Tuesday, June 7, 2011

i know what love is.


unknown

This isn’t a story about a breakup.

This is a story about recovery, about strength, and, most importantly, about love.

Three weeks into a perfect relationship, depression hit me. I was a complete mess. And despite my weekly therapy sessions and medication, it only seemed to be getting worse. I knew I was unsuccessfully hiding it from him so, by some miracle, I managed to gather up the strength and explain to him the cause of my unpredictability and moodiness.

I expected the worst. We were both young, our relationship was just starting, and depression is not an easy burden to bear. But I was so wrong to doubt that boy. It was that weekend that I realized I was in love with this person who was willing to take care of me through all the hardship life was throwing my way.

Sadly, things only seemed to get worse. I realized my depression had wrapped itself around our relationship; any little thing he said or did could set me off. I cried myself to sleep almost every night, and I could sense his frustration when he could do nothing to comfort me while I was alone. It was so hard for me to separate my true feelings from the depression, and the confusion made our relationship almost unbearable.

Here we are, 4 months later, and I’m not going to lie, things aren’t perfect. Just last week I was convinced we’d be better off apart, but the depression has died down and my self-awareness has made it so much easier to see the truth behind my sadness. Every day I am more and more grateful that he’s always been there for me, never once got upset or turned his back on me. He’s been patient and supportive and everything I could ask for in a boyfriend. I love him more than anything, and although there are more trials ahead of us and we may not last forever, I will always remember our time together and the kindness he’s shown me.


It is because of you, Miles, that I know what love is.


L.

21 comments:

  1. beautiful experience :)

    is this a true story??

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  2. beautiful experience :)

    is this a true story?

    - DREAMS DON'T TURN TO DUST

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  3. If this story is about you, never let go of him. Men like that are rare.
    He's a keeper, and so are you.

    -Tiana
    tianalachelle.blogspot.com

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  4. I agree with Tiana - Please do not leave him as he will be broken... it is very difficult to find people who love you and stand by you. I have gone through the same situation and i am lost...

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  5. ohh!!! i felt that im reading my love story...

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  6. I wonder if you are on the pill... birth control pills can course a depression, and you got depressed three weeks in. If you are eating any, I suggest you give them up instantly.

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  7. it is beautiful. be strong, darling, you both are ment to be together.

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  8. that's beautiful!!!! loved it, keep on it, because I know this feeling of looking through your window and see a gray sky, but when hearing him, looking at him or just thinking about him...can make the clouds go away and the sun shine...

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  9. Beautiful...I shedded a few tears

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  10. Love is a beautiful thing. Stay strong. Check out my blog at http://mylovefourher.blogspot.com/

    Be encouraged

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  11. He's definitely a keeper :) I had the same start to my relationship and here we still are, almost 2 years together now.. my depression is gone and we are happier than ever :) really hope you get through the depression and that you two can stay together when that time comes. hopefully you are not just depending on him for support/love/attention during this trying time.

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  12. Aww thats super cute !
    I hope to have a boyfriend like that.
    That you stay together trough the ups and downs and it goes both ways.

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  13. This is the most beautiful thing I read on this blog. Ever. You're an amazing person and so is he. Things will work out, your love is beautiful.

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  14. Awesome story. Anyone who sticks with a person whose suffering with depression is awesome. xoxo

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  15. That's just lovely :) He truly loves you. Definitely meant to last~

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  16. Good for you, L. I wish there were more people like Miles. :-)


    -Anna

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  17. i like it. very poetic. I am in long distance rela and it's very hard. I'm truly deeply inlove with him my life turns to him and idk if wat im gonna if he'll go away.. some thoughts of your blog is exactly the way i felt it.

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  18. Going to make me cry! I'm glad you appreciate him :) Good luck to you both!

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  19. Of course, the writer is completely fair.

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