Wednesday, June 26, 2013

a sort of relationship

LE LOVE BLOG LOVE STORY CASUAL RELATIONSHIP NON EXCLUSIVE LOVE STORY LOVE ADVICE LOVE PIC LOVE PHOTO VAMPIRE RING SIDE BRAID Coppertone. by kelly christine emily podesta, on Flickr
ph: Kelly Podesta

I actually think I love you, but I never thought I could fall in love.

I don't know why I think I love you, no theories. I only have things that, together, might be called proof.

I care twice as much as your opinion than everyone else's. If I get just one text from you (even if I almost never do) it completely makes my day. You remember than one time when I was just so tired and sad and you just holding me for half a minute changed everything? That's how it is.

I don't ever feel like actually flirting with people, because I never find anyone I like anymore. It's not that you set the bar too high, it's more that you created a specifically shaped hole in my heart and the only person fitting into that hole is you.

It's not that I find you perfect, I see all your imperfections. It's just that I don't see anyone else who could mean half as much to me.

I know we said we'd keep it a secret to all our friends, and at first we said we'd just fool around whenever we felt like it. But with all our ups and downs, our break ups and our make ups, I don't think that's what we have.

I keep telling myself that if I were actually in love with you, I'd be jealous over you being with other people. I never get jealous. Did I tell you why? To get jealous, I must first convince myself I'm worthy of even having you.

I'm wondering if I should tell you, because being unhappily in love with someone you're in a sort of relationship with sucks. But I won't, because I think you want it just as casual as this, and telling you would put too much pressure on you.

That's why you make me hate myself. I can never be good enough for you.

6 comments:

  1. OMG, I'm feeling like this right now, the worst thing is that I have already sent him a text saying that I have to tak to him, but I know it's the best thng, we have to make this stuff clear, so that there wont be any kind of confusion going on.

    xx

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  2. I was in a relationship like this before.. It lasted for more than a year. I know it doesn't make sense now but one day, you WILL get over him. Love isn't meant to make you feel inferior or unworthy of it. Love makes you grow and not feel small. You need to make things clear because these kind of feelings are destructive..

    ReplyDelete
  3. Was in such relationship too...Honeybar wrote the best thing ever..."Love makes you grow and not feel small..."
    Get over with him in case "stuff is not clear"..
    If you have so many feelings for him and truly feel like above...well, I guess he is not good enough for you.

    ReplyDelete


  4. http://www.bubblews.com/news/721012-the-craziest-thing-a-converstation-between-my-love-and-me

    This is my love story

    ReplyDelete
  5. Times must be so difficult right now. Remember to believe in yourself and never underestimate your own strength. God has a plan and soon your heart will find that <3

    Take care!

    ReplyDelete
  6. "you created a specifically shaped hole in my heart and the only person fitting into that hole is you."

    I can relate to this so much. It hurts that it is the way it is, but I'd rather have this than nothing at all... And I also wish I could be good enough for him.

    The difference between you and I is that I get jealous. I don't show it though, I only let it tear me up inside.

    I hope things work out for you, and I hope you find some comfort in the fact that many others feel the way you do (sadly) :-)

    ReplyDelete

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