Monday, October 8, 2012

a way to love myself

ph: same kak

It’s so hard, sometimes, to accept myself. Me with all my, probably imagined, imperfections. I can have a one-second look in the mirror and go out, go dancing and enjoy the night. But I can also stare, searching for something bad on myself. I’m not developed to who I’m gonna be yet. My style and personality are changing everyday. High-waisted skirt and ripped pants hang beside each other in my closet. Every morning I decide who I want to be that day.

I care too much about others opinions. Skinny girls, who are afraid to stand out, dominate my class. I’m not really an outsider, but I am not one of them either. Not that I want to, oh I confuse myself so much, why do I even care about their opinions? See, that’s how it works in my head. I now I’m not some random girl without brains, I do care about things, I want to learn, want to know more and I want to develop myself.

Right now, everything is changing. My friends have fight, others get a boyfriend and one of them even forget about me because of him. I’m getting to know new people. I’m discovering that old, not-so-good friends are really nice.

Everything is changing each single day. The happenings teach me, guide me and try to help me with my quest. I’m following a bendy road, filled with holes. Trying to find a way to love myself. And I’m on my way now. I’m on my way.
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