorite bar
...us

I hate you. I love you. I miss you...

-Me

something that once made you smile

2011-12-28T17:44:00.001-05:00

Bruna Vieira Depois + unknown

i don’t know how much longer

2011-12-27T16:38:00.002-05:00

Nicole Loher

I love because of you, I hurt because of you.

I want to sit in front of you and open myself up like an over read book. I want to be able to be honest with you and tell you everything that’s been steeping in my head, and in my heart for too long. But I can’t. I’m too afraid to get hurt, to discover the truth – the truth that probably differs from my own. So instead, I’ll sit down and spell out the words and feelings I’m too afraid to look you in the eyes and say.

We had an innocent chance encounter meeting. Nothing special, nothing too note worthy. Our friendly acquaintance banter soon turned into more and at one point I knew I had not only formed a new friendship but one worth enhancing. I don’t know what it was that tipped me off, but there was something – you were something. I wanted to know more about you, discover who you really were and become close with all that was you. It was easier for me to disguise my feelings at first because you were taken. You were with someone else and I knew the boundaries existed. I was not bothered, nor fazed. I had found myself in similar positions beforehand. You were someone else’s and I happily accepted this, I did. If anything, I was just happy to have you by my side as a friend.

Then one day, it was over. You had ended the relationship and you were available again. I had mixed emotions at first: I didn’t want to encroach on your newly single self, your confused mind and your vulnerable state. It wouldn’t be fair. You needed time and space and more importantly a dear friend to turn to, to rely on. I became that dear friend for you. I was more than happy to be her. I wanted to be the ears to your illogical words, the cushion for your irrational thoughts, the reassurance to your questionable doubts. I became all of the above and more – we became each other’s confidant, each other’s go-to, each others emergency call no matter the time of day. In no time we had become each other’s best friends in a new city where we were both strangers only a few months beforehand. Nothing seemed impossible now that I had you by my side. But somehow, even with all this, I wanted more. I wanted you but more than what I already had of you. I wanted our endearing friendship to grow into something else, to be something so much greater than what it already was. I wanted to be that girl that made you look back; that girl that made your heart skip an extra beat; that girl that you held a gaze with for a few seconds longer; that girl you would talk about long after she was gone. I wanted to be your girl but somehow couldn’t find a way to be. Instead, I sat back and listened to you talk about other girls. You would ask my opinion and I would muster up the courage to mask my true feelings and smile while I delivered the lines you wanted to hear. My face wore the brave mask so easily – too easily – while in fact my heart was painted with the true emotions of my yearning.

I tried to push aside all these feelings; tried to trick myself into thinking I was chasing after something that wasn’t worth the hunt. I kept telling myself it would be foolish of me to jeopardize the wonderful friendship we had formed in such a short span of time. I tried to ignore all the little things that made me fall for you in the first place, but in doing so I only grew fonder of you. I kept feeding nutrients to the starving feelings of desire.

And that’s where I still find myself – at a loss. I no longer know what to do, or how to go on. I’m too afraid to tell you with the risk of losing you, and I’m too afraid to let these feelings linger on. Regardless of the decision, I have a sense I will only hurt myself. I don’t know how much longer I can be with you without being with you. I don’t know how much longer I can go on sharing fun filled moments, endless laughter, and standstill time with you. I don’t know how much longer I can bear to look you in the eyes without reaching out to touch your lips; hug you without holding onto you for a little while longer; wake up next to you in bed without cuddling up to your welcoming side. I don’t know how much longer I can go on without me being your girl, you being my guy and us being that couple. I don’t know how much longer I can go on hiding these true feelings from you, remaining dishonest to your always-honest self. I don’t know how much longer I can go on crying true tears to an unknown audience. I don’t know how much longer I can keep on hurting when you have no idea of the pain I’m suffering.

So for now I'll continue to sit back, all the while paying the prices for falling in love with you, my best friend…

it is really quite simple

2011-12-26T18:56:00.002-05:00

weheartit

you’ll never forget your first true love

2011-12-23T22:39:00.002-05:00

RengimMutevellioglu

It’s been two years. I remember the two first months felt like forever. Two years ago I thought I would be ok in a two years time. I wasn’t back then, it felt like a never ending pain. But the reasonable me kept on saying "Hold on, just hold on. I will be okay, it will end one day and it will go faster than you expect. It just doesn’t feel like that right now. But I know it will.”

I honestly thought two years would be more than enough to… I don’t even know to what. To move on, to stop hurting, to stop crying, to stop loving. Perhaps even to forget?

But I haven’t. I haven’t stopped crying or hurting. I haven’t really moved on. And I have definitely not forgotten.

So now I don’t know what I should tell myself anymore.

I guess people who say that you’ll never forget your first true love are actually telling the truth.

Namsi

all the time i will love you

2011-12-22T18:52:00.002-05:00

brandon scott photography + unknown

I can’t wait for you

2011-12-21T23:07:00.000-05:00

unknown

Every time I close my eyes to go to sleep I pick out my favourite memory of us. Of you.

Sometimes it is when I was lying on you and we were laughing so hard that we laughed even more just because it was so fun to laugh. Your smile.

Sometimes it is when we hanged out first time. We were watching Tangled and you predicted every single thing. The way you irritate me.

Sometimes it is when we used to lie in your bed and snuggle. Chest to chest, arms around each other, legs tangled and cheek to cheek. The way you smell.

Sometimes it is when we wrestled and ended up on the floor with me on top. Winning. Even though I know that you would easily beaten me. Your generosity.

Sometimes it is when we were on our way home to your place after a night out, both drunk and I asked you if you would be hung over the next day and you replied “As long as you are next to me it doesn’t matter how bad I am. I’ll be the luckiest guy anyway.”. The way you made me feel.

Sometimes it is when we were walking and you suddenly took my hand as it would have been the most natural thing in the world. How much you mattered to me.

But most of the time it is the last time we kissed. Because I know that it was the last time.

We are both in the US, for now. But you are going to finish your four year of college here and when my only year is over I’ll be going back to Sweden again. You will still have three more years to go. Three more years apart.

I’ll miss you so much and I will never forget you. But I can’t wait for you. Mostly because I can't wait for someone that doesn’t know what he wants. I told you how I felt but you never told me what you felt. I can only guess and I’m guessing – as much as I’m hoping- that you feel the same way I do for you. But guessing and hoping is not something that will keep me waiting for you. I would need you to confirm it. I would need you to say that you love me back. But you can’t and that is why I can’t wait three years for you.

I’m sorry and I hope life will treat you well.

Yours truly.

by your side

2011-12-20T19:33:00.002-05:00

unknown + weheartit

pray for a day

2011-12-19T23:37:00.000-05:00

Amanda Mabel

Your E.E. Cummings for the day:

it may not always be so; and i say
that if your lips,which i have loved,should touch
another's,and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart,as mine in time not far away;
if on another's face your sweet hair lay
in such a silence as i know,or such
great writhing words as,uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;

if this should be,i say if this should be-
you of my heart, send me a little word;
that i may go unto him, and take his hands,
saying, Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face, and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands.

I guess sometimes the thing you want most is the one thing you cannot have. Know that I have never been kidding when I said I would (and in some ways I have) sacrifice anything - everything - for you, because you and me and us and we, and our always, mean that much to me. Desire, I guess, wears us out, leaves us broken. Desire, I guess, can wreck a life. But you know, as tough as wanting something can be, I think the people who suffer the most, are those who don’t know what they want or worse don’t do what is necessary to get what they want. In the best possible way, you have absolutely wrecked me, because you see, I fell in love with you, always with a feeling, deep down, that there was very little chance of my ever being with you for that always. Definition of insanity, I guess, but holding true the adage that to love and win is the best thing; to love and lose, the next best – because at least I loved you with a love unsurpassed and never to be duplicated, completely and totally and unconditionally and without limits and with a depth that not even poets have been able to capture or even describe.

I wish you happiness. I wish you joy. I wish you grace. I hope that your life leaves you filled to overflowing with all that you had hoped - surpassing your every expectation. There is a wonderful benediction that goes something like “my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, a hearth constantly warmed by family and friends, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.” I do wish all those things for you.

I will miss telling you what you mean to me, which is nothing less than what you mean to the world. I will miss finding new and wonderful ways to express my every feeling, which are numerous and deep and consuming. I will miss telling you how beautiful and amazing and intelligent and bright and gorgeous and lovely and sensual you are. I will miss describing the wonderment that is every one of your special places – and experiencing each of them inch by inch, touch by touch, kiss by kiss, for a lifetime.

You will always find ways to my heart, but I pray that one day the taste of your name, which sounds of beauty and sunshine and smiles and bliss and the warmth of a blessed day, will sound so, though I am not hopeful. Know that any time I need to see your face I will just close my eyes – you will always be there.

