Tuesday, April 23, 2013
before it's too late
The reason I am writing this shouldn't exist. We know where we need to be with each other and have known for a long time, but we also know the reasons why we can't move forward... and because of these reasons we'll never be able to leave the place were at. I don't just love you from a girlfriends point of view I don't even love you from just being your friend. I can't even begin to describe the way I feel about you. And even after everything we're still standing together. You're someone that you go through hell with, but because you're still with me when it's over that's how I know I love you. We don't need to end this so that we can be with other people. You and I both have been waiting for something to come along that is going to help us move forward because there's no where else for us to go. I don't need to hear you tell me you want for me to like certain things about you. I don't want for you to tell me you wished I liked your hair. I don't want you to wear wranglers because I told you I liked them. I've made it this far. There's not one single thing that you could do that would make me turn and walk away from you. But if we take enough time we can stop. We can make ourselves move into a future that we know is going to be better for us. But we have to be willing to make that decisions or else we'll never get out of this. For so long I have been closed off to others because I was happier being unhappy with you that being happy with someone who I didn't care for as much as I do you. I would prefer your imperfections over anything that another guy could give me. I have no idea what is up ahead, but I do know if I let myself sit in this standstill I'm never going to have a chance at getting over the way I feel about you. I don't want us to give each other up and try something new and then run back to each other. I don't want to be each others options. We both deserve better and what makes everything so hard is that we deserve the best that we know we can both put forth, but yet we're holding on to too many things from our past that will never allow us to give each other what we want for them. We know we need to do this. I just don't want it to be out of hatred or because someone met someone else. I want to be able to move on before it's too late for either of us to have what we know we deserve.