Wednesday, August 24, 2011
you turned my life into something beautiful.
I Love You Endlessly:
2 years before I met you I would lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and think, I need someone. I need someone so badly to make me feel again. I waited, miserably, for someone to come into my life and turn things around for me.
One day it clicked. Who would love me like this? For one, I spent all day in my room. I woke up, completed my schoolwork, and went back to bed. I avoided human contact, even with my family. If by some chance encounter I actually did meet someone new, why would they ever talk to me? Apart from the forced smile I gave my parents to avoid conversation, I never smiled. I never felt like laughing, I shied away from physical contact and I had no personality anymore. I didn't embody anything that made a person attractive to another person. It wasn't bad luck that was keeping me from meeting someone, it was myself.
When I met you, I was finally content with who I was. Thinking back now, it seems like right when I became okay with myself, you came into my life. I had hoped so badly to meet you before; I just wasn't ready back then.
When we first started talking it was a complete shock for me. I was in a stable place, but I was still seeing in dark colors. You brought color and emotion into my life that I never knew existed. You gave me such butterflies that I felt nauseous. It was so overwhelming it actually made me feel sick.
Before you, if someone brushed up against me at the supermarket, I shuddered away like I had done something wrong. I had never been kissed and I couldn't remember the last time I had been embraced by anyone. But when we met, you touched my hand so lovingly and so gently that I cried. I had never felt so much love from just a touch before. It was electric, overwhelming, amazing.
I trusted you so quickly. I wanted to tell you everything: my past, my struggles, and my secrets. I wanted to talk to you all day everyday and spill everything I didn't realize I was keeping inside.
You were patient and kind and, throughout the 3 years we have been together, have taught me what love really is. You showed me how to let someone love me. You helped me leave behind everything I didn't want to be. I have so many hopes and dreams because of you and I see life in so much color with you around.
It is the best feeling knowing that some of your best days are just waiting to be lived out. I want to have our mattress on the floor and eat Chinese take out with you. I want to pick up hamburgers and french fries on the way home from Thanksgiving with our families because we didn't like the food at their house. I want to ask you how your day at work was and slide your coat off your back when you come home. I want you to sit on our bed while I stand in front of you and tie your tie when we get ready to go somewhere nice. I want to give you a list of easy chores around the house so that you can go to the home improvement store. I want to make you coffee in the morning and bring it to you in bed before you wake up.
Doing anything with you seems extraordinary to me.
You and I have so much to look forward to and I owe that all to you. You turned my life into something beautiful.