Sunday, May 11, 2014

how to not run away from the ones that love you?

Le Love Blog Running Away From Those That Love You Photography Girl Laying in Underwear Thinking In Sun light exploring by Milan madhjamaka, on Flickr
Photo via: Milan madhjamaka

I’ve been with him for just over a year. I’m a runner by nature. As in,
when things start to get serious, when they start to feel permanent, I
leave the man I am with. This is one is pretty much perfect. Kind,
considerate, handsome, affectionate, generous, head over heels in love
with me. So in love with me, that it scares me. How can he get so
invested? He says he wants to build his life around me. The thought scares
me. I am down to earth, practical, a career first kind of girl. I wanted
to build my life around a place, a job, a career. Once all that was
settled, I figured I would meet someone and fall in love and maybe even
settle down. But love happened first. And now I am unsure whether to keep
it. Unsure because the longer I am with him, the more in love with me he
is, and all the while I am not sure if I will stay here. Maybe I’ll
travel, maybe I’ll go to grad school, maybe I’ll take a job across the
continent or even the world. I am unsure if he fits into those plans or
not. And because I’m afraid, because he is blameless, I have started
picking little fights, being stand-offish, secretly hoping to send him
over the edge and force him to break up with me, because I’m too cowardly
to be the bad guy. But I can’t push him away like the others, he sees
through it, and holds tight. It fills me with happiness and breaks my
heart all at the same time.

So to the people that are like me, and run away when they get scared of
the intensity of their feelings or the feelings of the one they’re with,
what do I do? Did you regret running away? Or was it better for you in the
long run, and less hurtful to the person you left?

To the people that got left behind, do you wish he or she had stayed? Or
was leaving you the best thing they ever did for you in the end?

I just want to put it out there that it’s not that I feel I don’t deserve
to be loved. I’m just not sure if this is the time or place to be in so
deep. I am afraid how madly and selflessly he loves me. It’s like I’m his
air or something. It’s frightening, but thrilling. But can you love too much?

325 comments:

  1. He sounds creepy.

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  2. Girl talk, you better start talking with him.
    Just all you said here, tell him.
    Better think twice before you throw things away.

    Sincerely from a runner too

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am a runner also...
    I have never regretted running. But I have regretted staying too long...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do you miss LeLove?

      Le Love Lessons is made with reader submissions, so if you have anything you'd like to share, please email:lelovelessons@gmail.com
      The concept of this site is based on the well known LeLove that sadly no longer runs. As a daily reader of this blog I found myself wishing for it to still exist. So heres my version. I hope its as heart breaking and heart warming as LeLove but with a few of my own few stories added in to. To all you lonely hearts, love captured and confused, here's to you and us and the journey we can share together.

      http://lelovelessons.blogspot.co.uk/

      Delete
  4. Love is a freaking scary thing

    ReplyDelete
  5. I could be a runner at times. Intimidated by the standards of "love" set by society. I ran away from my partner, tried to push him over the edge. I pushed him away and hurt him more than I ever could've known. My advice to you would be to do something I never did - simply talk to him. Hope everything works out for you dear x

    ReplyDelete
  6. Consider yourself lucky to have someone who loves you so much. People go through life searching for the love you have already found and most never feel that intensity within their lifetime.

    You should run. He deserves someone who truly loves him, the way he does for you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. honestly, it's hard to find someone to truly loves you like that. Careers, jobs, school...they'll come and go but love is something different. I've always ran from the guys who truly cared but I was scared it was going to get serious and guess what... I've regretted it ever since.

    ReplyDelete
  8. If u cant give to him what he deserves leave that man, I just read this and i feel the same so im gonna do the same thing im telling you to do.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I agree with this comment above "You should run. He deserves someone who truly loves him, the way he does you." Also, you will prbably regret it. I'm a runner, always have been. I once had the perfect human being and I ran. Just like you, pushing and poking at first and then finally taking off. I am with another amazing person right now but it took years for me to find someone so complete and wonderful...and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think back to that love once in a while and wonder. Love moves on though, with or without you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Tough situation. I have definitely dated girls like this. Precarious times. Check out my book I just published about the terrible ups and downs of relationships http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00K9UJXEA

    ReplyDelete
  11. Do you miss him when he's not around? Do you feel relieved?
    Answer to that and you will know.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Don't run. I was in the same position and I did. And I regretted it for a very long time. Lucky for me, I was given a second chance down the road with the same guy. But who knows, you may not be that lucky. I say in this case, if you love him, don't let him go. You can have the career and romance.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You need to talk to him about the way you feel. If not for this relationship then for all the relationships in your future. There is something crucial about being able to communicate your feelings. If this person is in it for the long run, the relationship will be able to handle it....and if it is not meant to be or is not strong enough then you will find that out as well(and you will be glad you did). Because if he is going to be with you he ought to be with the real you that is scared of making commitments and has a history of running. If it is important to you you need to take the step of talking to him. (Right now you are just having a conversation with yourself:) No one can give you the answers, but you can let them appear. Start with a convo and use the words "i feel like....." as opposed to putting it on him or the relationship.

