Sunday, February 17, 2013

i forgot about myself

ph: andrenzo

It's 2 years now. 2 years and 22 days. and I'm 22 now.

It started immediately, we met each other, we started to sleep in one bed after one week. We just knew this is it and this is us. Everything was just perfect and actually it's still perfect, isn't it?

He is my first boyfriend, first sex, first sharing bed, first living together, making breakfasts and dinners and spending 24/7. And I was so fucking happy, that couldn't imagine anything better in the world. Thinking about getting married and to live this forever. And we were living this miracle, not caring about anything outside us, taking care of our bodies and our souls, or maybe not taking care about our souls at all?

If you are so crazy about other person, that nothing else exists and you don't want to see anything else but him, it's gonna be shitty one day, I promise. Especially if you are so addicted and in love with this person, that you don't know what you actually want. I forgot about myself and I have no idea how to find it again, cause I don't know how to be 'me' and how to be 'us' in one moment.

"To say 'I love you' one must know first how to say the 'I'" (The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand.)

Truth? I do not know, I'm trying to find out for last 2 years. 2 years and 22 days.


  1. But why? Why does it have to end? Why doesn't it last forever?
    Why is it so bad the idea of being an "us" forever? Sharing deeply every and each detail of your lives together?
    There's always an "I" and I'm pretty sure you'd find it if you needed too. But isn't it so beuatiful, to unite two souls in just one? Two bodies breathing at the same time, the same rythim?

    Oh.. You can't imagine how much I'd love to live a love story like yours. And I guess I will.
    I wish you a lifetime of happiness, I'm pretty sure you'll get that too.

  2. This was beautifully written! Hope you'll find your "I".

  3. I am sure you will find yourself if you don't spend all your free time together (which I don't know if you do). If you have your own hobbies, your own friends and your own time it is easier to be YOU. Your own person. You don't have to break up, just create your own space and not spend every minute together.
    And isn't that what most of us wants - to find someone to be "us"/"we" with?

  4. its nice to know someone has felt the same as I felt at one point in time. its beautiful to know that making this realization is the first step to finding yourself


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