Friday, July 26, 2013

this time is different

Untitled by vika_bakirova, on Flickr
ph: Vika Bakirova

Every girl has this one image of true love. One that keeps playing over and over in our heads. One day our true love will sweep us off our feet and carry us away into a never ending sunset. Well I think I found that guy who does that, who is so sweet and tries so hard to make my happy and I don’t want it, not one bit of it. See we meet our freshmen year and high school. I liked him from the first day and was always jealous if he ever talked to anyone but me. We were in love, or scratch that at least I was. I never felt that way before, he ran through my head non stop over and over again. But things got complicated, I ended it and realized it was a mistake I tried to get him back but try as I might I couldn’t. We didn’t talk after that, it felt like years and yet if was only months. Ya there were other guys after him but I never felt that true every lasting bond I had with him. He always seemed to be in the back of my mind questioning my every move. And then somehow we came back together a year later. And I don’t understand how or why but we did. And now we are together and maybe not in love but maybe close to it. But this time is different, I don’t feel the same way about you. I don’t know what it is. I think I just find it so strange that we could not talk for a whole year and now he’s calling me baby. I know you’re not my true prince charming but I can’t break up with you. After I did that the first time I was devastated and I can’t imagine feeling that deep pain again. But what do I do? Is it fair that you love me more than I love you? Will these feelings ever be mutual? Or am I going to be the deceitful one this time, always lying to myself and more importantly you about how I truly feel.

7 comments:

  1. It sounds like a tough situation. Don't give up. Love never fails.

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    1. I'm not sure Matthew, I have been looking for it, since a long time and everytime I feel this is it, I've found it. LOVE keeps pushing itself away from me.

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  2. Love is never mutual, one will always love the other one more. And feelings are pretty similar to water, it can be peaceful and still but at the same time wavy and stormy. Don't give up, give it time. Who knows, maybe he really is your prince charming, you did after all get back together.

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  3. I went back and forth with a guy. After a little while he found someone else and got married. It was the hardest thing I have had to deal with. The problem was that I didn't realize when I was going back and forth that I loved him and that was why we kept coming back together. Imagine the devastation I went through when he very quickly got married and wasn't telling anyone - only his parents. I was on of the first people he wasn't related to to know. I cried my eyes out for two hours in his car. If you can't get over this guy there is most definitely a reason. Please, give it a real chance and be mature about it. Sometimes things take time. Please, don't make the same mistake I did. I have to live with that every day.

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