Tuesday, May 10, 2011

please let me go.


unknown


It's been 3 years. The first time I saw you was when we both walked out of our doors at the same time. You went down the stairs first and my puppy went running after you (she has always liked you for some reason). You let her out and she took off down the sidewalk. We both ran after her but I was faster. You made a comment about how you ran track in college and how did I beat you?? It was very obvious we both had a crush from that first meeting. Several weeks later I saw you at a party. We finally talked and I learned your name. You told me you were in a band- you told me the name and I had never heard of it. Later we went to your apt and you played a song for me- it was a song I had heard on the radio lately that touched me in a place a song hadn't touched me in a long time- and this whole time I had no idea it was you. I couldn't believe this was your song. We listened and sat in silence until it was over- then I walked over to you and we had our first, amazing kiss. You played the guitar and sang for me all night and we talked and had the best night together.

Weeks later you had a concert- I went. I ran into a girl I had met once and asked what she was doing there. She said watching her boyfriend. I asked who her boyfriend was (never thinking it would have been you). It was. My heart dropped. I saw you after the concert and asked you about it- you said you had just gotten back together with her and it was confusing. You continued texting me. Kept telling me it wasn't working out with her- and for some reason I continued to see you every time you came in town. You broke up with her. You got back with her. Broke up. Got back with her again. In all this I continued to see you for some crazy reason. I had never done anything like that in my life before but you made it feel like if I would just be patient, and wait, it would work out. How did I (the nice girl from the Midwest) turn into the "other girl"? This wasn't me. But I did it.

It has now been almost 3 years- I am still in love with you for some crazy reason. We have something I have never felt with anyone- my heart beats when you're around, I feel high when I leave you. Not two months have gone by when I haven't seen you in almost 3 years- but still we're not together. You tell me everything- about your family, your secrets, your fears. Do you know how many times I have wanted to tell you I love you but am scared? I keep thinking I will find this with someone else. It doesn't happen. No one compares. You have come a long way in the last 3 years. You have changed a little but when its just you and me you're still the same. You tell me I am comforting and you feel so warm when you're around me. You think about me all the time, the way my skin feels and my lips. I think about every. single. day.

You are now broke up with her for the final time- and I really do believe you this time. But why do I have the feeling you will have a new girlfriend (not me) in no time? I really want to get over you. I truly do. And I have come very close- but then you always pop back in like you did last week. It's like you can feel it. Sometimes I feel like the only way is to move away..I feel like quitting you would be similar to quitting heroin. I think its time for you to finally leave me alone. Let me move on because this isn't fair to me. You know how much I care and if you don't feel the same please let me go.

I am begging you.

20 comments:

  1. I think its all in ur mind. I dont think the guy did anything wrong. I think it was you that made it hard for both of you. First of all, if he wants you, he will be chasing you. As we all know, guys will have what they want when they know they can! and obviously u r crazy about him, and trust me he knows that! and yet, he still has not done anything. I think its not about u wanting him to let you go, I think its about u realising that he is out of reach and move on. It will be hard, but ull move on eventually.

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  2. It reminds me of my love life. I & my ex broke up 3 yrs ago from a 6 yrs relationship. This 3 yrs he kept coming back to remind me how much he miss me etc. and at the same time, he is still with his current gf. All these while I been giving him chances & waited for him, yet I realized that he was just flirting & fooling around, he wasn’t serious.. I guess most of the guys did this. Is time for us to move on.. all the best ;)

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  3. You must hear the song "Please don't go" by Barcelona.

    Youtube > (very beautiful) ttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7deClndzQw

    Spotify > http://open.spotify.com/local/Barcelona/Absolutes/Please+Don%27t+Go/270

    Take care,
    David

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  4. i know it's probably not very right of me to say this, but i honestly think it's possible for a person to be in love with two people at the same time.
    perhaps the boy in your story is really in love with both you and his girlfriend.

    if he had met you before his girlfriend, the two of you might have already been together.

    love is about timing as much as it is about fate.

    it makes me wonder why life sometimes plants really special people into your life at all the wrong moments though, and make you go through the misery of watching these people leave you because he/she came in at the wrong time, and there's nothing you can do to make them stay with you even though it's all you're wishing for.

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  5. I agree with the first comment. He knows you like him and if he likes you too, then he will make the move.

