Tuesday, May 1, 2012

a little faith

This little piggy (EXPLORED)
ph: John A Ryan Photography

Why is it so hard to have a little faith? Every time a love story begins, you automatically expect it to have a bad ending. Why don't we, as a society, believe in happy endings? Here's my happy story - perhaps it'll inspire you, maybe it'll bore you. Take it as you wish.

Some people have their reservations about Internet relationships. In a lot of cases, people greet the idea of an online relationship with severe disbelief. I don't blame them. Once upon a time, I was a skeptic too. There's also nothing quite as obscure as young love, and what is even more obscure is when they love you back. But he taught me about optimism, and now I can't have doubts.

We met in the saddest time of my life. It was 2006 and I was moving across the country and leaving behind everything I'd ever known. I was scared. I sought for guidance and found none among the people I knew. Because of that, I took to the Internet. Just a silly little chat room filled with some of the dirtiest and strange people I'd ever seen.

But then, there was him.

I don't want to sound cliché but there was an instant connection. It's easy to say that you can't have that when you haven't really met the person, but as silly as it sounds I knew it was there. For a long time we tried to deny it but it was right in front of us and it was too hard to ignore.

So we moved into 2007 as a blissful couple. Despite our beginning hesitation, we were suddenly all in and completely unaware of the outside world. We both shut out reality - to us, the other was reality. Nothing waited for us outside our little box - it was just the two of us, and we were quite happy with that.

But then, the cracks started to show. You can only go halfway in an online relationship and although we knew that we were both so nervous. We were only seventeen, after all.

We battled through it. The fights and the lies and the doubts and the breakups - we made it through all of it. Finally, we met.

The fear you experience before you meet the person you're in love with face-to-face is baffling. You know this person, you've shared your whole self with them, so it seems insane to be scared of them. But you always are. You're scared of their reaction to you - are you different in person? Will they still love you the same? Is the chemistry there now that you're together?

And it was pointless. Our worries and our fights, they all meant nothing.

It was instant. It was like we had never been apart. We spent weeks holed up in my house, uninterrupted by anyone or anything. It was paradise. It was unlike anything either of us had felt before. From then on, everything moved so quickly and yet so slowly.

In 2008 we moved in together, unable to be separated anymore. In 2009 he proposed to me, exactly the way I imagined he would. In 2010 we set a date, we booked a venue and we started planning. Now, in 2011, we've announced our first child.

Some people have their reservations about Internet relationships. I urge you not to. It's easy to judge something you have no experience in and in a lot of cases you're right to be hesitant. Most won't last, and there aren't many exceptions.

He's my exception. He's the reason I've woken up happy every single day for four years. He's the smile on my face and the light in my eyes. There's not a single part of me that doesn't exist for him. It seems silly to invest your entire self in another person, but I've done so without a second thought. I have faith in him and I have faith in us.

Why does it have to be so hard just to have a little faith?

12 comments:

  1. Le Love, Your story is inspiring. I wish that online dating skeptics would stumble upon it. I myself have tried online dating and that's not ultimately how I found love, but I did meet a lot of guys who were great. Just not guys I necessarily felt a connection with. Still, I had a little faith while in a "hopeless place" (Las Vegas) and actually met the love of my life. It was so unlikely. He and I (both not "Vegas people") ....one living in FL and one living in CA to meet each other randomly in a casino and talk for hours while sitting at a Lord of The Rings Slot Machine. It's unconventional (much like online dating), but there's two less lonely people in the world because of it. I hope everyone heeds your advice and takes a leap of faith. If they have already found marital bliss, I hope that they encourage others to be brace and take the leap.

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  2. Thank you for inspiring me to learn how to have a little faith. It's so necessary that I do at this point in my life.

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  3. wow. amazing! wish you both all the love and luck :)

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  4. I completely understand you. I had the same, you just feel that connection and you know that he/she'll mean a lot to you. In my case, everything. In yours too.

    Unfortunately mine didn't end well, but I do now know what love is. The story ain't over yet, I mean my story isn't over yet and I can't wait to figure it all out and have my happy ending(:

    Congratulations with your first child!

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  5. "Now, in 2011" erm...

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  6. the pic looks likes it's 2 men and a baby :P

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  7. Hey, I know this is extremely over-do, but I nominated you a while ago for the kreativ blogger award! http://thisismeandyouwillsee.blogspot.ca/2012/04/kreativ-blogger-award.html I hope to see the post soon!

    -Meg

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  8. As a writer of romance and love poems, I find your story quite inspiring. I have faith and believe in true love. I believe it can be found anywhere in any shape or form. Humans may be limited, but love is limitless. I hope that mnay more people find the kind of love that you have found, myself included.

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  9. So happy for you!
    Wish you both the best!

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  10. just wow, if that doesnt inspire people nothing will, because its has inspired me more to find girl that i can coonect with

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  11. Ooh it's so unreal, just magical (: . It give me faith, because I'm at the same situation as you were. I'm seventeen now. I met someone by the net few months ago and we're writing almost everyday from this time. I thought it just can't work and it's pointless and I was (actually I'm still) affraid because I think I'm slowly falling in love with him. Maybe it's weird, but... Thanks to you I look at it in different way and your example is just faithful for me :) We haven't met yet and I have the same fears as you had.. What do you think about my situation, it could work you think? I'm so sceptical person.

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