And no matter what, I will always love you. And while I will always hope, and pray and wish for the day when you come to me and say “I am yours, all yours, for always,” I will also just pray for a day when I won’t need you so badly every minute of every day and every second in between. You are a love, beyond love, and you will always have my whole entire heart.

sitting next you

2011-12-18T23:11:00.000-05:00

gayana

so i wonder

2011-12-17T21:11:00.006-05:00

weheartit

I fell in love with the way he held me tight. I fell in love with the way he'd kiss the back of my hand as he held it. I fell in love with the way he whispered, "I love you" in my ear, the way his breath felt against my neck as we cuddled, the way his lips felt when we kissed, who he was. I fell deeply in love with, I dove deeply.

Months pass and the sweet words flow and everything is fine and as soothing as things where, we were like the titanic. We graced through the water, we didn't see the iceberg coming, we felt it hit. We sank, so quick. One minute we were in love the next he was doubting. From someone who claimed that I was perfection in their eyes, from someone who stated they never wanted me to leave, he left. He tossed me aside, feelings invested, heart claimed, he left. He said we needed a break, said he wasn't feeling what we had anymore. And for so long I blamed myself, so many tears have I spilled. So many bruises cover my heart.

So I wonder, when you walk down the road you took when you left, will you ever stop dead in your tracks and want to run back to me? Will sorrow fill you up and tip you over and have you trying to wipe away all the sadness that has filled you up? Will you miss me and my pure love, my golden heart? Will you come back and snuggle next to me, your spot is as empty as ever since you left. More importantly, in your heart - was that the best choice you made? To leave someone who loves you, because truth be told, I still yearn for you. And I don't know if my heart will remain in the same spot you dropped it at. Will you be afraid when someone else has picked it up?
________________________________________

the winner of the jewelmint giveaway was... WINNIE! congrats!
make sure to check out jewelmint for this month's latest designs ♥

a mutual addiction

2011-12-15T23:42:00.001-05:00

Martyna Galla + Chuck Palahniuk quote

and then you came

2011-12-14T23:47:00.002-05:00

unknown source via imgfave

They say, the best people come in your life when you least expect it. I was depressed and my heart ached, and then you came. You taught me how to love and how important God was.

You had the answers to all my questions. I miss the way you told me bedtime stories on the phone. The hours we've spend texting about the most random things. I didn't even notice how I fell in love with you. With every part of you. I fell in love with your hair, your brown eyes and your crooked smile.

I fell in love with the way you've let me sleep against your shoulder. I got used to you, used to everything. Everyone said I changed. In only three months. No one could ever do what you did and I love you for that.

I love you so bad that I can't think of you without crying. It's like my heart is exploding and screaming your name. Over and over again.

I love you so much that I would donate my kidney to you. Because a life without you is no love. Without you, my dearest,my love...there's no me.

You're the brightest of all. The sweetest of all. And still i'm waiting, craving for the moment you ask me to marry you. I guess that's all I ever want. Marry you, share the same life, same bed, same house. To share with you is all I ever want to do. But even if the day won't come, and you find love in someone else... please know that you're the bluest sky.

Maybe God has other plans for both of us. Still I pray, each day, for us to get together someday.

Always yours, G.

i could get lost

2011-12-13T23:57:00.000-05:00

kneeseespieces + unknown

wonderful things can end

2011-12-12T23:14:00.000-05:00

weheartit

i have been working the same retail job for four years, and nothing exciting like this has ever happened. i met him on july 9, 2011. i was working my usual shift, helping no one and wasting my time away folding clothes when the most handsome guy walked through my store doors. he said he really needed help, that he was going to a wedding in an hour (ohh men) and he didn't have anything to wear. i graciously said i would offer help to this adorable guy, helping him choose a shirt and tie for his formal affair. throughout the process, we shamelessly flirted and exchanged simple bits of information with each other. he got my name and i got his. i then steamed his shirt, he paid and left. never asking me for my number, i felt silly and confused at the same time. what did i possibly do wrong? we hit it off so insanely well! nonetheless, i got on with my life and came back the following day for another long shift of folding clothes. this time, i was situated in the back room, counting and tagging merchandise, without exposure to the outside world. all of a sudden one of the girls that works with me came back and said, 'hey, your friend is here to talk to you'. now, i have no friends that stop by my place of work out of the blue, so with a puzzled mind i asked her who it was. she replied that it was the guy that came in yesterday looking for the shirt and tie. my heart stopped, my face grew red and before i knew it i was slinking out onto the sales floor after my prince charming. 'so, i'm assuming you have a boyfriend' that's the first line that came out of his mouth when i greeted him. i quickly replied no, and with a shocked face he preceded to tell me how he felt so stupid for leaving without asking for my number, and thought about me the entire time at this wedding. feeling like a thousand butterflies were fluttering about my stomach, he asked to take me to dinner, and i excitedly gave my number and told him i would love that. it was love at first sight, and i was convinced i found the one.

from here on out, things grew beautifully between us. he called me immediately and asked me to dinner. took me to the most adorable tuscan restaurant, and texted me as soon as i got to my car telling me he had the best time and couldn't wait to do this again. i know it sounds crazy, but after that first date i was head over heels, madly in love with a stranger. he was my soulmate, and i had been searching for him for so long.

within the next month, we had a great time. laughed, kissed, grew to knew each other and our families. everything seemed to be too good to be true. and with that being said, it was. things between him and i moved so quickly it was kind of unreal. within two months, things started to go downhill really fast. he wouldn't commit. he begged me to meet his parents, invited me to a wedding that was two months away, and told me that i was the one he wanted to marry. he said i was so different and so perfect, he cannot believe how lucky he was to find me. but, with all this being said, he did not want me as his girlfriend.

i shrugged it off a couple of weeks, but it soon began to eat me away inside. what was wrong with me? why didn't he want me? what was I doing wrong? i became obsessed with trying to figure out what the issue was, and with him being two years younger than i, and a junior in college, i figured it was just his immature age. he kept telling me things just went too fast, and he needed time to think about what he wanted. i let him give me this excuse for a couple of weeks, and then after two and a half months, and countless tears later, i called it quits. here i was, completely in love, with someone who told me he wanted me forever as his wife, and he didn't want me.

sometimes things work out, and sometimes they don't. maybe his and my timing was just off. because i know what we had was unreal. now, i am just happy to have experienced such a feeling of admiration and love....what i learned was that..wonderful things can end, even quicker than they began.

so damn emotional

2011-12-11T19:41:00.001-05:00

weheartit + unknown

i am not sure what love is

2011-12-09T19:07:00.003-05:00

sommerbrise

Sometimes I am not sure what love is. Sometimes I would find myself asking is this how love is suppose to feel?

There used to be days I was really sure what it is. Moment of first love that innocent fluttering feeling which comes out and lives within me with excitement made me confident this was probably was love was. Fresh and new and full of excitement. Then in the midst of smiles and laughter, tears came along..with anger and pain. What seem to me like it was everlasting love,flew out of the window in just a blink of an eye. Questions began to rise, isn't love suppose to be everlasting? or is it just a spur of the moment thing. Can you really lose love with time?

Second and third relationships ended up the same way. Things such as 'I felt love in the beginning, but somehow I lost it with you... you'd be better off with another better guy' became a common quote. Innocent image of love gets lost in the process. All you'd recall is just how 'love' doesn't last and that well maybe you just don't know what exactly love is.

Funny, how easy it is sometimes to forget all those happy moments you share with a person that you've build together for a period of time in just a blink of an eye... then later on only recall the pain which acts as the base for the defensive mechanism you unknowingly build around you. Sometimes I guess maybe I chose not to believe in love so I don't get hurt again.

I'm back again on the track but I am not sure what I am feeling is really love, or just a longing to be with someone, since I've seem to have a misconception. The image of love began to be blurry. What exactly it is begins to be uncertain. I doubt almost everything and just things flow, but I can't really feel like I am all there.

In the end I am still not sure.

i will if you will

2011-12-07T23:17:00.000-05:00

acessorestrito + unknown

"us"

2011-12-06T23:07:00.001-05:00

I have a need. A need to write it down, to get my feelings on this paper so I have something that I can hold on to. Because I am confused, so very confused, wandering around a dark room not knowing why or how I ended up in it. Like a cliché. So many stories that I read are applicable to mine, but still I feel a need to write my own story down, a substitute is just not good enough.

How can you not see what everyone else is seeing?

How can you not feel anything?

How can you not care?

