Tuesday, September 11, 2012

i don't even know what to do

ph: dragontrees

It is you every single day. Since I met you. When you would watch me play tennis between your two-a-day football practices that summer sophomore year. When you and your brother took your uncles truck to take my sister and me to the movies. When you called me every single day and told me you were going to marry me and be with me every second and not a second less. When we were in chemistry and you would play with my hand under the table then stop- just holding it. When you would write the answers to our tests under my skirt and draw pictures in my chem notebook. When you picked me up and held me and set me down on top of my car.

Every single moment I was in love with you.
And I remember sitting on the tennis courts, with all my friends around me, thinking only of you.
You changed everything.
When you hugged me under the football bleachers that's the first time I ever felt the world spin around me. I understood, you were the center of my world. Everything would always spin around you. The only place I would ever fit was in your arms.

And now, 1445 days later, I haven't got too far. I tried to leave and I came right back. And I tried to find new boys but they could barely keep my eyes open. And I tried to figure you out so we could live this fairytale. And I just spent the night in your arms and you didn't even try to kiss me. I woke up and you were squeezing me so tight I thought you were never going to let go. And I closed my eyes and tried to do just that, freeze that moment; just stay in your arms for the rest of my life.
I don't think we would even know how to be together but I know that every single moment- every time I have felt your arms around me, that is what I want to keep forever.

I love you with every single inch of me. I love you with every single moment I have. I love you because before I even know what love was, you counted backwards to 14 and told me that was your favorite number, because that was the day you met me.

I'm in love with you and I don't even know what to do with it.
I'm in love with you because your shit's all messed up, and so is mine.

read between the @'s @i@l@o@v@e@y@o@u



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