Sunday, April 1, 2012

karma

Ingrid Voldmo
ph: Ingrid Voldmo

I feel the need to write coz i'm in the darkest hour of my life, and no matter how much i talk to my friends theres still something i can never share with them.

I had heard about heartbreak, but never really realised it until now how painful that is. My heart is broken in way i never know that it can heal back. I loved a guy, i was 19 when i met him, and i knew instantly that i was gonna spend my life with him, he said the same. He made sure i knew if it wasnt me there wont be anyone else. I did everything i could to be with him. We were gonna get married, our parents had agreed and i was just waiting for him to be ready. We were not compatible, but we wanted to be with each other, almost 5 years.....we would have completed 5 years together tomorrow, if only we were together.

But he turned out to be a guy i never imagined he would be, i thought i could judge a person but he had me totally fooled. 2 months back he started ignoring me, never called and i thought maybe he's busy, if only i knew what or whom he was busy with. We didnt talk for a month, and when we spoke he told me he was over me and had moved one, i still couldnt believe it. I thought it was just another fight, but when i came to know he had moved on with someone else, i still couldn't believe. Coz i didn want to believe it, but he accepted it....he was lying to me for months, pretending to be just her friend. She pretended to be my friend, she spoke to me and advised me that i should not be with him, but i didn know what a whore she was. Home wrecker, she knew our parents had met and we wanted to get maried, i shared my problems with her and she used to lure him. And it worked. Even before i could accept the reality that we weren't together anymore he told me they were getting married. Yesterday they got engaged....

The only thing i was most scared of happened to me. I was cheated. My heart broke into millions of pieces and the worst part is i still cant get over it. I have to make a brave face in front of everyone, coz i dont want them to know that it has affected me, and i'm strong. But the truth is i have thought about him every single day of my life since i'v known him, since the day he told me he has moved on, and i dont know when will it stop. Every time i close my eyes his face flashes in front of me, the memories..... they just kill me every time i think of them.. I wish there was a cure for heartbreak, coz it breaks every time i hear any news about him, or see his picture with her, my breaks all over again. If only i knew when it would finally stop hurting.

I'm not a bad person but i can never wish happiness to him, i want him to suffer, i want him to hurt and go through what i have gone through, coz i didn't deserve what he did to me. I was faithful, loyal and totally committed to him, but he just pretended to be committed, lied and cheated. And i want him to suffer, burn in hell. I hope he's never trully happy in life. I hope she is never truly happy in life.

I believe in karma, and i hope they get what they deserve. I just hope these memories fade soon, coz i'm losing my strength........

28 comments:

  1. Hon, as annoying as this sounds the only true way you'll get over this boy is by not seeking vengeance for all that shit he put you through, but for you to accept what happened & move on with your life.

    Though it may seem like the most satisfying thing to see them both crumble, such feelings won't help you move on. Instead it'll propel you back into the past and make you cling onto feelings that you need to let go of to create a better future for yourself.

    http://skimandsink.blogspot.com

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  2. Thanks God a crazy wind from the south is comming.......... :)
    Big hugs!

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  3. You will get through this... I promise.

    And some day. some wonderful and beautiful day you will meet someone who makes you feel happy and worthwhile again...and he will be worth it.
    Until then... just breathe.

    The pain does fade. So look to that time somewhere in the future :)

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  4. Hi

    I know how you feel, the same thing happened to me, we were engaged. We knew each others families. it was only a matter of time to tie the knot etc.

    he lied. he cheated and broke everything we had.

    It still becomes a struggle.
    Somedays are worse than others, somedays you are genuinely happy and at peace.

    Sometimes your heart will surprise you how many times and in how many ways it can break.

    You have to move on. for your own sake. even if you have to tell yourself that you won't waste any more of your time, or yourself, on him.

    someone who can lie, and cheat and walk out of your life so easily, never really deserved to be there in the first place.

    things might happen to him, they might not. But you can't let his happiness define your own.

    it doesn't work that way.

    don't let him take anymore than he already has.

    stay strong my dear.

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  5. I know what you're feeling. I kinda had the same thing except we weren't engaged but we wanted to at some point in the future and he didn't cheat on me. Thank god.

    But I went through a hell. I don't want him to suffer though, I want him to be happy.
    You won't be able to move on of you hang on to those feelings, and maybe that's exactly the reason why.

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  6. I am so sorry you have to experience this. I admire your will to carry on and be strong through this. Be grateful that you did not marry him and have him lie to you afterwards. I believe it was better that you found out who he really was before you got married.

    Trust that God loves you and wants what is best for you, and that relationship was not what was best or you. When everything is falling apart that is when God is putting things together the way he wants them. You may not see it now, but down the road you will see with greater perspective and be grateful you did not end up with him.