My friends and our mutual class mates ask me why we aren’t seeing each other, why we haven’t become a “we” – just you and me. Every time I lie and tell them there’s nothing, tell them they see something that doesn’t exist. But every time I do that, a small part of my heart burns away with an ache so deep I don’t know how to get by. You started out trying to be my friend and we were pretty good at it, those were our glory days. It’s sad, because I truly believe that we could be something more. I’m just not sure you see it, because you don’t seem to care or even give it the slightest thought. Even though your best friend came to me and told me that he had asked you why you didn’t just walk up to me and made us an “us” - just you and me. You’re not bothered by the fact that everyone around us gives us looks, you can’t even talk with me about it. I can’t talk to you about it. I’m too scared, I’m so very frightened that it would make you disappear completely out of my life. I don’t want that. I’d rather be your friend and have you around, hear your voice, see you act up. But every time I find out that you’ve been texting with someone else or if some other girl comes up to you and you’re joking and laughing, this black, huge monster wakes up inside me. I can’t bare it, I can’t handle it. I wish so bad that you could see what everyone else is seeing, be a man about it and confront me, grow up. I’m afraid my heart will shatter if this monster has to wake up too often, I’m also afraid my heart will shatter if you don’t talk to me at all. But for now, it seems to me, that’s the best solution. I’ll stay out of your way, try to keep my distance and maybe my monster will go to rest. All I have to care about after that is to recover from not being with you at all. I’ll collect the pieces of my heart and try to glue it together again.

Although still praying, hoping, for a miracle. For me to be brave, or you to take in the obvious.

They say the last thing that leaves a human being is hope. For good and bad.

~E

love yourself

2011-12-05T23:33:00.000-05:00

mymodernmet

to feel about him the way he feels about me

2011-12-04T20:59:00.003-05:00

girly stuff

When the chance at a relationship fails, the closest the other person can get to you is being best friends... These words passed by me a few months ago and I hadn't taken much note of them until I realized what was going on. He calls me awake every morning, he sends me a good luck message before every single exam, he baked me brownies, he gave me roses, he constantly tells me I'm beautiful, he notices every little detail, he was there when my grandmother died, he was there when I was stressing about university admission, when we bicker he's always the first to apologize, he's respectful, he's honest, he adores my family, he adores me... So why can't I bring myself to feel about him the way he feels about me? I'm broken.

some beautiful place to get lost

2011-12-02T19:49:00.001-05:00

maus + unknown

this memory

2011-12-01T14:27:00.003-05:00

best quotes

I had a dream of you one night and it took me back to the time we spent together. Though I hadn't know you for long I felt so excited about you. I am sad that we had such a short time together, two weeks to one month tops. I don't remember anymore, it feels like it was such a long time ago. I did not love you, obviously you can't fall in love with a person you don't know, but I liked you and would have wanted to get to know you better. I haven't thought about you for ages, honestly I forgot about you, but this dream took you back into my thoughts, though only for a spare second. I remember our first and at the same time last kiss, so dynamic, we knew we wouldn't see each other again for a long time. I remember the time after you left when we messaged each other from time to time with lots of "I miss you"s and "Hope we could meet again"s, but that stopped after a time. For a reason I assume, we were really not ever going to be anything more with so many miles and countries between us. I don't even know if I wanted it to be anything more, it was just fun at the time being and now I know for sure I wouldn't want to change the way it all ended up, because now I can think about this as for what it is - a good memory. The time we saw each other again was just a tease, we didn't know what to do with each other so we ended up just talking about everything, it was for the best. I know you're not the greatest guy nor boyfriend material, but I've never chosen the easy way or the easiest guy to be with. It's all about passion, personality and not doing what people tell you you should do. This is not a "confession of love" or anything like that, I see it more like an official goodbye and a reminder of this memory I have if I would forget again.
-J

if you're a bird

2011-11-29T21:49:00.001-05:00

unknown via weheartit

unfinished business

2011-11-28T19:11:00.002-05:00

unknown via weheartit

I can’t get the hang of this. I’ve been typing and erasing and can’t decide how to write so I don’t know how it will turn out. My story is confusing, especially to me. You see, everything we’ve been through, it’s so baffling, intertwined and complexly stretched out that I can’t even put it into words. You know what they say about realising what you have only when you lose it? That’s exactly what happened.

I do not know when I realised it and it must have been a while after it ended... but as time went on and all our different aspects were becoming apparent to each other- for my part at least- I think I fell in love. Fell in love when I wasn’t even on talking terms with this other person.

The thing is that the actual 'relationship' was a short ordeal. We went out for a few weeks but after a while, it was abruptly cut short. All in all, it was a quick thing, too quick for us to properly adjust to each other. The worst part is that despite everything, we had a whole lot of 'moments' and little sweet memories that keep haunting you.

So for two years it’s been this mesh of an unfinished business, an unspoken of and non-verbal communication and many, many stupid mistakes. We used to see a lot of each other so it was painful. There was no way I could move on, especially me being so overwhelmed with his presence. Sometimes one of us made a move. We ignored each other- I don’t know why. We would then get mad with each other and that made everything worse. Cowards and bloody idiots!

Today, I do not know what will happen. Sometimes I feel so sad that two people can be so complimentary and yet clash so much at the same time. I used to get really sad about this. Twice I tried to contact him. Useless. Just as useless as his attempts were.

I have finally accepted the fact that the right occasion won’t ever come up. Not now anyway, I don’t ever see him. Which is good. At least I can have a good shot at moving on.

My final and concluding thought is that I really wish that it wasn’t for him the way it was for me. Because in that case it must have been bloody painful and I really don’t want him to have gone through all that.

I love you.

Despite everything.

when i'm talking to you

2011-11-27T19:19:00.001-05:00

Nich Hance + unknown

sometimes

2011-11-26T17:28:00.002-05:00

unknown

Sometimes it feels like a stick is squeezed between my collarbones, firm but gently, and a dull ache spreads all over my upper chest and throat. It can happen at any time and place, often when I am alone, though it occurs around other people as well. It feels like I am crackling from the inside, my breathing gets weaker, all of my muscles stiffens, my stomach turns and a chronic weariness rolls along. All I want to do is to crawl under my bed cover and pretend that a new ice age has arrived.

Sometimes is now, thank god, just sometimes.

but,

Sometimes I miss us, and what we could have become if grew along, not apart.

S, (sleepless) Sweden

i'd make you coffee

2011-11-25T13:10:00.002-05:00

unknown + rocketrictic

i'm not able to not LOVE you

2011-11-23T06:00:00.000-05:00

unknown

I wish it was easy to stop, to just make my hands and heart let go and tell them to rest before they latch on to the next guy that I compare to how perfect you are. I still love you so much because I loved you so much then, and I don't have a forgetful heart. You were perfect. You treated me so unbelievably perfect that my standards are now as high as they go. But it sucks, almost four years later and still you're the only one I want to be that good to me. There's just no one else. I'm not willing to push though and start loving anyone else, It's only you. Your rudeness, your sarcasm, I'd prefer it, I'd prefer it over any and every southern gentleman that shakes my hand that's still only longing for yours. I want you back, I wasn't ready to give you up then but you seemed so excited and ready for the change that I had to look like I was as strong as you. But you know me, you know i'm not ok without you. My happiness has been so little since we split. I LOVE YOU. I'm not able to not LOVE you. I don't want to not love you. Maybe these words will get me nowhere, I'll settle and deal. But always remember...It's the "tot" that counts.

S

caring about anyone else

2011-11-21T23:51:00.002-05:00

ffffound + unknown

technology, visits, and memories

2011-11-21T01:58:00.000-05:00

aliciarey

I don’t know why I find it hard to write about you. Perhaps when one has not written something meaningful in a while, it is just hard to write at all.

The second I saw you I was attracted to you; actually, that is an understatement. I thought you were one of the most attractive men I had ever seen. Then you opened your mouth and also had one of the most beautiful voices I had ever heard—soothing, proper, lovely.

Little did I know that years later you would play such a significant role in my life, nor such a confusing one. Above all else you are a wonderful friend. You are genuinely excited when something good happens to me and you’re empathetic when I’m going through a hard time.

Our obstacle is distance. I don’t know what life would be like if we lived in the same place. Maybe we would work, maybe we wouldn’t (although the thought of the latter is quite painful). Right now we have technology, visits, and memories. I just want you to know that I appreciate you and I am grateful for you, Stephen.

Love,
E

can you just fall in love with me?

2011-11-20T01:08:00.002-05:00

weheartit + unknown

so yes, keep those lovely memories with you

2011-11-18T23:03:00.002-05:00

unknown

I just came across this letter while cleaning out my computer files. Two
years ago I clearly realized that yes life does go on. And I am worth it.