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  6. It's all about timing in life. It's not your fault, nor it is his. Or maybe it's both your fault. You for hanging so desperatly on him, and him for leading you on because he thinks you'll be around for ever.
    You don't stand a chance if you don't make things happen and create your own timing. Whether you go for it regardless of the consequences, or you totally let go is up to you ; but stop waiting after him, expecting him to make a decision for you.
    I don't mean to be harsh on you. I was there too, so I just know too well what it's like, but you gotta decide by yourself what is you want, and then you have to stick to it; because he isn't going to come to you on his white, but he's not gonna let go either, since he feels can rely on you.
    And, no matter what you decide, don't change your minde half way. Confess to him, tell him you want him, and a real relationship with him, or stop seeing him and letting come and go as he wants in your life. And don't worry, there will be someone out there for you, it's just that now, you only have him in your eyes, so you can't look at anyone else.
    Just stop waiting after him, you've already wasted enough time, you deserve a lot better than that.
    Love.
    Wsh you the best, with or without him.

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  7. If he wants you, he'll fight. Fight. For YOU.

    Let him go love, let your heart heal.
    Let yourself heal.


    You are better and stronger than you think you are.

    If you read this, and I hope you do, please stay strong <3

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  8. totally agree with the comment above me! amen, A!

    i totally know how it feels to say- 'Let me move on because this isn't fair to me. You know how much I care and if you don't feel the same please let me go. i am begging you.' - because i've felt this statement one too many times over the past year. i knew i couldn't leave him on my own [at least, i thought so] and i felt like he had to be the one to leave me, otherwise it would never end. well, he hasn't left me, so i would have been waiting indefinitely if i counted on him...but i have realized i am strong enough to leave him. on my own. in my control, on my terms. so i did. i feel strong. it's probably more about feeling strong than being strong, in the end. LOOK FOR THE FEELING!! best wishes

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  9. Can I give you a suggestion really quickly?


    I know this seems hard and embarrassing and the possibility of rejection is terrifying, but if you are wanting him to leave you alone, what have you got to lose, right? Tell him. Tell him how you feel, and how much you love him. HOWEVER, act confident about it, not clingy and dependent on him. Confidence is one of the most sexy traits a woman could possibly have in the eyes of a man, I have found.

    What us girls don’t realize is our acting strong and as though we don’t give a crap can channel bad energy and cause the guy to grow uncomfortable. They’re just like us, really. Timid and afraid to tell how they feel – especially if we aren’t giving off vibes that we feel the same way. They act tough and strong, and the only way to break them out of that shell is to just be honest with him and yourself about how you feel.

    So give it a shot. Why not? You might be surprised. I know I was when I told the man I love who I thought fell out of love with me and began to neglect me. Turns out, his thoughts were just like mine. He was trying to be strong and independent and let go before he got hurt.

    Sometimes, it’s all just a misunderstanding. So communicate.

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  10. i'm so sorry you have to go through this. i agree with the comments above about getting your power back. be strong. be true to yourself.

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  11. Mum is right.
    If the person really loves you, no matter what he/she will be with you.

    I learn this TWICE. I'm moving on already, too.

    You'll be good.

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  12. Be brave and do not settle for a man who does not think that you should be his one and only. It's only what you deserve.

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  13. you and I have literally been living the same life in every aspect and detail of this story. I would swear that I just wrote that post, its surreal. knowing you are out there too is such a strange comfort.

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  14. I agree with Jessica, this is literally happening to me right now with a guy I haven't been able to escape from for the last three years and knowing that your also going through a similar dilemma is strangely comforting and reassuring that I'm not crazy for feeling this way.

    Same as you, I met this guy 3 years ago when I started college and there was an instant attraction. However we met at the wrong time when I was with someone else and soon as I broke up with my boyfriend, he began going out with someone else. With their constant break ups, were about to graduate and I still haven't given up hope of wanting to be with him. He makes me feel more alive and more like me than anyone else, no one else seems to compare. But it's not healthy hanging on waiting, you have a choice to make or you won't be able to move on with your life.

    As the others have said, it is likely that hes not letting you go because hes enjoying the attention your giving him but I think you have to either confront him or quit him, run towards him or run away. Either way, you deserve to be loved by someone, rather than wait for someone to wake up. Take control!

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  15. You are crazy about this guy.And he knows it.But he doesn't care about you at all right?I think you are missing a great opportunity to find some one who loves you,who really cares about you.Move on.
    All the best :)

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  16. do you know the book and/or movie cool girl? your situation reminds me of it.

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  17. This guy is a jackass and doesnt give a shit about you. Why would you ever want to be with someone who doesnt care about YOUR feelings? Why would you want to be with this self-absorbed jerk at all? EVER?? RESPECT YOURSELF! If he cared about you he would be with you. Think about his actions. Put it in perspective. Are the things that he is doing really what you want in a man? You were the other girl, and if he ever got with you someone else would be the other girl. WTF

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  18. It won't work in actual fact, that is what I suppose.

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  19. It's been 6 months since I let you go physically but you are still in my heart. and ......

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  20. This can't succeed in reality, that is what I think.

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