Sunday, November 17, 2013

maybe I'd still have you

Photo via: Alison Scarpulla

I am writing this because I need to get this off my chest. I met you four years ago after getting out of a relationship that at the time meant a lot to me. I consider you a godsend and you saved me in so many ways. We saved each other and only he would ever truly understand that.

We dated for awhile but at the time I couldn't give myself to you the way I wish I would have now because I thought I loved someone else. You told me things that you told no one else about your dad, we had a really special relationship and although it wasn't perfect, I wasn't perfect, it was good.

You made me feel loved like I have never loved before you looked at me in a way that you made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. You really were my prince charming you treated me with respect and like a girl always dreams of. I'm not really sure what happened, you said you lost feelings for me and broke it off all I know was there was a lot of drama caused from other people.

I not only love you but I love your family and I love being with them as much as I love you. You still to this day won't meet up and talk to me I'm not sure why. I wish I knew why. I can message you, but you won't respond, but if we bump into each other you talk to me and give me a hug.

Today I am married to someone else who I am not in love with who I just love. Someone who will always be second best to you. I dream about you a few times a week and I always still think about you and want you. I will always want you know matter what. No one will ever make me feel like you do and I would do anything to be with you. I know this is bad but I would even leave my husband for you and that is terrible that I am saying this.

I have really tried to get over you, but after four years you still have this spell over me. You have shown me things I have never thought I would see and feel and when I'm with you, I am better. You make me a better person. When I am with you, I am the person I wanna be. You supported me and pushed me to go after my dreams and you take all my pain away and give me this happiness like no one else. When I am with you I love myself and am happy with myself and you always loved me for me. I don't know if you knowing this would ever change anything, but I really do I have a connection with you like no one else and feelings for you that will probably never go away.

I wish I could have been the girl I want to be now for you maybe I'd still have you. I wish you knew the type of girl I am capable of being. I was just young and stupid and didn't realize what we had because of my first young dumb stupid love that I wanted over at the time. I guess you will always be the one that got away.


  1. that gave me goosebumps, beautiful. I hope he reads this, true love will always find a way xxxx

    Mollie xoxo

  2. I totally understand what your story. I went through the exact same thing two years ago. I met a guy after I broke with my boyfriend of almost 4 years. This guy was amazing. I never felt more like myself. But I ruined it. I was going through a lot at the time with my grandma's death and my father being really sick. I didn't know how to handle it. Your story really freaked me out when I read it because it I felt I wasn't who I could have been with him. I hope you find him again and it works out.Cause that is all I want myself.

  3. Shame on you for marrying a man that you will refuse to give your heart to fully. If you were to find out that he wasn't in love with you, and spent his time fantasizing about a life that didn't include you, how would you feel? Betrayed? You should, because what you are doing is worse than any physical infidelity. I suggest you put your selfish desires on a shelf and honor the promise you made and the man you made it to. Or be kind and leave.

  4. You seem to be living in the past. History has its way of repeating itself, maybe you're up for another "regret of your life" with what you're doing to your husband now.

  5. send him this letter.

  6. in my opinion, you are in danger... in the near future if you keep that way of thinking.
    hope you can share your story on kickgroup
    ( is a new social network for all people love blog, write, read, community with other and promote your blog, website... website just launch so we hope to have your story on kickgroup, thank you very much)

  7. just go on...


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