Dear Sidney
Read this anytime you thought life was easy, or hard. “oh take me back to the start” said coldplay. Yes coldplay. The lovely piano that Nathan played for you. He doesn’t like you and its hard to hear. And yes he broke your heart but your worth better. Those drunken hookups were nothing, yeah they were fun but they are not going to get you anyone better than him– and that is what you deserve. So put on a smile. Don’t ignore the fact that your sad, or lonely. But move on. Wallowing does no good, and the memory is important. So yes, keep those lovely memories with you, because it is very unlikely your future husband will love coldplay, john mayer, and johsua radin as much as you do. But if he does, because he will be the best man for you and make you extremely satisfied and happy, look back with a smile at those times. Because you loved them. And they killed you but they were great. Watching the stars on the car, seeing him play at potbellies, driving with him. There were good times and you were friends but that is it. And he broke your heart but it will only make you love someone even more, because he won’t do that to you.

Sidney you’re beautiful and worth it. Don’t cry. Love you.

-Sidney

with you forever

2011-11-17T23:48:00.000-05:00

and-please-d0nt-f0rget + unknown

to look back on what was lost

2011-11-16T16:33:00.002-05:00

unknown via weheartit

C,

I know my words will likely fall on deaf ears, but if it’s the choice between wishing on a star and doing nothing, I’d take the star every time and hope that you might find my letter here and read it with an open heart. Most days in life are as forgettable as the next – things don’t change, people follow the same patterns and do the same things. It’s a rare day that goes to shape a person, the simply great moments and the truly horrible ones, that will last forever burnt into someone’s mind. It’s in these moments that we find who we truly are, and set ourselves on a course to be who we want to be.
You told me that when we met, you had never felt for someone what you felt for me. While I never told you, I felt the same incredible spark, that glowing feeling where everything around you is brighter, newer and in all ways better than before. You set me free, took me on adventure after adventure and showed me a side of life I had never imagined, and in return I showed you the same. We loved a love that has been written about to the point that every word about it is cliché. And that’s okay, because it’s the simplest and most powerful joy in human life. Never before has someone inspired me the way you did.
I do not blame you for walking away, far from it. The days that I would spend with you playfully became less common, the talks of dreams and seeing the world sparser, the basic act of listening which I did not fully comprehend yet was lacking, and in the end I failed to see the simple things you needed.
If there is one saving grace though for heartbreak and time alone, it’s that when the storm clears, we have the ability to look back on what was lost, to see mistakes made, and choose to better ourselves for it. I kept a wall up, and I have only myself to blame for that, but in this moment of letting my secrets go, my feelings for you are as simple as this – every day we spent together was the best day of my life. I know now that the love you gave to me – not the heart-skipping, pulse pounding excitement that I first had with you, but your desire to be with me that kept my heart aflame – was in all ways perfect. I know I’ve said you were perfect before, but I’m not sure I ever really explained that this is how I meant it. If I still had you with me today, not a single moment would pass that I wouldn’t make you feel the same.
I know I can’t make you choose to open your heart up to me again. But if I could now, I would make you feel that perfect love that you gave me. I would run wild with those clichés - I would be outside you office with flowers every day, I would take you on all those trips we planned, I would get lost with you in adventure, I would drive off into the sunset with you with no real direction and only the desire to spend time with you, to be with you, to make you smile that way that lights up the night. I know I won’t always be perfect, and I know I won’t always be new and fascinating, but given the chance I’d grab your hand and take you on the most incredible journey of a lifetime. If there’s one thing I wish you take from this note, in hopes that you find true happiness, it’s that you discover what those who have come before us and found happily ever after know - that the butterflies aren’t what define love, but are what lead you to it. Until then I’ll be waiting with butterflies.

Love,
P

we keep on living

2011-11-15T23:38:00.002-05:00

~ruuca

Dear You,

When you ended our relationship after I surprised you on your birthday, the future looked dismal to me. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to think or feel. Our relationship just felt like one big mess. I wanted to clean it up but I didn’t know how to start – too many things were said and done. But it’s been four months after the breakup and guess what? I’m standing on my own two feet and people say that I look better than I ever did when I was with you. Although it hurts sometimes and I miss you every single day, I am at peace and my world has never felt so put together... so right.

I compared my current healing process to the first one I had to go through when I was in high school. I must say, I did a much better job today. It took me almost a year to get over a silly, little high school boy but it took me just a few months to get over you, my first real boyfriend. I ask myself how I did it. Besides of course the wisdom that comes with age, I think I really had no choice but to make myself strong. If I did otherwise, I would probably be the most bitter and broken girl right now. The things you did to me were unfathomable. You swallowed me, you put me down, and towards the end you treated me like I didn’t matter. Anyone who had to go through that would probably have the same reaction as I did.

But that night you broke up with me and made me walk in the pouring rain, I realized that I couldn’t play the role of the victim anymore. I was sick and tired of it. So I toughened my heart and my head. I became my own friend and told myself that I didn’t deserve this. So the past four months has been all about that. More than getting over you, it was about finding me and allowing myself to be loved by me, my loved ones, and by God. You made me crumble during the relationship and I wasn’t going to allow that to happen again after the relationship. So I built my world again. And I continue to do so.

Although you have hurt me like no one has, I still love and miss you. I still wish that things could be different but they’re not. And you know what? This time, it’s okay. I just hope that one day we can be great friends again – just like the way it started out. In the meantime, I’ll pray for you and hope for the best for your life. And as for me, I’ll give myself what I deserve. That’s what survivors, warriors, and fighters do. We pick ourselves up and we keep on living.

Always, Me

you will be happy again

2011-11-14T23:51:00.000-05:00

ffffound + jiaxuan

somebody that i used to know

2011-11-13T23:58:00.001-05:00

"Somebody That I Used To Know" - Gotye ft. Kimbra

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

[Kimbra:]
Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
But had me believing it was always something that I'd done
And I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

[Gotye:]
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
And you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Somebody
(I used to know)
Somebody
(Now you're just somebody that I used to know)

like bubbles

2011-11-12T18:45:00.002-05:00

ph: unknown found via weheartit

I hereby stop thinking of boys. Stop thinking that "maybe there’s still someone out there for me", making up scenarios in my head about how I could meet someone, about how it would be to be with someone. I hereby stop falling in love with boys that do in fact exist, but which I give nonexistent fantastic personalities in my mind, without even knowing them. I will now stop doing all of this, thinking and dreaming about all of this. It’s only taking precious time that could be used in some other way. It’s only taking my energy and making me hope for things that cannot, and probably will not happen. These thoughts are like bubbles, hurting me when they break and when I realize that it was always only in my head and never for real. I hereby stop doing this. If I am to experience love, I want it to be for real. And if I’m not, well that sucks, but life goes on, and I like to believe that there’s more to it than falling in love. From now on, I’m going to stop making up all these dreams, and going to focus on the reality instead. Life can be so much more, and you have only one, so why waste it on this pointless dreaming. It may sound harsh, but I’m done with these dreams now. They give me nothing but a heartache.

I’m not giving up on love. And I know that dreams can be a wonderful way to escape reality. I just don’t want for them to take over. I don’t want to hold on to these dream-bubbles and make myself fly so high that I won’t survive the fall.

Sanna

so i never have to live without you

2011-11-11T23:49:00.000-05:00

Samhäll

up in flames

2011-11-10T23:19:00.000-05:00

c-loser

B,

Some people dream of slowly walking away in silence as something spectacular goes up in flames behind them. Like the number one thriller that everyone dreams could be their life. And here I am to say...I watched you walk that walk, while the flames simply engulfed me. I wasn’t ready to burn or be burned. No one knew to save me, except the one that lit the fire.

It’s magnificent from your view, but what about me. I’m too solid to be destroyed but God, this hurts, this hurts me more and more. I can’t find a place that isn’t marked with your perfection. I can’t find of clean piece in the wreckage to rebuild. But when it happens in a small town, the foundation never really disappears.

Give in...come back...and love ME. Stop looking, stop walking further into the distance. Come here and save me. I am telling you B that you will not ever find a heart that can withstand your flame. No heart can hold on this tight when all odds are pulling the other side. Turn around and look, I’m still here. There will never be a time when you turn around and don’t see me standing here.

You may have to walk back through flames but I’m the only one that can make it through them to love you when the smoke clears. Choose me, Love me.

S

i fell in love with a boy

2011-11-09T20:30:00.000-05:00

ssandraess + unknown

i'm not afraid to lead with my heart

2011-11-07T17:54:00.004-05:00

yokolorin

I don't remember the exact moment when I went from liking you, to loving you. I don't even think it was while we were still dating. I think it was after, after we'd been apart.

I think not dating while so many miles apart has advanced our relationship more than we ever expected, and the fact that it has without our pushing for it- is inspiring.