    I'm in and have been in a very similar situation for the past few months, and things are still rocky, but it is much better and I feel less sick to my stomach now that I have let him know this "secret" i was keeping.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I was a person that got left behind by the person of my dreams. It hurt, and our ending was never fixed - left open ended, with millions of questions, and not even one explanation. However, almost even two years later and into a new relationship I am thankful that he left. He didn't appreciate me in the way that I deserved. Deep in your heart you should know - even if a little voice in your heart tells you otherwise. Best of luck.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I was left behind. It's only been a few months so I can't really say whether I'm glad he left yet. Still reeling from the heartbreak. I do however wish that he did talk to me about and give us a chance to make some adjustments together. Him leaving without explanation makes me feel like I was worth nothing to him. Like all my love was not appreciated. At the same time though, I'm glad we didn't move in together or get engaged and then break up. That would have killed me. Don't mislead him. Talk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was his loss. You need to move in with your life. I had a friend that was left at the altar and after 1 year and being coached by a good astrologer she really changed her life. It's like she is a new person.

      Delete
  16. Agreed with the comments above, don't mislead him nor yourself , just talk about it. Think about what you want and also, what you both deserve. It's not a great feeling to be a heart breaker (from experience). Ask yourself, whether or not in a few months you will regret losing him? That is the best advice I can offer. I, myself am also a runner but I've learnt from it. It's not fun to play with peoples' feelings so be considerate enough to think about him, while not forgetting about yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  17. It would be unfair to him if you stayed. Clearly you both are not in the same page and he deserves better than that. If you were truly happy with him I am convinced that the urge to run would not have come into play.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I can identify with your post. I've been a runner. I've changed over the last few years and have actually met many men who like me run…. I realized how much pain I may have caused others. And I do regret it. Don't fear love. Stay… make changes in you… change things about the relationship to make it exciting and new. You don't ever become permanent… keep changing, but stay and keep loving! Try it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. best answer, that was beautiful.

      Delete
    2. I so appreciate your response....

      Delete
  19. I didn't stay with my man. He was the best man I've been with and everyone I meet after him suffers badly. Im constantly going back and forth repair, sadness and opthimism. He was my rock, he was always there for me. But he didn't show me enough interrest some days. We were in a LDR. When I met him, I always cried in his arms as he was leaving, because I knew he wouldn't find enough time for me and I was too proud to have that conversation alot of times. He said I was the love of his life. He was certainly mine. But he's lost. I lost, don't listen to your sense- ask your heart; mine expresses nothing but pain- which means I took a wrong decision.

    ReplyDelete
  20. He sounds a bit creepy, but I think you should talk to him though

    ReplyDelete
  21. Is LeLove not posting anymore or has it moved? :/

    ReplyDelete
  22. I miss your posts...I hope everything's ok...

    ReplyDelete
  23. yes! i miss them too. i keep on coming back again and again....
    i do hope all is ok in your world

    ReplyDelete
  24. You're just not that into him. If you were into him nothing else would matter. If you can't give of yourself then he's not the one.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hii. Must say you are really lucky. Everyone is not as lucky as you. I used to think that I won't get a person who will love from the bottom of his hear. But Luvnest helped me meet a person who is extra loving, extra caring, in short madly in love with me.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Is the blog gone now?

    ReplyDelete
  27. Don regret, either way. Don think you will get to meet a better guy, or that you will find a better career path. Think what is most important to you, the love of your life and less well paying job, or most satisfying career and settling for someone you 'quite' like. And you'll have your answer.

    ReplyDelete
  28. where are you lelove? i muss u. hope everything is fine<3

    ReplyDelete
  29. I miss this blog. I come here every day to see if it's back. I hope everything's ok<3

    ReplyDelete
  30. me too :( i visit everyday hoping there's updates

    ReplyDelete
  31. Waiting for new article to come up, I miss reading here!

