Wednesday, February 5, 2014

afraid to move

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY LOVE PHOTO IMAGE GIRL WOMAN LAYING DOWN IN THE DARK LOOKING THINKING NEW BREAK UP STORY HARD TO MOVE ON STILL LOVE MISSING THE PERSON Untitled by Nevena Popovic, on Flickr
Photo via: Nevena Popovic

Dear Le Love,

This is a letter I wrote to my true love, who left me.

It's been two weeks and my wound's still fresh, it still feels like I have a gaping hole in my chest - and everyday you keep salting this open wound. I still think about you everyday, every minute, every second and the scary thing is, I actually believe that I will never get over your. You weren't my first love, or my longest relationship - but it was the realest thing I've ever felt. When the doctors told me I could grow old and have children my first thought was you: I could grow old with you. I could have your children. I could be your wife. But our fights seemed endless. We said all the typical things - you never listen, you lied about everything, do you even love me, maybe we shouldn't talk anymore. I just miss you so much, I miss everything. It hurts all the time, I break all the time, I want you all the time. I lost my mind. I lie in bed for hours just thinking how it would've been if he was with me on that moment. Your arms around me, your sweet ticklish kisses on my face and neck. How we laid so close to each other, legs tangled, arms around me, my head on your chest listening. I want you back. I want us back.

I'm writing you this because I can't do this anymore, I can't deal with all this on my own. I need you. I miss you everyday. I can't keep wondering anymore. It's not fair that you've moved on and I have been stuck in the same spot, afraid to move. I know I'm doing this to myself. Even though the thought of not speaking to you scares me, I have to do it for myself. I can't be your friend and act like I'm ok when I'm not just for the sake of still having you in my life. You used to tell me you would never get over me, that you could see yourself with me for a very long time. We even talked about getting married. If those feelings were strong and true then you can't just forget about me and move on. But I have to stop thinking about how it was with you because its gone, and it will never be the same. I feel like a fool for holding onto you.

Thank you for being one of the greatest things that came into my life. Thank you for teaching me so much about myself. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. I can never hate you because I know that everything you did was out of love, but I hate that it had to end - that you never listened to me, that you didn't see that you were the one thing in my life that made me happy. I hope you accomplish every goal you set for yourself, I hope you figure out everything you were unsure about, and I hope above all that you are happy. I wish I could be there to see it all happen, that I was the one that helped you. But for now this is goodbye.

7 comments:

  1. Ive been here..it hurts..4 years later..he is married and im still hanging on...i wish i could say it gets easier...you never get over them..you just get used to being without them. sending positive thoughts your way

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  2. Letting go is never easy. But you have to start putting yourself and your life first. When you let go, you open up your heart and allow true joy and happiness to enter. You will grow stronger every day. believe this. xxx

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  3. You wont get over him but life moves on....Something better is in store, youll fall in love again and you will look back and read this letter and think we were all right..Stay strong. Hugs.

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  4. Here is what I wrote to my ex 4 years ago. I claimed to be moving on. Never did. Never can. Eternal fidelity and ever lasting love.


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