(I pushed, secretly, I kept pushing for it).

But I do remember when I went from loving you, to that ridiculous, head over heels, heart physically aches, what so many artists sing about, writers scribble about, kind of love. The kind of love that makes me cry and want to watch The Notebook or listen to I Swear by Boys 2 Men over and over and over. I remember, because it was a week ago.

And quite frankly, it shocked me. There was this energy, running through my whole body, that just made me want you, all of you. I couldn't deny it, or hide from it. I let it wash over me. I missed you, and you were about five feet from me.

But with it, came the greatest fear I've ever known.

I know you love me, but I know you haven't made it to that place- that kind of love, yet.

I'm afraid you won't. I'm afraid your too concerned with not doing the wrong things, that you will end up missing the chance to do the right things. I'm afraid you are waiting for a sign that isn't going to come. I'm afraid you won't ever take a chance on me.

For me, this is easy. I'm not afraid to lead with my heart. I'm not afraid to show my emotions, to be honest, to be vulnerable. True love deserves that.

This is a risk. I want to take it with you. I just wish you'd want to take it with me.

It is a risk to love.
What if it doesn't work out?
Ah, but what if it does?
-Peter McWilliams

---

ps- don't forget to enter the JEWELMINT xo ring givaway >> check it out HERE!
i will be announcing a winner this week!
xo

a daydream away

2011-11-06T17:26:00.000-05:00

grayeyesclosed + unknown

to love you in the way you need

2011-11-05T16:47:00.002-04:00

weheartit

You just left my apartment, just moments ago. You confided in me, fears about her. The girl who stole your heart years ago. The girl who destroyed it and for the past 18 months has kept pieces of it across the ocean. Now she's returning, and you'll return to her.

You're my best friend. Our simple, casual friendship grew letter after letter, visit after visit. The past four month you've been by my side. I like who I am when I'm with you. I was starting to loose pieces of me, you brought them back. You helped me put myself together and I love you for that. Now it is time for me to be there for you. You are going to go back to the girl that broke you, if she'll have you. You won't admit it, but we both know what is about to happen. It may work out for a while, but eventually you'll be left more messed up than before. You are lost and likely to have your heart broken in the next 10 days. There is an easy way to avoid this heart ache, but you were never one to take the easy way. I like that about you.

I'm afraid of seeing your torn apart. I'm afraid of loosing my best friend. Sadly those are the two option. I want you to be happy, perhaps more than I want me to be happy. I guess that means, if it was up to me....I would choose to loose you. I would choose to watch you be happy. However if she breaks, I will be there to collect the pieces and put you together again. Fix you like you fixed me.

No matter how the next few weeks pan out. You should know how this whole situation would end if we lived in a chick flick. I would win. She would come home, you would turn her down and run to me. You would confess your love to me and we would ride off into the sunset, or in our case ride off to graduate school. Since we live in reality, I am willing to love you in the way you need me to.

don't talk to me

2011-11-03T23:51:00.002-04:00

marina karpiy + unknown

2 years

2011-11-02T23:26:00.000-04:00

unknown

Dear R,

2 years of beautiful. That's how I look at it. 2 years of something really fucking spectacular. Hell, we weren't perfect. There were dark days and days that I thought the sun couldn't compare to us. But we were this funky twist of fate that turned into a bond that couldn't be denied, only relished and cherished. Our end wasn't pretty. It wasn't simple. It wasn't painless (they never are). We both did things I thought we'd never do, in good ways and bad. We tried to recreate those 2 years, to go back there and steal maybe one more glint of light from that spark. But it wasn't the same, and after many trials, many different outcomes, we are over. It took something really big to show me that-that it was different, that our 2 years were something so incredible they couldn't be duplicated. But I want you to know, I want this to reach you-in losing you as my boyfriend, my lover, I finally see, after these months of indecision and fear (and hell, i'm still scared now) that i miss you as a person more than anything. The best friend I had in you is the part that I never want to lose. Our 2 years of beautiful are worth an eternity of memories, and the friendship that comes out of being that to someone, should never be lost. I'm not sure when we'll find what works, how we can still be close and not get hurt. But I hope we get there. I really hope we do. So know from here that I still love you, that I would always do anything for you and a large piece of my heart will always be yours. 2 years of fucking beautiful, R, really fucking beautiful. Thank you for those. Go out and live, show the world what I was lucky enough to see. I love you, forever kid.

Always,
S

flashbacks

2011-11-01T23:43:00.000-04:00

Sandy_Vdo + 9gag

see me too

2011-10-31T18:42:00.001-04:00

anjoperfeito

I don't really care if anyone sees this or not, it's not really the kind of thing to get published. I just had to say it- I'm in love. That's it, just love! And he doesn't know, and he can't know. The consequences our relationship would create I'm savy enough to understand, and God knows what he thinks of me day to day since I'm so much younger and dumber, but I don't care. I'm past caring. Every little ambiguous feeling of doubt that hung around, that still has reason to hang around, is slowly being dismantled because I realize the truth. Ego rem intellecto. If I could scream it on rooftops I would. And I want him to know because if he points out one more guy or girl that I should date I think it might come out anyway.

I want you. It is you! and I think it's only ever going to be you. Not in that 'I'll never find anyone else' sort of way, but I'll never find anyone as interesting, intelligent, witty, funny and perfect for me again. Sometimes I just stare in wonder, and you see it, and look at me like I'm crazy. But you don't understand how crazy I am for you. No one knows. No one needs to know. I'm up and I'm down and in and out and I've realized I don't want it any other way. It's you. It's always been you. I loved you before I knew you. Yes, it happens, even if we're not together.

This isn't a good story, you're just that person I talk to and can't touch. The one who I'll either marry or think about when I'm marrying someone else. I don't necessarily know what true love is, but you've got the rhythm that matches mine. Turn around one day and let me know if you see me too.

did I miss out on you?

2011-10-27T21:33:00.001-04:00

Intuition by Feist

What gives what helps the intuition?
I know I'll know
I won't have to be shown
The way home
And it's not about a boy
Although although

They can lead you
Break or defeat you

A destination known
Only by the one
Who's fate is overgrown
Piecemeal can break your home in half
A love is not complete with only heat

And they can tease you
Break or complete you

And it came a heat wave
A merciful save
You choose you chose
Poetry over prose
A map is more unreal than where you've been
Or how you feel
A map is more unreal than where you've been
Or how you feel
And it's impossible to tell
How important someone was
And what you might have missed out on
And how he might have changed it all
And how you might have changed it all for him
And how he might have changed it all
And how you might have changed it all for him

Did I, did I
Did I, did I
Did I, did I
Did I, did I
Did I did I miss out on you?

stay a little longer

2011-10-27T00:21:00.002-04:00

meuperfil3 + unknown

JewelMint x Le Love Giveaway

2011-10-26T01:58:00.007-04:00

Hey guys! I wanted to take a moment out from regular posting to do a little something fun!
I am hosting a giveaway with JEWELMINT! A lucky reader will win the lovely XO rings above ♥

JewelMint is a member only jewelry club with exclusive pieces designed by actress Kate Bosworth and her stylist, Cher Coulter. It's a great personalized way to shop for jewelry- you take a quick style quiz and then designs are chosen for you every month based on your fashion personality profile. The best part is it's super affordable! Head over to JEWELMINT to find out more and to check out all the other beautiful designs. In fact, now's the best time...

Beyond the giveaway, JEWELMINT is offering a special promo code to my readers!
New members can use the code: LELOVE to receive 50% off their first piece! (expires 11.25.11)

To enter the XO rings giveaway make sure to leave your name and email in the comments!

Good luck!

xo

all the single ladies

2011-10-25T17:37:00.002-04:00

I came across an interesting article from Atlantic Monthly that I wanted to share with you...

Recent years have seen an explosion of male joblessness and a steep decline in men’s life prospects that have disrupted the “romantic market” in ways that narrow a marriage-minded woman’s options: increasingly, her choice is between deadbeats (whose numbers are rising) and playboys (whose power is growing). But this strange state of affairs also presents an opportunity: as the economy evolves, it’s time to embrace new ideas about romance and family—and to acknowledge the end of “traditional” marriage as society’s highest ideal.
By Kate Bolick

you can read the whole article >> HERE

found via Gala Darling ♥

looking ahead

2011-10-24T22:46:00.002-04:00

imgfave

It’s amazing what I put the one I love through.

Honestly.

I’m so sorry, sweetheart.

I’m fine, and all of a sudden my insecurities are touched, and C the Bitch comes out to play.

