Wednesday, September 18, 2013
do i go for it?
Photo via: Mary Robinson
You're ridiculously sweet. You're brave and compassionate. You stand up for what you believe in. You're willing to take it slow. To let me figure it all out. You say since the moment you saw me, you knew I was different, that this feeling was different than the past ones. You knew it was cheesy, you told me it was, but you said it anyways. I laughed. And smiled. And said I'm not sure how much yet, I've never been in a relationship before, but I do like you.
I meant it. Every word. I like you a lot because how could I not? We can talk for hours about anything--shallow and deep or just plain odd.
Except there's nothing there. Maybe it will come later--I'm new to this after all. Every relationship is different... but can't just not feel anything, and still like you, can I? Maybe I fall in slowly, even though you fall in love fast. Maybe we need time. Maybe I'll wake up one day or see you across the room and smile and realize you're the guy for me. Maybe.
But what if I don't? I'm not scared for myself. If this was all about me, I would go for it without any hesitation.
But what about you? You're already head over heels--and I'm not. I want to give it a shot; I do! But what if two months down the road, or six, or a year, I realize that I'm still in the same place, wanting so badly to fall only to realize I'm on flat ground with my feet firmly planted. What will that do to you? I'll have led you on from the start, wanting something to happen.
Do I go for it? Or do I make the break easier now?