Saturday, December 29, 2012
a guy from vacation
ph: lauryn holmquist
I never thought that I could have feelings for someone I've only known for two weeks; someone who doesn’t even live in my country; someone who I won’t see again in my whole life.
When I first saw you on the beach I was thrilled about your body and your beautiful face. I decided to speak to you because I knew: I have nothing to lose.
After some fun days at the beach we finally met the first time in the evening. We had a drink and talked a lot about everything – that was the first time I noticed you were special, not like the other boys I usually meet on vacation.
I waited some more days for you to kiss me the first time – and I didn’t regret waiting for it. But somehow – for me, at least – it didn’t feel like a normal kiss with some random guy. It just felt like . . . magic. I enjoyed the time with you more than ever. Just sitting next to you and holding your hand seemed perfect to me. No; everything with you by my side seemed perfect.
I was scared of the day I was going home. But I knew that this moment would come; faster than we could imagine. I tried hard to not think about it; but that was impossible.
Our last day, our last night was at the same time the best we had together. I can’t remember another moment I felt so happy and alive.
Then it was time to say goodbye. And I can't remember another moment I felt so empty and horrible. It felt like the end of the world. Knowing that I won’t see you again in my life killed me inside - and is still killing me.
Now I’m sitting here in my bed and can't stop thinking about you. My phone is in my hand and I really want to write you a message. I want to know if you’re okay – and tell you that I miss you. But I won’t do this. 'Cause it’s so childish and idiotic. He’s just a guy from vacation! Don’t be silly, girl!
I put my phone down on my table. No. I really won’t write you. I just don’t want you to think that I’m in love with you (because it would sound ridiculous!). But maybe, yes, I am in love with you. A little bit, at least.