Sunday, April 7, 2013

love languages

ph: Design Love Fest Instagram

Bri of Design Love Fest recently shared a candid moment about love on her amazing/creative/bright/happiness inducing blog and I thought I would share...

today we are talking about love languages. have you ever thought about what yours are? how do you show your love? i would definitely say i show mine in actions better than words. i love picking up little gifts for arian, or planning out dates and vacations. i like writing short love notes and leaving them on his desk. or making him dinner. it’s all about actions for me.

with arian, it’s definitely different. he’s a DUDE. he likes to surf, air drum, listen to hardcore music, and talks about motorcycles. while i consider him a creative person, he is definitely not planning out our vacations or unique dates. holidays and birthdays stress him out because he thinks gift giving is overwhelming. i remember all of this stuff used to bug me. i would look at my friend’s husbands who got their wives that coat she’d been wanting, or that bouquet of flowers for no reason, or planned a surprise tropical getaway… it made me feel like arian didn’t love me the same way. (but like someone reminded me today…”comparison is the thief of joy.”) we actually used to fight about it quite a bit. and ladies i am sure you know that if you fight about flowers it definitely takes the sparkle out of the moment when you actually do get them.

but then i started trying to think about it differently. analyzing how he DOES show his love. arian is the best listener. he always takes my side. he is affectionate and loving. he always kisses me goodbye. he always drives when we go somewhere. he makes me coffee every morning. there is a lot of ways that i just wasn’t seeing clearly. which i will fully admit that it’s bratty and traditional for me to think love means flowers and date planning. and once i let that go, i started noticing and appreciating the things he does do and not just feeling resentful for the things he wasn’t...

what form of love do you NEED from a partner? any deal breakers? for me, affection is important. i only tell you guys this because it was an eye opening experience for me to think about HOW we love our partners. in what ways. and maybe there are ways you’re just looking past. …xo -bri


  1. So interesting to figure out how people show it in different ways.


  2. Actions speak louder than words.

    xoxo Laurenzia

  3. im a gemini, so i definitely need a little verbal action as well. a little goes a long way

    much love from NYC

  4. We just took the love language quiz, it was really helpful and eye-opening!


  5. Agree with Carina above. It is interesting how people show it in different ways and how their behavior and actions are a result of it!

  6. This is so beautiful. It is love and more love everywhere.

  7. This is so true and reminds me of the book The Noticer which every human should read...basically in the book Jones helped this couple, who thought that they had fallen out of love, realize that they just weren't speaking the same language. It's so interesting that when you don't see your partner expressing love the same way you do, you actually believe that they might not love you...I think it's important for couples to talk not just about loving each other, but love in general. Learning what your partner thinks about love can make it so helpful when you're trying to make them feel loved.

  8. I went through something similar to this. Always wondering why he never swept me off my feet or took my breath away in the ways I watched other men do so to other women whom I deemed so fortunate. Then, I started to see what he DID do. The quirky little things that only he could do with only me, that I knew other couples would never have. What a wonderful quote. Comparison really is the thief of joy. As cliche as the saying is, it's true that you should look at what you do have - what he does for you - rather than what you don't have - what other couples do for each other. The comparison got to me and our relationship was falling apart until this hit me. Don't lose your soulmate over what others do that he doesn't. At least he DOES things :)


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