    ReplyDelete
  32. me too :/ and I hope you are ok!

    ReplyDelete
  33. I'm secretly admiring someone I layed eyes on only twice in the last two years. Please come back in my life. Shivafeli.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  34. I am a runner, just like you. in fact I have been on the run my entire life. From the moment I start to like someone I have the urge to run, like I cannot breathe. Everything not to feel anything. Drown it, kill it. And gosh I wish that someone one day sees through this all, because 99% of the time I feel lonely and misunderstood. So if that guy sees through rhis all, he might be worth the risk not to run. Cause in the end you might regret the run and by then it may be too late

    ReplyDelete
  35. There is life even after broken heart, yeaaaa ...

    ReplyDelete
  36. Wow I recently went thru something like this and we'll it's really tough because you can tell the person loves you so much and it's heartbreaking to hurt them. I realized I wasn't in love with him but instead of fighting the feeling I just let things flow on their own and I got to say he sort of caught my heart. So just go with the flow and follow your heart. If your heart is not in it then maybe it's time to let him go so ya both can find your true happiness. He'll live!

    ReplyDelete
  37. I just want to start by saying, I adore your blog. All i'm going to say is, don't run.

    - alesha xo

    ReplyDelete
  38. how could anybody run from the best and most intensive feelings you ever had? i still don't get it..

    yes.. i was left behind.. and this multiple times within the last 4 years - from the girl that from the first moment we knew clearly was (and is) the only one.. the one i need to marry.. she comes back every year for another try.. she needs to.. her feelings are to big, too... but every time she discards me because she get's scared of herself.. for those amount of feelings.. this intense desire and affinity..
    she isn't used to know herself like this.. and she has it only, when were together.. "normally" she don't even want touching.. but as we all know, love isn't normal at all !!!

    so.. back to the topic.. how come you could run away from whatever makes you feel this extraordinary? this supernatural?
    i don't get it..
    you asked if you should run? NO! DON'T RUN! STAY !!
    get over your fears.. it's not worth the lost.. you could only win if you stay.. and from my point of view: not only you, as the runner would win.. we "stayers" would win even more.. so stay, and don't ruin your both lifes...

    and i have to end with one simple question:
    do you want to run away all your lifetime?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. from a fellow runner.....you can only run for so long,eventually you are gonna have to stop running,but then you may not find such kind of love again

      Delete
  39. You are lucky to found a man who loves you so sincerely. But it seems that you are not ready yet. Don't "run away". Best Facial Moisturizer Talk, and take a step back.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Great job!!!! Keepp workinggg

    Regards

    http://www.thetruetaoofbadass.com/

    ReplyDelete
  41. I've never felt this way but I feel like it's unfair for the other person if you keep on doing this :(

    ReplyDelete
  42. You are lucky to have found someone who is willing to be devoted to you but you are your own person, find out what you want to do first and be very sure which way you are going, then if you feel he doesn't fit don't be afraid to let him go, it just might not be your time to find love yet, you have to do whats best for yourself and you know that it will hurt more the longer you leave it, you can prevent all of that and you will feel better for it, don't worry about whats happened in the past, your prince will come and when he does you wont feel the need to run. :)

    I hope that helps, good luck,
    girlbestkeptsecret

    ReplyDelete
  43. I regularly check this blog too, and it saddens me to see it inactive for so long. I have shared some of my stories here, but continue to share them on my own blog. For those who wish to continue to shares theirs too. Please feel free to send to missycuriousblog@gmail.com, or if you just want to continue reading stories, visit http://missycurious.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  44. this is so inspiring and i don't believe there is such thing as loving too much. You can never get enough of it :)

    For everybody, if you want to see some quotes about love displayed on pictures check out http://mylovequotes.net/

    ReplyDelete
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  46. Great post. And i just want to say that anybody that is going thru anything right now and you feel like all hope is lost, please check out this video.

