Thursday, June 9, 2011
you should have said no.
You should have said no and this whole thing would have been avoided. But you didn't. You never even fathomed that I was in your mind. In the back of your very head. You let her bat her eyes, touch your arm, tease you til you couldn't take it anymore. But most of all, you betrayed me. All I want to know is, "why?" What did she have that I couldn't have offered you? Why did she flood back into your memories? Why did you cave into her little game? You should have said no. You should have shoved her away. Told her to leave. SOMETHING! But instead, you caved. Gave in to her every whim. Her every desire. Once she was satisfied, it was too late. You betrayed me. You lied to me. You straight up forgot I even existed in your life.
Was it worth it? Was it worth this? Was it worth losing me? Losing everything you once held so closely to? I feel really cheated, in fact, I was cheated. I never expected this. Especially from you. You were the last person I ever expected to hurt me this badly. So badly, I didn't want to get up out of bed. I just wanted to lie there all day. Forget the world. Forget you. But, I knew I couldn't. I had to get up. Dress up. Put on my face. Fake that smile. Get through my day. Without you... But, I don't think you would have made it any better. You sure did enough. I just don't understand it. I don't understand you. All I know is now, I can't even look at you. You Should have said No.
You lost me.