And I know I’m not the first to realize that getting so near-and-dear in a relationship suddenly brings out the worst in you. Is it really the worst? Or is it that your significant other suddenly has access to your greatest hopes and fears? Oh, how often you’re split! How you throw your shoulders back, taking poised steps, oozing with appeal, and in the same day sob into your pillow and hold your middle and scorn your belly fat, completely itching to be outside of your own skin.

Now, you’ve slowly given over to letting that person in, letting him in, letting him in, ‘til all in one instant you realize he has access to your very tender heart. The inner workings of your brain are now laid open for him to dissect. And strangely, he is still there. Through all your tumultuous mood swings and honest-to-god shit.

And then you wonder (maybe YOU don’t, ye reader, but I sure do…) when the day will come that he will discover something that he actually can’t handle. Maybe the way you, American girl, twirl your pasta around your fork (instead of poshly and precisely twisting it into a spoon) will finally push him over the edge of insanity. Maybe one day the cute accent in which you pronounce the not-quite-yet familiar German vocabulary will no longer be as adorable as he thinks it is now.

Maybe one day he’ll realize that all the things from your past are always, always going to be there. Maybe not in the room, sitting haughtily on your couch and laughing as you try to have a genuine and fresh conversation. Maybe not in the field overlooking the city sunset as you whisper sweet things. But sometimes they come walking around the corner when you least expect them. Sometimes they turn up in familiar old smells and sporadic old songs and childhood rooms. And then, lady. Then you are done for. They never call and warn you of their short and slicing visit. You´ll bleed and bleed for days. Sooo slowly, that scab forms. And they laugh bitterly, those songs and smells and rooms, because they know there is nothing you can do about the surprise damage to your person. You don´t want to have to always be prepared for the storm.

And I forgot, until a few days ago, how being in a relationship means one is now responsible for how her actions and emotional release of inhibition so directly affect the mien of her companion.

I don’t like to be this way.

I’m not the vulnerable type, though I feign it quite easily. I’m open, very open! But only to a certain extent, that I can control. Love is letting go of that control and jumping off that cliff without a parachute. It’s a beautiful and terribly scary thing. He can’t promise never to hurt me. He’s human. He can’t promise never to leave~ one day, someday, maybe sooner but hopefully later, death will take both of us. He can’t promise me security and stability, though we both have dreams of what this life could be. He can promise me tomorrow as much as I can promise never to get in a car accident. Oh, but I want him here with me forever…

Why do I feel like, I am too happy? That the only reason I am happy is because it isn’t going to last?

I asked you that, the other day…and you said “shh, shhh, mein Sonnenschein. I’m looking ahead and all I know is that there’s you and me, and it’s bright and beautiful.”

Life with you will be far too short.

~C

i'll wait

2011-10-23T23:00:00.000-04:00

sensuality art + weheartit

to fall for the wrong guy

2011-10-22T17:36:00.002-04:00

unknown

This is so hard for me to express, but at the same time it's killing me inside, so here I go...

My boyfriend and I have near a year and a half together, everything was perfect until the worst happened. When I was introduced to his family and we spent time together, all of us, it was cool. Unfortunately, his younger brother, who's also my age, and I became close friends. His brother studies the same major I do, and as time passed I realized that wasn't the only thing we have in common. The three of us used to hang out, a lot, so I couldn't help but noticing how different both of them were. I'm not really sure how this happened but I came to the point where I convinced myself that his brother was kinder than my boyfriend. When I arrived to that point, his brother and I started spending some more alone time together. My boyfriend constantly thought that everything I care about was shallow, but his brother did not think so, we shared the same interests. My boyfriend is afraid of almost everything (and so am I), but his brother is fearless... and that is one of the coolest things about him. I think of him as a bright mind, and my boyfriend doesn't even wanna go to college, he has already dropped once. His brother and I share the passion for the same fruits and vegetables, my boyfriend hates them both.

I realized, that sometimes he wanted to make physical contact, like touching my hands or huggin' me just because, and I tried to look cool when that kind of things happened, but I wasn't cool about it. He always waited for me outside my classroom, so it kinda made my friends wonder. Some of my not so close friends thought he was my boyfriend. It got worse on my birthday, he asked what I wanted him to wear, so I told him. That day, I was kind of upset so my boyfriend tried to comfort me. But when his brother came, with just one look he knew how upset I was. His brother and I ate a piece of cake out of the same plate, and I'm sure I felt he caressed my hand. He also hugged me a lot, and told my boyfriend I was his, of course my boyfriend get a little bit upset, but that was it. There's always and excuse for him (and me) to touch hands, and I'm not sure where this is all going. My relationship with my boyfriend it's just not the same, sometimes I feel we're just two worlds apart. His brother has never had a girlfriend, of friend with benefits or anything in his life, it kinda makes him more interesting. One time he told me that we should have met before, and I started wondering. Staring at him, listening to him is beyond real. I really don't know what to do, maybe I'm just exaggerating things, but all I know is how I wanted to stop time at the very same moment he's hugging me or touching my hands. I'm not a bad person I just happened to fall for the wrong guy.

If anyone has and advice for me please, let me know, cuz its one of the worst feelings.

where your mind goes

2011-10-21T11:00:00.001-04:00

hwryttarna

never going to go away

2011-10-20T16:49:00.002-04:00

brian oldham

It doesn't feel weird to wake up without you anymore. Sometimes I feel terrible, sometimes fantastic, but it doesn't depend on you anymore. I can take as much time as I want in the morning - I can choose to get dressed as fast or slow as I want to and I can run out the door without having to pull you with me. My glass of water is mine only and is not emptied by somebody else.

But as you can see, I think about you.

But still… not.

I think about the person you were when I still had the energy to love you and you still hadn't crushed us. You were so damn egoistic when you treated yourself like shit. You never understood that we were bound together in the heart and that I was just as hurt as you when you threw yourself around like garbage. The concrete tore up both our bodies. Not just yours.

I don't think about who you are today. I don't miss the one you probably are now. I don't miss who you wanted to be or become.

Sweet you is missing. Gorgeous you. Handsome you. Annoying you. Restless you. Easily embarrassed you. Cuddly you. Morning moody you. Giggling you. Loving you. Real you! Everything you were, with all the negative and annoying behavior you brought with you.
On the inside, you never were something negative. I don't know whom you gave the right to change your personality, but it never really fit with the person I loved so sincerely. You changed shape, in some way. Became somebody else from time to time. Someone I didn't love at all.

Hell, I was so sick of you. And of me.

Maybe mostly of me. I disliked us so much in the end. Everything was so hard.
Only a few things were beautiful. Most things were just so damn ugly. And me! Angry, mad, cranky, sad, hurt, sarcastic, mean. I was everything that I'm not. And full of despair. So terribly full of despair, like I'd never been before.
For five years, my home was in your arms.

I love my life. Yes, I actually do. Despite everything. And can you believe it - I love my life even though you're not here with me!

I confess that I occasionally still feel like I'm dying when I realize that we're no longer… you know… Us. I can never deny that you were my other half. Neither can I deny that you're missing.

I nevertheless think that I now finally, finally, finally have reached the point where I want to leave you behind. I want to move on. I want to go on with my life. I want to look out ahead without seeing you everywhere, all the time.

It's going to take some time before I finally will, but I've taken a step in the right direction.
I want to move on now. And that's what's important.

But damn.

Damn, I loved you so much.
Damn, I always will.

And damn…
The pain is never going to go away.

/ Tanja

and then i met you

2011-10-19T17:43:00.001-04:00

unknown + weheartit

make your way back to me

2011-10-18T23:27:00.000-04:00

eusobreviviontem

I don't know how to start, so I’ll just say everything that comes to my head. It been one rough year and I know I haven't made it easy. I took it to a point, where you feel you're better without me. I finally got the one thing that I wanted and I blew it. I let so much things from my past get the best of me. You tried to take on everything that I was giving but it was too much. I put too much on you. I just want to say that I love you and I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry that I didn't turn out to be the person I should have been. I've loved you since I was 16, you've been my everything. I know there is no choice but to walk away, I need to work on me and you also need to do the same. My heart is broken and I feel lost. I'm going to work real hard on getting myself better and I'm going to trust whatever it is that brings us together. I still believe you were made for me and I was made for you. We just keep doing it at the wrong time. So I'm telling you this one more time. Make sure you find your way back to me; I don't care if your 80 by then, I don't care. Make your way back to me because my arms are your home. I love you with my whole being. I promise you next time I will get it right and if it doesn't come... I’ll still be waiting in our next life time. I love you babe and as you see, I don't care if the whole world knows it. I'm sorry for the stress, drama. All I ever wanted was to love you. I’ll keep moving forward because my heart has hope. One day you will come back and we will live happy ever after. Until then... like I've told you before, if you feel lonely, sad or hurt, go to our special spot. the moon and I’ll be waiting for you. You can always catch me there, waiting for you...

where my heart is

2011-10-17T20:39:00.001-04:00

weheartit + jane eyre

i want to tell you how much I love you.

