Saturday, April 7, 2012
the best decision
ph: boa noite cinderela
He was dangerous to me. They told me my health would be affected. He was bad. He was a user. But it just felt right.
He was my best friend. He helped me when I had a guy issue that was making me cry myself to sleep at night. He was dating someone else at the time and I never tried anything. He was the kind of guy every girl kind of sort of has a crush on because he’s cute and sweet and funny. The girl he was with broke his heart. I helped him through his heart broken love songs and he vented to me about how much he still felt like he needed her.
I confessed that I liked him. He kissed me after a day trip to visit my friend in the hospital. Our relationship began. It was just immature and silly. We fought and then broke up over sex. I told him I wanted to wait until marriage. He didn’t get it. I realized he was using me as a rebound. I couldn’t take it.
A few weeks later he started dating some girl that we both hated. He told me we could still be friends and he didn’t want to lose me. I was okay but I cried every time I saw them together. Every Sunday I had to go straight home instead of his house and I cried every time. I hated myself for losing him and I hated him for being such a jerk.
The evil girl broke up with him and he came crawling back to me. I hated him for that. I felt like a rebound again. I told him to fuck off and get a life. He still tried. He invited me over his house and I accepted even though I knew what would happen. We watched movie in his room and then he started talking and coming closer to my face. I kept turning my head away. We both knew what we were doing. He got like an inch from my face and then just stayed there. I rolled my eyes and then pulled him in to kiss him. It was the most magical thing I’ve ever experienced.
He told me he would change and that he was sorry for the past. I didn’t really believe him and I distrusted him a lot. But then we started dating again. Everyone told me I was stupid for falling for his tricks. But something just told me that he had changed and that this was a good move. A year and few a months later, I still believe it was the best decision I’ve ever made. Don’t always do what other people tell you to; do what your heart says. But don’t be stupid about it. Love comes at times and through people we would never picture ourselves with sometimes. You just have to be patient. And trust yourself. You may just surprise yourself.