    In order to truly heal and move on from this experience (which will take time) you must forgive them. Remember the quote from Mother Teresa: People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
    If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
    If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
    The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
    Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

    I believe in karma as well and they will receive what is coming to them. More importantly YOU will receive someone in your life who you truly deserve who will be FAITHFUL, and HONEST. Someone AMAZING and WONDERFUL will come into YOUR life and you will wonder how it worked without them, and be grateful you did not end up with the other jerk.

    Everything happens for a reason. Learn everything you can from this experience and keep moving FORWARD. Hold your head up high and be proud of yourself and know that you are loved and God has GREAT things in store for you!! Good karma is coming your way.

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  7. Thank You everyone for d advice, sometimes u just need to heard from others in order to start believing again.

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  8. Karma makes the whole difference. You don't have to do anything!

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  9. yes
    i found good content in www.love-feel.blogspot.com

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  10. You know what? You better confront him and that traitor. Hug that guy and say "Thanks for the memories. Thanks for making me realize how stupid and dumb I am, to love a GUY like you." and to that traitor; "Thanks for everything too, BITCH"

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  11. I have been through a this.. I had been broken, i cut my hair, cried for months, fasted for 8 days without water and food... I did every possible thing i could to just get him back.. I know e1 today i am hurt when i am writting this, but dear life is too long, I learned this lately, its before three months i joined a yes+ course from art of living, wherever you are just do this course, I dont say it will help you and you will be alright in a day, but if you can have some faith in it, you will be more happier than you know.. I don't know how to wish bad for my x.. i neither want to, i want the best for him.. May be i was just way too better he deserved.. Give life another chance, smile. Meditate it will help you wash away all your past! And remember everything happens for good..! U will get over him. Have u smiled lately?? Please can you do that for me? :)

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  12. Stay strong!!!!! U'll never forget him but u'll recover from this sadness..I'm sure! God only tested u coz He know u can handle it.

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  13. I'm sorry to say, it never stops hurting... ever. I'm a man who has had his heart ripped out. It's black and dead and doesn't beat for anyone any more. This never stops. The hurt never goes away. The pain remains.

    Life is not a Hollywood romance. It hurts and it's painful and happy endings are for a but a few, with bitter ashes for the remainder of us. Not everyone is destined to find someone, a soul mate or whatever.

    It's time all of us accepted that.

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  14. I really hate that life can be so unfair. This isn't a first world problem. This is a problem that relates to every human being on every square inch of the planet. Real, true "I've got your back" love is probably the most beautiful and rare thing in existence. I, for the life of me, cannot understand how some people can recognize that love and throw something like that away. What kind of monster do you have to be to do something like that?

    It probably feels so difficult right now, for you to do anything. To wake up, to stop thinking about the past, even breathing sometimes. I am so sorry this happened to you. This will always be a memory, but it doesn't have to be part of your present being. Confront, forget, and later eventually forgive. You are such a beautiful person and you deserve to be with other beautiful people! There aren't many of us left, please don't let this experience affect your future behavior in a negative way. Stay true to who you are, and be the best friend you can be. If you do that, you will find yourself surrounded by people who are the same. :] A few things to remember - you did not deserve this, and stay strong! Someone who abandons a good friend will continue to do so, and someone who lies and cheats other people will continue to do so. Their relationship will not last happily ever after, although you might believes that now.

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  15. I didn't want anything negative to happen to anyone, and it's an experience. I wish things were on an even playing field, but live, love, learn and grow from The events or lack of. Clarity comes at different times. Peace, love and joy to all. Don't be an April fool, like I was. ;-) 😔

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  16. Time heals everything.
    What goes around comes around...

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  17. stay STRONG. have faith in love. everything will fall into place. just have faith. it will be slow and a long process..but your heart will heal and you will smile again sweetie. i promise you.

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  18. I'm sorry that you are going through this, but you will someday find someone amazing! I know I've been through a lot of pain and I've struggled a lot, but keep your head up! Someday that pain will leave.

    Miss H

    http://datingtwenties.blogspot.com/2012/04/its-not-obsession-its-called-being-hurt.html

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  19. "There are days I drop words of comfort on myself like falling leaves & remember that it is enough to be taken care of by my self"

    "cheer up, sweet beautiful girl. you are going to love again. and it will be magnificent"

    "it's ok if you've got to travel alone sometimes. you are brave enough"

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  20. Be strong and surround yourself with people like your family to help you get through this. Life is full of obstacles and I believe that there's always that someone for you. Never give up !

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  21. Ouch. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but if it helps, I've been there. i was with my first love for four years and he did exactly the same thing.

    Hurts like hell, but you'll be ok in time xxx

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  22. THIS IS EXACTLY THE SAME WITH MY STORY! Except the fact that I I did not know the girl he's being together with. Guys are sucks!

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  23. You will heal. The time will come when you can love again. I promise.

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  24. Very interesting information share....

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