Saturday, May 25, 2013

both of the guys

ph: marinna williams

When we first met in August, as we found ourselves in the same class, I didn't think of him as more than anything but a classmate. Fast-forward to New Years Eve, where in a drunken daze on the dance floor, he kissed me. Or I kissed him. Alcohol is playing tricks on my memory. Despite the irregularities that the alcohol-smitten mind can provide, it was not something that I regretted. He were nice, the night was nice and he kept repeating cheesy things like "You're the most beautiful person here". I laughed at his cheesiness and I accepted them merely as a token of his alcoholic delusion and I didn't expect to hear those words again. Two days later, he texted me and asked me if I wanted to meet him. I was cringing as I realized the gratitude of it all – we were in the same class! If things got awkward, it would be multiplied by a hundred as it seemed like everyone in my class knew about us. I agreed to have some hot-chocolate with you. Fast-forward four months, we are still seeing each other but we haven't defined what we are. It is all hanging loose in the air. He seems to have committed to me, he hasn't been with anyone else. I was ready to become his and his only, for weeks he was the only thing on my mind. But he lacked decisiveness and was not progressive or vocal about what he wanted us to be. I had looked at others; had sex with one boy and had kissed two other boys. I thought it was all fine until he started saying things that indicated that he thought that we were a couple. My insides turned as I realized what he meant by those words and I was confused as I thought that I had missed the signals. But sooner than later, I realized that we still were where we had been: loose in the air, even though he seemed to think that we were a serious couple. During these past months, I have spent countless hours on doubting us – is this what I want? Do I really like him and so on and so forth.

A few weeks ago, I met a guy who I want to have an ongoing sexual relationship with and now the problem is what I should do with the former guy. Should I inform him about my newly discovered polygamous tendencies whilst risking our entire relationship or should I just keep my mouth shut?

What I want is both of the guys, they're different from each other and I have different relationships with them. One is okay with us not being exclusive but the other thinks that we are a couple. What should I do?

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  1. Don't lie, you will get found out some way or another.

    Carina xx


  2. The best thing is to say the truth....but I think you can see what is better for you.

  3. Sounds like it's time to pull those uncertainties down from the air and have a conversation. Carina hit it on the head. Don't lie. I found myself in a very, very similar situation, but I was already in a long-term relationship. Went through loads of mistakes... Some things I learned that I wish I told myself sooner: Stick to your values, but don't let them blind you. Don't lie. Sometimes someone's gotta get hurt, just don't let it be the one you truly care about.

  4. This is going to sound very corney but honesty is the best policy!

  5. Honesty is the best remedy, even if it hurts more, it's the right thing to do*

  6. If you really did care for him you would not be sleeping with the other guy, so figure out what you want and tell him.

  7. Just put the shoe on the other foot. It would hurt but you would want the truth to be told to you.

  8. When you look back on it 10 years from now, you are more likely to regret losing the one who cares about you, and wondering what might have been. But if you genuinely don't want to be exclusive with him, I agree it's better to tell him so.

  9. Stop playing around. Make a decision and stick with it no matter what.

    Start controlling yourself and make more mature steps like, I don't know,,, uhmm
    respecting and knowing your own self.....



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