Tuesday, September 6, 2011
before you leave
It happened so unexpectedly and took us both by surprise. We both were hesitant about the situation but it just worked. The secrets and sneakiness made the thrill of it all so much more exciting! It was easy, it was simple but it was new, it was exciting and was fresh. It was different from anything we had ever felt before. Right now, though, I feel weak. I feel clingy, but it's never hit me this hard before. I don’t want to regret not saying things to you before you leave, so here it is…..
This thing between is unexplainable. It cannot be described because I can’t seem to be able too. The words and the concepts just don’t seem to match what it actually is. Every time I got a text or thought about you my stomach would get all funny, like there were butterflies where organs should be. I felt like a little kid again.
If I didn't know any better I'd say I'm falling in love with you but enough to know that the adventure your about to go on is one that I’m not going to hold you back on or make things harder for you. I’m so excited for you but so incredibly sad to see you go. You have taught me so much and made me feel like I have something to look forward to again in the future. Don’t be scared or nervous because being young is such an exciting time and you officially have the world at your feet, the world is now your oyster.
The time I have spent with you has made me look forward to the next time we see each other, whether it be tomorrow, next month, next year, 10 years from now or when you finally return from this exciting journey your about to take part on. It is the best feeling knowing that some of your best days are just waiting to be lived out. Doing anything with you seems extraordinary to me.
I’m lucky to say I have you as a friend. I’m proud of you because you’ve never let me down.
While it lasted we had some of those things some people are yet to experience. We are the lucky ones, to meet somebody and get along so well instantly. To have a crazy connection with somebody you barely know but it’s something you hear people talk about and read about. While we had it it’s was real, it was great, it was really great.
What are two years, 730 days, 17520 hours? I want this letter to be something you can read and feel like you miss me but remember I’ll be seeing you soon, no goodbyes or never seeing each other again just I’ll miss you until you come back. We could have had a great story but instead this is it for now and what happens next is up to this huge universe.
Whatever you choose to do in your life to be, you will do amazing things, I may be young, I may be foolish, I may be naïve but you have so many experiences and times to come that will blow you away. I hope you keep in contact and make me jealous about all the amazing times you experience in Canada. Make memories that will make you speechless. Blow yourself away with the things you can achieve and surprise yourself. Do crazy things just to say you did them. Let yourself be wild, live with no regrets but be true to yourself.
The times we spent together and the little memories we shared I will keep them close until there is another time to make new ones again. I want that night where we laid in your bed with nervous hands, our shoulders touched and you kissed me and I couldn’t stop smiling.