    I know the two in the video are complete strangers but it's a great example of love and maybe even love lost, who knows. But i feel like so many can relate to this.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GaC0We5lHY

    ReplyDelete
  47. Good luck to everyone in this predicament.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Nice post. It happens with many of our clients due to their career. But if we are willing we can sort out these issues. Actually I am a wedding planner working as Wedding Planners Gurgaon and wedding planners ncr and we are here to suggest people so that they can bring joy to their life. One thing I want to add is never give up on anything.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Aditya, u look like a young george clooney!
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  49. I think I can agree with this blogpost, you and your feelings. I am always that person to not care as much in a relationship because I have always had the person invest their feelings to me and surround themselves in my every single second of the day. I never really had to feel like I had to make the effort, simply because they had already provided this for me and well both of us together. However, lately I have found myself running back to this guy, a person I have barely known in my life and I can't seem to figure out why. It is so not me and not the way I behave with guys, I am so confused. I have never felt this way about love before. He is just so different, but I suppose that is such a clique thing to say when it comes to describing a relationship or a 'love story' if you like. All I can say is i believe you in how hard it is because I was once in that situation before. But look how tables how turned.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Is this because deep inside her heart, she afraid of putting to much into a guy so that she can not stand losing him lately?

    ReplyDelete
  51. please come back lelove... miss you :(

    ReplyDelete
  52. Nice post. many people that time run for love. but some few people success for this. many people get Lost love back by astrology help.

    ReplyDelete
  53. why you stop posting :( please post more

    ReplyDelete
  54. Love is most important part of our life. so don's miss this. that is right blog represent of our.

    _______________________
    Vashikaran mantra for husband-wife

    ReplyDelete
  55. fantastic post!
    xx
    Olivia Jane

    www.thegeisler.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  56. I miss reading latest blogs from you lelove. please come back :'(

    ReplyDelete
  57. This was a very interesting articles. We all do crazy things when it comes to love. Sometimes we stay in relationships longer than we should. Other times we leave to soon. Know I try to think clearly when make decisions of the heart. http://www.lifelovechronicles.com

    ReplyDelete
  58. You talked about his love. And what about yours? Do you really love him? Before thinking of hurting him or not, think if you love him or not.

    ReplyDelete
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  61. brilliant blog, absolutelyperfect in many ways.

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  62. what a lovely collection of inspirational quotes. highly recommended!

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  63. I really enjoy reading your blog, it's always so interesting every article you post! Thanks for sharing it!

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  68. Please come back LeLove I miss you posts so much. What happened to you?

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  79. Come back PLEASE.

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  80. If it is fear that forbids you on something that is so beautiful. Therefore the only answer for it is courage. Many people lived successful life even if they had found love first, true love only come in once lifetime- few to none. Make a choice, fear or courage.

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  81. Nice Quotes! But i like sad love quotes. I get more touches by sad quotes about love, thean the happy ones....

    ReplyDelete
  82. Oh girl..if you love him, don't run. Life is not forever. Things can happen and you can regret it. At least you need to try make it work. You can have all other things and someone who cares for you. The worst you can do is run away. Don't do that to yourself.One day you will wake up and you will realize that everyone around you have their perfect life with people they love..but you will be alone. Just saying. If he is so great and he loves you that much and if you like him, but you're afraid to fall in love with him..not sure what's the case..give him a shot. Your life won't end if you fall in love. You can still do planty other things and be the girl you want to be. Good luck.

    www.theperfectchapter.com

    ReplyDelete

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  84. THANKS TO DR BENEDICT FOR SOLVING MY PROBLEMS

    An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought my wife back to me.. My name is Andy Sowers,i live in Australia,and I'm happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife.so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce.she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she didn't love me anymore.So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife.So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.{benedictsolutioncentre@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who didn't call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster DR benedict. So.
    So,if you are in a similar problem or any kind of problems you can also contact him via his email(benedictsolutioncentre@gmail.com}he is the solution to all your problems and predicaments in life.his email again is{benedictsolutioncentre@gmail.com}.

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    (5) if you have any sickness like ( H I V/AIDS ),(CANCER) or any sickness.

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  103. What do i stand for in this world without my lover by my side?, This was the taught that was running through my mind when my lover departed from me. You know one thing i believe in is that once you are having problems that are bringing you down God always use people to raise you up. In my case it was Dr.Zadson that was used in helping me get my lover back, Since the help of Dr.Zadson i must say that my relationship has been filled with more love and as a matter of fact my lover never does a thing without me. So you see this is the more reason why i must thank Dr.Zadson and the more reason why i must put his details on this site to enable other people contact him via email
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  104. Don't over analyse what is happening. That will be the death of any relationship especially in its early stages. Just let it go and see what happens and try not to fight against your feelings.

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  137. We can't love you if you give us nothing to love... All this and that about timing, look, timing is only a bitch if you let it be... That's the problem with this generation.. we live in an age where we let people tell us what we want.. Where a relationship isn't two people helping each other get over their past scars and tear down those walls they built, but being selfish.. No one in this generation knows how to take help when it's offered.

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