Saturday, June 16, 2012

i will never stop loving you

via weheartit bed sweater love daydream blog,
ph: weheartit

Sometimes I lie in bed all day just so that I can dream of you.

Seven years ago now I met you. I was scared of you at first; scared of the way you looked at me. And of your rebellious ways. After that day you re-laced my chucks, though, I realized that what I was feeling wasn’t fear, and that the feeling bubbling in my core was really something much more life-altering. The next day you texted me and we went to the beach. I was intoxicated with the confidence your stare gave me, prancing around in my bikini. Every time I caught your eyes my heart jumped, and when your strong hand rested on my back I knew I was yours.

You were my boyfriend for four and a bit years. I don’t have anything but snapshots of our time together, all of these years later. I remember walking down the hill hand-in-hand after losing my virginity to you. I remember lying in your lap under the stars listening to your stories. I remember you laughing at me getting stuck on a cliff ledge, whilst letting me ease onto your strong shoulders as you helped me down. I remember dancing with you. I loved dancing with you. I remember you stopping me on the stairs and telling me that I was your soul mate.

Funny, but I don’t remember the first time you told me you loved me. I think it is because, for our whole relationship plus some, it was a given. I was the love of your life, and you were the love of my life. Nothing could change that. As safe and wonderful as that sounds, it was the undoing of us. We hurt each other. I cannot even put into words how much you hurt me, and now that I think about it, how much I hurt you. Just because we knew the other would always be there, unfaltering. We struggled against the hurt, drowning in the intensity of our love.

I remember, at the airport, whispering in your ear; “Nothing will change, I promise. I love you”, as I left for university.

Everything changed. I left and thought I had found better things. And then I left you. You were still mine, and I was still yours for a year after that. We continually toyed with our love. We kissed, we slept together, and we promised ourselves to one another… But only when the time was right. We used our great love as a back-up plan until, finally, all the hurt that had passed between us shattered everything we knew. All of the people we let get between us because we were too scared, really did push us apart – something we thought was impossible. It kills me that I didn’t fight for you before, now that it’s too late.

We are so far apart I don’t even know you anymore. But still, I cannot get over you. My love is unconditional. And a part of me still believes your love is unconditional too, that you think of me every day, like I do you.

Sometimes I lie in bed all day just so I can dream about you dreaming about me too.

And about the day you can be mine again.

M, I will never stop loving you.


  1. I love your story :)
    I know what it's like to love someone who isn't there with you, it's excrutiatingly painful, even though you never doubt your love. I strongly believe that love never fades, it just gets thrown to the back of your head somewhere. One day, you will find one another again, because pure love doesn't just disappear.
    I hope you will be together again, but even if you won't, you will always love one another.
    All the best,

    1. I too agree . . . It is very painful and i always wish my love would come back even after 4 years...

  2. When your not with your beloved one, you can be lonely even though you're standing in a crowd of people, near to you.
    This was one of the most beautiful postes for a long time.
    Thank you :.O
    PS: Maybe he's thinking the same things right now in another place. It's never too late for fighting. If he doesn't love you anymore you can start to forget him and if loves you...
    Well, I haven't expierienced that, but I hope you'll make it :)

  3. beautiful. now that i felt in love again, i re-understand all the mixed feelings and silent words. i truly believe in love and what's meant to be eventually will.
    keep writing and fullfil your life with all kinds of love.

  4. :( such a nice story...I hope love brings you together again

  5. That's stunning. Perfectly encapsulates first love and how bittersweet our memories really are. Keep it up!

    ~ Sophia Anna (

  6. That's stunning. Perfectly encapsulates first love and how bittersweet our memories really are. Keep it up!

    ~ Sophia Anna (

  7. If you still can't get over him, I think you should try to fight for him again! Perhaps it is not too late for you to do so, don't give up! :)

  8. "Sometimes I lie in bed all day just so that I can dream of you." - touching, this story moved me to tears.

  9. Beautiful, breath taking story. Its never too late to fight for him again. If you have the chance now, dont let it slip from your hands ! Fight for him.

  10. reading your post really got to me, because I have a similar story.
    i wish you the very best - and i hope you two find each other again.

  11. The most beautiful post in a long time

  12. I also have to leave my boyfriend and head to MMU for a year. And he is fulfilling his mandatory military service for 11 months.
    It is not so long, but it's long enough to pull us apart. I am so scared.

    I remember my sister told me about love--
    LOVE, go with the flow, but it's not that simple.
    You have to fight for LOVE and defend it with your heart.

    I hope I can fight for it, either.

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