2011-10-16T17:23:00.003-04:00

weheartit

I don't want to feel afraid anymore.
I want to tell you how much I love you. In a way it doesn't seem too big to handle, in a way it doesn't seem too small to be cast aside, in a way it doesn't seem like a total joke, in a way it doesn't seem like it's just another bundle of words together. But I don't know how to. How to tell you I love you in the way I would want it to come out. I want to see the anticipation from your face before I can even say these words out. I want to see the smile slowly emerging out from that little face of yours. I want to feel the butterflies in your stomach. I want to know you feel the same way too.

Sometimes I feel "I love you" is too short a phrase for all that to be evident.

the art of letting go

2011-10-14T21:03:00.003-04:00

unknown

to say all of this to you

2011-10-13T23:40:00.000-04:00

weheartit

I remembered the first time you picked me up in that stupid car of yours & made my sit in silence until your hour of silence was up. I remember the time we met in the parking lot and you listened to me cry. I remember kissing you that night. I remember breaking your heart because not being with you was breaking mine. I remember seeing you walk into that coffee shop 6 months later and feeling like a piece of my heart was complete again. I remember those late nights. I remember wanting to call you the second I left your side. I remember all the phone calls. I remember everything you said. I remember your sweet kisses. I remember falling in love with you, and never telling you. I remember leaving for school. I remember pushing you away. I remember the regret that I felt the second we got off the phone that night after I said goodbye. I remember the tears hitting the floor. I remember that last phone call..."I'm dating someone."

My heart was ripped right out of my chest. I could picture spending the rest of my life with you. Kissing you on that bridge in Paris. Staying all day in bed with you. And now you have all of these dreams with her. She's beautiful. She seems great. Which kills me, of course. But I'm happy that you are happy. I'm not happy that she's the one making you happy. I couldn't give you everything that she can right now. I'm so far away from you. It's the worst feeling. I feel like I have my hands tied behind my back and my mouth covered with tape. If I could just see you. If I could just talk to you. You would see, I'm becoming the woman that I'm supposed to be. I wanted you to be a part of my growth. A part of my change. I miss you more than anything. I don't know if I'll ever be able to say all of this to you, face to face.

But I guess this just serves as a lesson. Never let go of something that means the world to you. I don't care how scared you are. I don't care how lazy you are. I don't care about your pride. Fucking fight for the things that you love.
-r

love someone.

2011-10-12T20:17:00.001-04:00

unknown

I love you. I love you. I love you.

2011-10-11T23:57:00.000-04:00

weheartit

My dearest Trouble,

I love you! Why should I wait until the end of the letter to tell you? I love you. I love you. I love you. That's what I wanted to tell you. And that's why I'm writing this letter.

We haven't been together for long, about 7 months now, but in those seven months I have changed. I have become a completely different person. Not because you wanted me to be different, but because you love me the way I am. You help me to not swallow down my emotions, but to speak them out loud and to act on them. You help me to feel good about myself because I am beautiful. You help me with everything. You are always there for me and you make me feel "needed" because you count on me.

Some weeks ago we had to part because we both study in different cities, in different countries. I was afraid, so afraid. But not anymore. Here in Germany we say "Geteiltes Leid ist halbes Leid" (A problem shared is a problem halved). So even though I miss you every day, knowing that you miss me too, helps me. Thank you for showing me every one of your faces because I love them all! I love you when you are happy, when you are sad, when you are angry or when you are disappointed. Every time I say "I love you", that's exactly what I mean - I love the whole you!

And before this letter gets too long, I will tell you again. I love you my Trouble! You mean the world to me and I will never let you go, not matter how far or for how long we will be apart.

Yours always,
Monkey

things you cannot control

2011-10-10T23:52:00.000-04:00

weheartit

let me know

2011-10-09T18:55:00.002-04:00

Aleksandr Kutakh

Never thought I would be in this position. Remembering every touch, every single word. How my heart always raised when I looked into your eyes. Our sharing of cigarettes and serious talk. Laughter. Kisses. Hugs. Your hands around my body when spooning. Your smell.

For these seven months, my world has been revolved around you. Even though your world didn’t seem to have anything to do with me during this time, until yesterday. Telling me that you have to fix things, that you’re not perfect-but you’re willing to try, how you are longing for my hugs. Ending the conversation with me asking for you-without an answer. Texted you this morning, asking if your night had been a bit hazy-no answer.

You have been making my mind go crazy for seven months, still are. With this being the worst time ever. I want you, I want to try. Me standing here with my hands down, ready to take the punch. I want to know if you’re willing to try, or if these precious times together for me, have been nothing but a good way to spend a few hours. Let me know, the sooner the better.

you never entirely recover

2011-10-08T22:25:00.004-04:00

it's her minutiae

something i have to do for me

2011-10-07T23:23:00.000-04:00

weheartit

D,

I’m writing this letter to tell you goodbye. I will never admit to writing this, much less ever give it to you, but this is something I need to do for myself. After our nearly four-year story, I’m letting go. You let go a long time ago, and I realize that it is time for me to do the same. I’m letting go of everything I thought that we would become. I’m letting go of thinking of you every single day, more than once. I’m letting go of secretly hoping that we will one day end up together. I’m letting go of waiting. I have realized once and for all that I am not meant to be with you. You know how much I cared about you, so I will not go into that in this letter. I have told you how I feel about you for years. I allowed you into the deepest part of my heart. I allowed you to know me better than I knew myself, and for that I am extremely regretful. I have learned that no girl should ever open up as far as I opened up to you. Nothing is forever, and there is no reason to be so vulnerable. I gave you parts of myself that have taken many months to get back. I put you above myself…something that I will never do again for the rest of my life. I am my top priority, no one else. I look back on our relationship and sometimes find myself wishing that it never happened. I’m not sure if I actually mean that, because, after all, everyone says it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I’m not so sure though, because you hurt me in a way that I didn’t know was possible. I loved you with every single part of me. And when we were over, I felt as if I had lost all of those thousands of parts. You left me broken... I still feel broken sometimes. Maybe we went wrong because of the timing. Maybe it’s because we were still growing into ourselves, although I guess there is no use in speculating why things worked out the way they did. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. I want you to know I think you are an amazing person. I don’t blame you for the way you hurt me. I recognize that was not your intention. I know you will do great things in life, and you deserve every inch of it. God has taught me so much about myself this past year. In hindsight, I consider our break up a blessing. But, despite the fact that I have been growing a lot, I still have a lot of healing to do. In order to do that, I need to tell you goodbye. Because every time I make the decision to be your friend, I fall harder. When you kiss me, or call me, it is different to me than it is to you. I have learned that the way I care about you is much deeper than your present feelings for me, and I can’t truly move on until I cut you out of my life completely. I hope you don’t take this the wrong way. This is something I have to do for me, in order to love myself again, and someone else. Thank you for everything you have taught me. It’s been a long, crazy ride. Goodbye, D.

Best Wishes & Love Always,

M

a huge hug

2011-10-06T23:59:00.001-04:00

yourslovelyfull

love is not on my side

2011-10-05T23:55:00.000-04:00

unknown

I thought I knew how it felt. I thought I had memorized the feeling of not being happy, of wanting more, of being ajar. I thought I had settled for this second skin; the acceptance that sometimes it just isn’t a choice. It is a luxury to be able to feel what you wish to feel, and more often than not, life cannot afford such ease.

The problem with being a dreamer, a writer, a poet, is not that they feel more than everyone else. It is that they cannot escape from it. All the pain, ache and explosions,- others can dismiss as merely a feeling that cannot be contained. But for us, there are endless words to describe the way we feel, to actualize the feeling, to give it existence, to gravitate them. The irresistible impulse to label everything, to get to the bottom of every unexplainable feeling is crippling. To live as a writer is non-apologetic. Everywhere that you try to escape to, is aesthetically numb. Even when you do not see what reminds you of it, words are running madness inside your head.

This is about existing within a world where love is not on my side. This is about struggling every day to stay afloat. This is about my greatest love story. I thought I knew how it felt. I had made a pact with myself that I have no other choice. But that doesn’t mean it makes it any easier to live with. Heartstrings are broken whenever I think to myself, we may be so right for each other, but there will never be a way to find out. So many things remind me of you that not a day goes by that I am able to be completely content. The problem with being a dreamer, is that I feel too much for my own good. When I think about us, I feel dismantled, familiar, damaged and every imaginable adjective in between. There is no other person as capable as you to destruct, love and forgive me. You may never understand it, but it is just a truth that I must live with.

