Friday, March 14, 2014

hanging onto this hope

LE LOVE BLOG STORY LOVE PHOTO IMAGE MAN WOMAN BOY GIRL SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER SHOWS OFF HOLDING ONTO HOPE YOUNG LOVE NEED WRONG TIME FOR RELATIONSHIP ALWAYS GOES BACK Untitled by emma louise. , on Flickr
Photo via: emma louise.

It's been 3 years, 2 months and 10 days.
One would think that's enough time to, you know, forget someone.

I'm hanging onto this hope that we just met at the wrong time. And maybe you knew that too. Because the whole time you have never wanted a relationship, yet everyone could tell you were madly in love with me. Even when we hang out as 'just friends', people often strangers always say to you 'You're a lucky man aren't you?'.

Since we met I've had two different boyfriends, and I'm currently with a guy who's a literal prince charming. I can't fault him anywhere , yet I can't stop thinking about you either. It's so wrong, yet so treacherous. You're always there, every break up and bam I'm in your bed again... Sometimes within just a few hours. IT'S SO WRONG!

You were just too good. Everything with you just fit so well. Every walk to the beach and each giggle on your bed, always ended up in passionate kisses. I remember I used to be able to feel you smiling while you kissed me. I've never smiled so much with someone, laughed so much or felt as comfortable as I was with you. Maybe I'm clinging onto the hope that I'll get that back with you one day. But we met when I was 15 and you were 16. You were in my life for such a long time, without being my official boyfriend.. You pretty much were.

But there were other girls. And I know I should blame you and hate you for it. But all along you said we were too young to have a relationship. I agreed on friends with benefits, because I would have done anything to keep you with me. So technically i was aware the whole time. And even though I cried and cried, I always ended up in your backyard.

My boyfriend got mad at me the other night and walked out. I broke down and 20 minutes later I was knocking at your door, mascara running down my face. Nothing happened at night with you. We just sat on the road, you held me close and tried to make me feel better. And it was nice.

My boyfriend leaves to go abroad for 10 months very soon. I don't think he will stay with me. 10 months is a long time to be away from someone when your 20. I so hope I'll have enough strength to not even up on your street.

But look.
I probably will.
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