Saturday, September 29, 2012

our parents. us. our children.

There were kittens
ph: Dezdemonas

It used to be easier.

In Austen's day, the most eligible men were the ones with money. A comfortable lifestyle was more desirable than love. Read Pride and Prejudice... Love didn't concur all, and when love disappointed marriage was made to the next available suitor, with love blossoming in time.

Our grandparents made it work. They married their high school sweethearts, their first loves. They didn't have any emotional baggage, they lived in a time where divorce was frowned upon and they had different morals instilled in them - when they committed for life, they meant it. Maybe they weren't always the best matches, maybe they missed out on greater happiness, but if they ever thought that way, they didn't act on it.

Then comes our parents.
Where divorce is prevalent.
Where the majority of us are from broken homes,
Where those of us with happily married parents are the exception,
Where we have step parents,
Ex step parents,
Our parent's girlfriends or boyfriends,
Our parent's same sex life partners,
Our parent's secret other families that they've hidden from us for years ...
Our parents seem to have had children, hit rough patches and fallen apart. They entered a time where there was more choice and less pressure and their ideas of forever disappeared.

So what can be expected of us? We've grown up in an environment where divorce is normal. Marriage vows have changed from "til death do us part" to "as long as our love shall last". And that's for the ones that make it to the vows... these days it seems that getting engaged isn't even a true commitment, girls rack up engagements like credit card debt.

We seem to suffer a fear of commitment these days... even signing up for a term contract to the gym or a phone company we need to hear the ways we can get out of it early to reassure us before we enter.
We enter relationships and start to think about the reasons it will end before it's even started.
We enter relationships we know will never work out, simply because they are enjoyable.
It seems we're on the look out for the next best thing,
We think marrying young is stupid, yet we look at older singles and think they'll die alone.
We know what we want, until it's presented to us and then we change our minds.
We've been given all these expectations of what love should be like and when it's different we give up.
We have too many options, too many expectations, too much history, too little perception about what is really valuable.
We're screwed up.

What is going to happen to our children?

16 comments:

  1. It's hard to think

    Carina

    http://carstina.blogspot.co.nz/

    ReplyDelete
  2. you've completely exaggerated, i think.

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  3. So true. I think that people need to understand one thing.
    "Liking someone is a feeling that you can't master - either you like a person or you don't. Love, on the other hand, is a choice you have to make. You fall in love eith a person, but then it's up to you. You have to choose if you gonna love him/her or not"

    It can sound a bit harsch, but I think it's true. A relationship isn't just about pink fluffy clouds, unicorns and glitter. It's choosing your partner, choosing love. Love isn't the same forever, it doesn't feel the same forever. And when it changes, people gets scared and leaves, cuz it doesn't feel the same anymore. But not everything is about how you feel.

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  4. I agree with Anonymous and that you've exaggerated. "The majority of us comes from a broken home"? I though divorce rate was 50/50? Not only is this exaggeration, but you're treating all humans like they're the same and it makes me uncomfortable to be considered in this "we" category because I don't recognise myself in it at all. I'd rather get divorced a hundred times in the search for true love than marry someone I didn't love. We're humans. We're meant to screw things up. It's what we do.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Interesting. If you didn't love someone why would you even marry them at the first place so that you would have to get a divorce later? And maybe 'we' refers to the majority of us, so if you don't recognize yourself in any of those situations, I'm happy for you, congratulations, but the majority of the people can relate.

      Delete
  5. I just love your eyws for great pictures in soft light. I would love to be able to take that kind of pictures some day!!

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  6. Salut, Je m'appelle love, je suis née le jour de l'amour, j'ai l'age des baisers, j'habite au fond de ton coeur, mon numéro de telephone est tendresse, mon adresse postal est caresse, et ma ville c'est aimer
    citation d'amour
    http://msgdamour.blogspot.com/2012/05/citation-damour.html
    poeme d'amour
    image d'amour
    citation d'amour
    Phrase d'amour
    http://msgdamour.blogspot.com/2012/04/phrases-damour.html
    mensaje de amor
    phrase d'amour
    amour
    déclaration d'amour
    lettre d'amour
    photo couverture facebook
    poème d'amour
    http://www.poeme-damour.com
    citation d'amitié
    histoire d'amour
    love photo
    love image

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  7. Quite on point. From many different angles, perspectives, cultures, religions.. much of the world today can reflect on this and most likely agree..

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  8. i wonder the same thing.

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  9. I agree, and wish it weren't true. Me, being the believer in true love and all...

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  10. My thoughts exactly!

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