The idea of being happy is extraordinary. Sometimes I dream of not feeling. Of just existing. Of not being physically able to hurt inside. I did not choose to be a person that feels too much, or someone that is compelled to write word after word after word. Every time I think I could be content, something thrusts me back into a higher feeling that I cannot control. I thought I knew how it felt, how everything is, how people are, but I cannot will my heart to think the same.

the most beautiful

2011-10-04T21:49:00.003-04:00

weheartit + unknown

worth the wait

2011-10-03T23:29:00.002-04:00

Psiu_teamo

The moment I woke up I turned around and looked into your eyes. You were already awake. ”Stay with me” I whispered with my almost non existing morning voice. ”I want to” you said. ”but i cant”. You kissed my dry lips and put your hand over my face. We looked into each others eyes, and with only an hour til you were leaving I knew there was nothing I nor you could do about it. But i still whispered ”please?”. We made love and got dressed. Took pictures of ourselves standing in front of the window. The morning light was painting the room with a beautiful colour. You packed your bags while I showered. then I got dressed while you showered. We were both kinda quite. Once in a while we would laugh about something, hug each other for a few seconds while I repeated the same words, or just look at each other. But most of the time we were busy waking up. None of us are morning people.

Outside it was snowing. You carried your heavy suitcase up the hill and i took the lighter one. We got on the bus and got off at the station where the other bus was gonna pick you up. I leaned against your shoulder and a couple of tears rolled down my cheek. You touched my face and said ”don't cry”. I tried to say goodbye maybe 5 times, pulling myself away from you. But every time I came back, held you close and said the same words over and over again. ”I don't want you to leave. please stay”.

This could be a sad story but its not.

I found real love.

The real real love. Not the kind that will make you cry at night, or ask yourself why he said that, or kissed that other girl, or why he isn't sure about us. The real L-O-V-E. The person I know will love me for the rest of my life. I know it sounds crazy. I thought I found that in those other boys when I met them to. But I was wrong. And this feeling is so different. Its trust. I am calm. For the first time in years.

I went to work. I turned around a couple of times, and you waved at me. At work I kept busy and I laughed. Then I came home and your smell hit me like a wall when I entered my apartment. There were flowers on the kitchen table, a few things in the bathroom that you forgot. The sheets were messy. But the apartment felt so empty. I wish I could wake up tomorrow morning, turn around and whisper "Please stay". My small bed suddenly feels so big. But I know one day I will be able to turn around every morning and you will be there, and you will stay. And even though I miss you every second and every minute, for that, it is worth the wait.

come away with me

2011-10-02T17:58:00.002-04:00

ffffound + unknown

friends with benefits

2011-10-01T21:47:00.002-04:00

StevanFane

There you go. You're in my head. I can't get you out, you're in there eating away at all my thoughts, clouding my judgements, just taking over everything. My imagination is running wild, we already had numerous dates in my head and plenty of conversations. You've already told me how beautiful you think I am and we had our first fight. I met your friends and they think I'm great. You let me beat you in your favorite video game and you saw me cry during a sad movie. You held my hand and pulled me in for a sweet kiss.

Then I bring myself back to earth and realize its just in my head. And when I wake up in your bed I know its time to go home because there's nothing there that's holding me back. The moments pleasure is gone. I give you a light kiss goodbye and spend the rest of my day thinking about you and how it could be.

never regret you

2011-09-29T23:11:00.000-04:00

inspire please + unknown

i remember you

2011-09-29T18:14:00.002-04:00

weheartit

Two years ago, I met a wonderful boy. He was a friend to a friend of mine, and he was visiting this friend for about a week. I had talked to him two or three times before in some chat or something, but it was nothing special about him I thought, before the first time I met him.

He lived in the country next to mine. It seems close. But it isn't. Anyway, two years ago I was heading to the local supermarket, to met this incredible boy and my friend.
A summer day when the sun shined and made everything beautiful, the food tasted better, the music sounded better, and everything was shining and the world was golden.

The first time I saw him it was love at first sight. I blushed. His eyes was blue, but also a bit green. And his hair was blonde. Dark blonde. The way he walked, and the way he talked. Everything about him was extraordinary and I couldn't stop wanting to know everything about him. His middle-name and if his mother still called him sweetheart.

I didn't expect anything. I didn't want anything. I didn't know anything. I just knew that the second our eyes met I couldn't see anything else. So we stared at each other. Long. And that day we walked around and talked to each other about everything and anything. He sang like an angel and had the brains of an professor. He had humor, and everything anyone could ask for. The only weakness he had was that he believed he wasn't memorable. I fell in love in just a couple of days with every little part of him, and he sat outside my door as soon as the sun rised and we walked around my little town next to the sunrise. After that we would run away and swim, or grab an ice cream in the sun. We often just listened to music and talked for hours. Talked til the sun was about to go down and the sky painted it self red.

On the last night before he was going to leave me and my heart who already belonged to him we walked along the beach. With the sunset as our background. He held my hand and I held his, as hard as I possibly could. We climbed up a cliff and sat down. He hugged me, embraced me with every part of him. Kissed my forehead. We didn't say anything. Just sitting next to each other felt safe. More safe then anything else. We knew it was the end. Of this. Of what I thought life was about. He would be to far away. And the sun was about to go down and I wanted it to stay up more than I ever wanted anything. So that the next day would never come, and he would never leave. I wanted him to stay so badly I almost couldn't feel myself breath.
Somehow I must have fallen asleep in his arms, because the next morning I woke up in my own bed. He was gone. The only thing left was a letter in a envelope with my name on it.

"Angela,
I carried you home when the sun was down. When you're reading this I'm probably on the train, on my way home.
I didn't expect this. I didn't expect to fall in love with a girl, a wonderful, beautiful girl, in Sweden in less than a week. Cause that's what happened.
I'm in love with you. You. You. You. I don't know much. But you own my heart, even though you're one country away. Doesn't that say alot?

We're young and we're stupid, but it hurts me that I can't be stupid with you. I would leave everything at home to just be with you, even though it sounds dumb.
I know. It wouldn't work. We can't be together. We're too far away from each other. We have so different life's, so different dreams and wishes. But our hearts are the same. Beating for the other. My heart is always going to beat a bit harder for you. I hope you know that, that you will always be a piece of me, everywhere you go.
I didn't have the time to say it before I had to go, but.. I've never met anyone like you. Ever, and I think I love you. Or, I know I do. I love you.

Write me. And please, remember me."

When I'm writing this it's been two years. We've had others. Loved others. But somehow, we're back to this. In love again.

...........

F,

If you're reading this, I remember you.
I'll always remember you, and when you call me in the middle of the night just to sing a song or when I wake up and read your long emails, or when I take a walk down the beach we sat by just to remember you a little bit more, I remember you so much it hurts, but it feels good knowing you'll always be close. Even though you aren't here.

You are and always will be a person no one ever will forget.
Lots of love, Angela

before you

2011-09-28T23:46:00.000-04:00

stumbleupon

whether we're together or not

2011-09-27T23:49:00.000-04:00

unknown

I've liked you for two years. All those English lectures together, the studying, the endless nights of coffee and laughter...

I haven't said anything, of course. I'm far too chicken for that. I'm the kind of person who would just be someone's friend, if that's what they wanted, if they loved someone else I would still be there, being their friend. Even if my heart was totally breaking. I would've waited for you. I would've accepted that there was someone else.

So, then you kissed me Saturday night, two weeks ago. It was the most beautiful night of my life - well, up until now anyway. We danced, and you put your arm around me, and as we sat on the steps in the middle of the city you kissed me. That's when I knew my heart was yours. I wouldn't hide away anymore because you wanted me, and I knew it. You told me, as we sat in the Irish bar with 90s music playing around us, that you've fancied me for a while. And I shyly said "I know. And I have too". It was awkward, but it was perfect.

So we spent time together, we kissed, we drank coffee and laughed and held hands, and you said that you were worried that you made me feel awkward. You were worried that you were making me do something I didn't want to do. I looked at you, stunned, and said "No way!" and kissed you. It couldn't be further from the truth.

But now we're at a stage where we don't know whether we're together or not. We are not quite an item, but we hang out a lot and we kiss. I like you so much, I can't really say. I think about you all the time. All I really want is for us to be together. And for the first time in my life, I'm proud to show everyone. I just want to meet your parents, family, friends, and I want you to meet mine. I'm not self-conscious.

So, my question for you is...are we together? Or are we not? Do you want me, or do you not? It's too late - my heart has already been taken over. This could break me, but I'm hoping it doesn't.

I'm hoping our ending will be a happy one. Just like the Disney movies.

I'm going to ask him about us next time we hang out. Wish me luck!

x